Unapologetic
by Dewmoon
Summary: I remember that he held my attention from the moment I saw him. I told myself he didn't mean anything, but ten years later he still had my attention. AU in America with no magic.
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first story and it is actually based off of my own life. It is set in America with no magic and basically follows the past ten years of my life but from the point of view of Hermione and Draco. I do not own the characters or the setting. I only own the plot and any characters not from Harry Potter. I hope you enjoy (:**

* * *

I remember that he held my attention from the moment I saw him. We were fifteen and I had just transferred back to Hogwarts as a fourth year after spending the past three years being home schooled. I walked in and immediately claimed my seat in Literature next to the one girl I knew from elementary school before I had left. The teacher then began her obligatory introductions and asked each of us to make place cards to help her learn our names. That's when he threw the door open and entered my life. It was literally the first class of the year and he was twenty minutes late, walking in as if he owned the place with a smirk.

"Draco!" a chorus of voices greeted this boy as a few people that already knew him clamored for him to sit in the empty seats next to them. My eyes lingered on him for some reason. You could immediately tell he was charismatic and comfortable wherever he was as he sank into the chair next to the door and dropped his expensive, leather bag by his chair. The teacher approached him, asking why he was late for class on the first day of school. He smoothly made an excuse, making her laugh in the process and completely forgive him.

"Hermione!" came an urgent voice next to me. I turned to the petite, blonde girl next to me.

"Hm?" I responded, still deep in thought.

"You haven't finished your place card," she waved a piece of folded paper with the words Luna Lovegood before my face. It was decorated with her birth date and various little pictures that described her, such as a picture of a dog and some art supplies. I turned back to my empty piece of white printer paper and shook my head to clear it before writing down my name and drawing a couple of books, a cat and a dog.

"Your last name is Granger though," Luna said, looking over my shoulder.

"Well it's not fitting," I explained as I barely squeezed a G onto the paper before running out of room. I had written my first name a little too large.

"Okay class," the heavily pregnant Mrs. Burbage interrupted our conversation. "Now introduce yourself to the person next to you using your place cards!" Luna and I just turned to each other and laughed. We had known each other for about four years and had lived next to each other up until about a month ago in an apartment complex across the street from Hogwarts. Almost everyday after school when we were younger had been spent playing tag and talking to each other, so there was obviously no need for introductions. When you tell a bunch of teenagers to talk to the person next to them though, inevitably we all end up talking to everyone and anyone near us.

While Luna met some of the girls around us, I felt my gaze drifting back towards the boy, who was now energetically chatting and introducing himself to the people around him. Some of them knew him, but it was evident that whether they did or not, he was in command of the situation. They were all listening to his every word and laughing at every joke he made. I took that time to get a closer look at him. Anyone would say he was handsome. Even as a fifteen year old, there was no denying it. He was tall, fair and had light blonde, almost platinum, hair. It was evident that he would only become more attractive as he grew older. However, that wasn't what captivated me about him. I watched him laugh with his friends and I was simply astonished by how easy-going he was. He didn't look like he even cared what people thought about him. He was just, unapologetically, himself.

I was so lost in my thoughts that I didn't even notice him raise his eyes a little higher until they connected with mine. His eyes were so bright and lively that I couldn't look away and for what felt like an unreasonably awkward amount of time, but in reality was probably only a couple of seconds, we just looked at each other. Suddenly, I snapped to my senses and spun back around in my chair, my heart beating just a little faster for some inexplicable reason.

_I spent the last three years of my life under house arrest with basically just my family and a slightly overweight dachshund to keep me company. He's just the first attractive guy I've seen in a long time._ Satisfied with my explanation for my reaction to him, I nodded aggresively to myself and turned back to Luna, who gave me a look as if I had absolutely lost my mind. I just smiled at her and feigned ignorance, which probably did not reassure her about my sanity, before we went back to socializing. For the rest of that day, I focused on making friends, a few of which would remain important people in my life throughout my time at Hogwarts. However, I was certain that Draco Malfoy would not be one of those people. I really could not have been more wrong.

* * *

The next month of school remained generally uneventful. My eyes continued to wander towards Draco and I learned a little bit more about him through our two classes together: Literature and History. He was taking Advanced Arithmetic as a fourth year. Advanced Arithmetic was only available to students starting their sixth year and very few students were accepted into the subject to begin with. From that, as well as his contributions and grades in class, it was evident that he was very intelligent. On the other hand, from his constant interruptions during class, which I had yet to see any teacher call him out on, it was obvious that he could not shut up. Draco made pretty much every teacher melt with his humor and practically everyone loved him, despite the fact that he was incapable of being quiet. I lost count of the amount of times he would make a smart ass remark and I would have to stifle my laugh so that I didn't interrupt class, resulting in a kind of strangled hiccup noise that sounded like I had choked on my own tongue. I knew if I laughed that I would be the one in trouble, not him, so I made sure to try and stay quiet. But he always noticed and would shoot me a grin whenever he heard me stifling my laugh. Besides that, we never interacted during that month.

At home however, it was a different story. I was slowly, but surely, becoming more introverted around my family. My older sister had just started her sixth year at Hogwarts, and with this milestone came all the angst and screaming matches that I had heard came with being a teenager, but I never personally expected to experience through my parents and sister. My mother also moved further away at that point so that she could get more money working as a physician for me and my sister. As a result, I found myself hiding in my room to escape from the screaming matches between my sister and father, until my mom would come home during the weekend. Then the arguments would start again with the addition of my mother's voice. The only goal had been to get through each day causing as little trouble for my family as possible. So, I went to school, received good grades and tried to be the perfect child at home. Not that anyone noticed or, if they did, cared. And for awhile I continued to live my life like that without really feeling that anyone saw me as significant enough for any kind of attention.

After one of the more intense fights in my household that lasted well into the night and revolved around my sister screaming that our parents never listened to her, I entered Mrs. Burbage's class and immediately put my face down on my desk and let out a low groan. The lack of sleep that resulted from being kept awake because of the constant fighting in my house was catching up to me.

"You good?" I gave a noncommittal grunt and raised my head to meet the concerned eyes of Padma Patil, probably the single most competent human being on the planet and another one of my close friends.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I said, going for a reassuring smile that most likely looked more like a grimace. Padma was arguably the smartest student at Hogwarts and she would often correct various teachers' assignments. So it wasn't surprising when she looked at me as if she knew every word out of my mouth was bullshit. "I just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Okay, if you're sure that's it." She took her seat next to me and a moment later Luna came into the classroom and sat in an empty seat by us. Those two girls were providing me with so much more support than they even knew. When I came to school to get away from my house, it always felt like I was spending time with good people with good intentions, providing me with a brief distraction from my life.

"Good morning class!" Mrs. Burbage, who looked like she was about to pop at any moment, strolled in and shut the door. "Today's my last day before my maternity leave, so you will meet your substitute teacher next class, which will be on Monday! I don't know you all very well, but I will miss each and every one of you and can't wait to see you all when I come back." That was definitely an exaggeration. The only thing this woman knew about me was my birthday because she had the same one as me. I was pretty confident that she still had not figured out my name and had doubts that she ever would. So much for those place cards.

Right then, on cue, Draco sauntered in late. Mrs. Burbage did nothing but smile fondly at the smirking boy before continuing her spiel. "For today's assignment, I am going to number all of you off and put you in groups to discuss last night's short story about The Little Mermaid."

As we waited to be numbered off, Luna, Padma and I talked about what our new teacher could be like, wondered whether we would have to change seats on Monday and gave Padma ten dollars for winning our bet on whether Mrs. Burbage would go into labor during class. We really only discussed the most important things.

"Alright! You all should have sticky notes numbered one through six on them," Mrs. Burbage announced. "Find the other four people with your number and discuss the questions I wrote on the white board."

I picked up the bright pink sticky note on the corner of my desk to find a small two written in blue ink on it. I quickly scanned the room and found three kids in the corner of the room. They were all sitting and discussing their plans for the weekend while one boy held up two fingers to signify that they were group two. I made my way over and entered their conversation. Since I had known the three of them moderately well for approximately a month at this point, I considered all of them acquaintances and had no problem discussing "The Little Mermaid," which was a poem by Judith Viorst. However, we had to wait for our fifth person before we could begin.

"Hey guys, sorry I had to talk to Mrs. Burbage really quick about going out of town on Monday." I looked up with the words "it's fine" on the tip of my tongue, but that's when my eyes locked for the second time with the pair of strangely warm, silver ones that I had seen on my first day of school. My mouth went dry and I fell silent as Draco grinned at me and slid into the desk across from me, facing me and maintaining eye contact that practically took my breath away.

"You're fine," someone else in our small group said and the other three members of our group began to take turns discussing the poem. I did my best to focus on what the others were saying but I could feel Draco's eyes on me and nothing else. _Why is he looking at me? Why won't he stop looking at me? Is there something on my face? Why the FUCK is this boy STILL staring at me?! _My thoughts were just variations of this question despite my best efforts to focus on the poem.

"Hermione, what do you think about it?" I finally snapped out of it when everyone, and not just Draco's, eyes were on me.

"Uh well," panicked, my eyes connected with Draco's again and instead of seeing patience and encouragement, which was on everyone else's face, I saw a smirk and an unspoken challenge. And that's when it hit me. He knew he unnerved me, and he was expecting me to be flustered and make a fool out of myself. With this realization, I felt my irritation and pride take over so that I could show him how little I cared about his proximity to me. He apparently also noticed the change in my resolve because I saw surprise momentarily flash in his eyes before I turned towards the rest of the group.

"Well, in my opinion at least, I think that the poem obviously has the theme of how it's important to be yourself like you guys mentioned but it also talks a lot about disappointment and unrequited love, which I think is interesting. Normally, when you think of 'The Little Mermaid' you think of her living happily ever after and this poem is showing a more realistic ending where she sacrificed everything for someone she loved and trusted to love her back. Instead of loving her back though, the prince just left her behind, as a result she learns that she should be more careful with who she loves and trusts and finds out the importance of not changing herself for someone else. So, there's multiple themes in the poem, not just one - Is there a problem?" I broke off my analysis and turned on Draco when I realized that everyone else was nodding in agreement while he was just sitting there staring at me with narrowed eyes.

"Nope," he said, obnoxiously popping the p sound. "I just disagree with something you said."

"And please, do tell what it is you disagree with? I'm dying to know." Admittedly, I may have sounded more snappish than I meant to, which, judging by the confused and surprised looks on the faces of our other group members, came off as slightly hostile. But that stupid smirk on Draco's face was quickly becoming something that made me want to smack him.

"Well, in my opinion at least," he began mockingly as I struggled to prevent myself from throwing my pencil at his head, "this story isn't more realistic at all. It could have just as easily been a happy ending. It just didn't work out that way. And we have no way of knowing that she would have been happy if she didn't sacrifice everything for the prince. He could have still married someone else and she would have still been curious about not being a mermaid, which could have led to her alienating herself from her family and led to her still being all alone."

"So, what? You're saying her life is depressing either way?" I asked, confused about his point.

"I'm just saying that just because it's sad, doesn't make it more realistic. I think this poem just shows that sometimes risks don't work out, but I, personally, still think it's worth it to take them. Because you never know what ending you're going to get." Draco's eyes never left mine and I could tell he was confused about something as he looked at me. For some reason, I looked away first. In that moment I had felt way too vulnerable, as if he knew more about me than he should after that brief conversation.

"That's optimistic," I muttered after the group acknowledged both of our statements and moved on to answering the other questions about the poem.

"I'm a glass half-full kind of person," he said, shrugging. "I assume you think it's half-empty?"

"Sometimes."

He nodded, as if he had seen that coming. "I'm Draco by the way."

"Hermione."

"I know, we've been in two classes with each other for like a month."

"Then why did you even ask?"

"I didn't," he said, smirking. Seriously, who smirks that much. "You just assumed that I did when I introduced myself."

"Well, why did you bother introducing yourself then?"

"Because it's polite?"

"Then maybe I just introduced myself to be polite?"

"Maybe, but I have a feeling you're not interested in being polite to me."

"So, I'm rude then?" I asked, feeling indignant at the idea of this boy, who knew absolutely nothing about me, was deciding who I was so quickly.

"No. You're just different. More interesting."

And with that he leaned back in his chair and went back to watching me, grinning for no apparent reason. I just stared back at him for a moment with no idea what to say, before I turned back to our other group members with a small smile on my face.

* * *

He continued to attempt to initiate conversations with me over the next few weeks and, despite my efforts to remain civil, I very quickly came to the conclusion that he did not want that. He purposefully disagreed with me in class, even when he knew I was right, he would step on the heels of my shoes in the hallway to try and get me to trip, and he would just stare at me until it was obvious that I wasn't focusing on anything besides how much I hated when he stared at me. I knew his only goal was to make me angry, however, so I resolved to not give him the satisfaction, which of course made him only more determined.

I did my best to remain impassive until Parent-Teacher night. My mother had come home early that week and had decided she wanted to go. Surprisingly. I had assumed that we wouldn't go because I couldn't remember the last time my parents had attended one of those for me. As a matter of fact, I was having trouble remembering the last time my parents even cared about my schoolwork beyond checking to make sure I didn't drop below a 95 in any class. Regardless, there I was on a Thursday night at school listening to my teacher lecture. It was a Parent-Teacher night so I had no idea why my parents insisted I, a student, needed to be there. They claimed that if they had to go then I did too. The only issue with that logic was that they did not, in fact, have to go. Glancing around the room, I confirmed my suspicions. There was only a handful of kids there, none of which I recognized but all looking as disgruntled as I felt. Every other parent had acknowledged the implicit rule of Parent-Teacher night: "Don't bring your kids to school when they don't have to be there."

Leaning back in my desk, I closed my eyes and accepted that the next two hours of my life were just going to be that boring. I got approximately two minutes to myself before I felt someone flick the back of my head. I spun around fully planning to glare at whoever was sitting behind me and cause a huge scene. I really wasn't in the mood to deal with anyone's antics. What I wasn't expecting, however, was for Draco to be sitting behind me with a broad grin. He was there with a slender, blonde woman, who I assumed was his mother, and looked absolutely pleased with our current situation.

"What are you doing here?" I hissed, keeping my voice down so that my mother didn't notice and ask me all kinds of questions about who he was.

"Parent-Teacher night," he replied. "Duh."

Grabbing my mom's arm, I got up out of my desk. "Let's go to my next class, there's a lot of people left for you to meet."

"Okay, is something wrong?" she managed to get out before I dragged her out of the room.

We continued going from classroom to classroom and it didn't take me long to realize that Draco was purposefully following me. Especially after I noticed him walk into my Arithmetic class, which, as I previously mentioned, he did not take. I groaned and walked towards him. Grabbing his hand, I pulled him to a corner of the room and immediately dropped his hand when I noticed his smug smile.

"Get out."

"Excuse me?"

"I was here first."

"I'm not denying that. But a classroom is able to fit more than one person, even if your hair does take up an alarmingly large amount of space."

"My mother is here."

"What a coincidence, so is mine. Maybe we should introduce them," he moved to get his mom's attention, leading to me grabbing his hand and bringing his attention back to me.

I looked around and noticed that my own mother was looking for me. "I'd rather neither of my parents knew specific details about my life at school. Meet me in the hallway in a few minutes."

My mom had spotted me at that point, so I walked back over to her and let her know that I was going to go get a drink of water from the fountain in the hall. As soon as I left the classroom, I spun around and was face to face with Draco.

"What do you _want_ from me?" I shouted angrily. "You constantly nitpick at the things that I do during class, you make fun of my hair and my glasses all the time, and you've been following me around for the past hour! What's the fucking point of it?"

He just grinned at me. "There we go."

"What?"

"You always act like you're so quiet and friendly towards everyone."

"Maybe I'm just a nice person."

"But I annoy you and this is how you want to react to me."

"So what?"

"Why do you let me get away with it? Why don't you ever say anything? If I'm being a dick to you, then you should be one back. You're the only person I know who's intelligent enough not to bore me, but instead of being yourself, you just prefer not to cause problems and deal with what life does to you. I wouldn't think about it at all though if it wasn't for the fact that I know that's not you."

For once, I didn't see a smirk or a grin on his face. He was just looking at me like it genuinely bothered him that I wasn't being myself.

"First of all, how would you know anything about me? Second, assuming that anything you said was right," it was spot on actually, "why do you even care?"

He shrugged. "I don't know, I just want to know you. You're different."

There it was again. When he called me different it didn't feel like an insult, but it made me nervous. It bothered me that he always seemed to be listening and paying attention to me when I didn't think he was. I had grown used to not being noticed and feeling like I came second to everyone else, so it was unsettling when he singled me out like this.

"I have to go," I said quietly. I turned to walk away, leaving him standing in the hallway. Before I reached the door, something made me stop and look back at him. "I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Definitely."

* * *

**Let me know what you think! I could use a Beta so if anyone is interested please message me!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I don't own any of the characters (: only the plot! Enjoy!**

* * *

The next couple of months were filled with intense disagreements. Our conversation on Parent-Teacher night had changed our dynamic. We would argue so much that people either thought we hated each other, or we were in love with each other. Our "discussions," to put it lightly, were filled with sarcastic quips and would often end with one of us, usually me, shouting at the other for being so stupid. And just when I would think that this is the day that I would finally kill the boy, he would say something so idiotic or amusing and then shoot me that boyish grin instead of his smirk and all I was able to do was laugh or smile in return.

Throughout these months, I had learned that Draco was such an attention whore. He would patiently sit by me and watch as I worked up to a point before-

"Hermioninnyyyy." Speak of the devil.

"What?" I bit out. Normally, I would be more amused. But my patience was at an all-time low today after I had gone through another sleepless night of listening to my parents and sister fight. Plus, he kept taking my pencils in an attempt to prevent me from working.

"I'm bored."

"There's an assignment on the board."

"You want me to solve my boredom by working?"

I sighed before putting my pencil down and turning to him. "That seems like the only thing you've never tried."

We were currently sitting in study hall for Arithmetic after school. Draco, Luna and I had become tutors in this subject so we would spend our Tuesday afternoons at school for one hour helping the teacher create assignments and teach other students. Since Draco was in Advanced Arithmetic, he was the head tutor and was usually allowed to do whatever he wanted. He made it a point to always sit next to or in front of me. I assumed it was purely to annoy the hell out of me, which had lately become his favorite past time. Luna, sitting next to me, stifled a giggle at my response and Draco glared at me before a smirk slowly made its way across his lips.

"I just want to spend quality time with my best friend," he drawled before moving to hug me and god only knows what else. I immediately shot up out of my chair and glared back at him. I did not like being touched and especially not by him when he was trying to hug me. It often led to things like him trying to ruffle my hair, which would then make me want to punch him in the face.

"Touch me and I will break your arm."

"I'd like to see you try."

"Don't tempt me."

"Hermione, have you finished your work yet?" I turned around as Ms. Vector, our Arithmetic teacher, walked towards me. She was much taller than me and was probably the palest person I had ever seen. She had extremely long, light blonde hair that was pretty much the exact same color of her skin tone, giving her an overall yellow, sickly appearance.

"Well, no," I said sheepishly, "but Draco -"

"Then get back to work and let Draco do his work," she said, not quite snapping at me but with a level of irritation that was completely unwarranted. I turned and glared at Draco, who grinned happily at me. He was no doubt pleased that he had escaped trouble for the millionth time. I rolled my eyes before going back to my worksheet.

It wasn't long until I felt someone kick my foot. I yelped and my head shot up from my worksheet to glare at the smug boy in front of me. This had also become an increasingly common game with him. To a bystander it probably looked like we were two teenagers playing footsie whenever this happened, but no. This was war. Draco had been playing soccer since he was three years old. As a result, when he kicked, it fucking hurt. The first time he had invaded the space under my desk, he had been gentle, but I had already been annoyed at him for stealing my pencils earlier that day and when it became obvious that he wasn't going to move his feet, I had kicked him in the shin as hard as I could. From that day on, it had become a continuous battle to see who could acquire the most amount of space for their feet. I know it must not seem like an important issue, but to me this was about more than personal space. It was about pride and about wiping that stupid smirk off his face every time I kicked him unexpectedly.

"_Stop _it," I hissed at him. "You've already gotten me in trouble today."

"You know you love me."

"I very much do _not_ love you and I'm _not_ doing this today."

He grinned before placing his feet directly on top of mine under my desk.

I narrowed my eyes. "Move your feet."

"Nope."

"Draco."

"Yes, dear?"

"Move your damn feet."

"I will not."

"If you don't move your feet, I am not responsible for what happens next."

"Is that a promise?" He winked at me. It was at that point that I absolutely lost it and what followed was World War III, if a war involved feet and desks and ended in a draw after I had accidentally hit the metal bar of his desk instead of his leg.

"Let's call it a tie," Draco said. His eyes followed me as I bent down to check on my foot, which I was having mild difficulty moving. These fights normally ended in a tie because I refused to give up and I knew that no matter how hard I kicked him; he had felt worse on the soccer field.

"I'm fine," I snapped back. He just rolled his eyes before finally returning to his work. I muttered a string of profanity under my breath, much to his amusement, before I finally settled down and continued my own work.

"Okay guys, pencils down," Ms. Vector called all of us to attention. "I have the results from our last Arithmetic exam, which I know a lot of you are excited to find out about."

Luna and I looked at each other nervously. Both of us were anxious to find out how we had done because if we got qualifying scores then we would be entered in a competition at Beauxbatons Academy, which would mean that we would be able to take a week off of school and go to France. Also, school pride and all that.

"I will leave the results up here," Mrs. Vector gestured to the front of the room by the door. "Good luck, all of you!"

With that a large group of students flocked to the little piece of paper pinned up by the door. Luna and I decided to wisely wait until the crowd had dispersed before checking our results. Once we managed to reach the door, we were delighted to find out that we had both qualified for the trip. Luna squealed happily and hugged me spinning us around as we laughed.

"I guess we'll be competing against each other," a voice came from next to my shoulder. I froze and scanned the results one more time. I didn't even think he would be allowed to enter the competition but sure enough, there it was in the same small print as my name: _Draco Malfoy. _"Don't worry, I'll try not to show you up too badly."

"You little bitc- " before I could even finish that sentence he was out the door and gone, wisely deciding that he had pissed me off enough for the day. I sighed and turned to Luna, who was giving me a knowing look. "What? He's just really annoying. Imagine dealing with him every time you come to school."

"Mhhm. That would get annoying," she responded in a way that let me know she didn't believe a word I said. I rolled my eyes and tried to hide the fact that I was excited at the idea of going to France with him. It bothered me that I wasn't completely mortified by the idea. _He's just my friend and sometimes I enjoy hanging out with him_. _That's all it is_. I ignored the smaller voice in my head that was telling me it could be something more.

* * *

Our arguments continued to escalate in intensity and frequency to the point where we were often shouting at each other in the middle of class. He, of course, never got in trouble while I usually did.

One day, after a particularly heated argument, I was angrily shoving papers into my book bag and cursing his name to hell and back. Part of me was just amused though. It was almost admirable how talented Draco was at getting under my skin to the point where I was completely uncomposed. I allowed myself a small chuckle as I recalled the details of our most recent argument and closed the bag before getting ready to leave.

"Hey, wait up!" I turned as a tall, redhead walked towards me.

"Um, hello?" I asked.

"Let's walk to our next class together."

"… Okay. You're Ginny right?"

"Yeah, that's me. And you're Hermione?"

I nodded in affirmation and we continued our journey down the hallway for approximately ten more seconds before she broke the silence.

"You and Draco would be cute together."

I immediately tripped over my own feet. Once, I had regained my balance I managed to speak.

"What?" I choked out. I prepared to launch into a tirade asserting that while Draco believed every female near him would fall at his feet, I did not have feelings for him nor would I ever. Before I could, however, Ginny interrupted me.

"Just a thought. We went to elementary school together, so I've known him for a pretty long time," she claimed mischievously.

"Um, good to know."

And with that started a beautiful friendship, in which we constantly meddled in each other's dating lives and supported each other every time our hearts were broken. She quickly became one of my best friends and was one of the only people I confided in about my life at home.

Later that day, I walked down the hallway towards Cross Country practice. It was my last class of the day and after not sleeping at all again last night and starting my period this morning, I was completely exhausted and definitely not a functioning member of society by any means. I barely kept my eyes open as I continued my trek down the hall, hardly even noticing when a certain fair haired boy approached me. Bewildered, I felt a tap on my shoulder and looked to my left, only to see no one there, before glancing to my right and finding Draco walking in step beside me.

"Hey," he said, bumping my shoulder and giving me a weird look. "You feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I mustered up the same smile I'd been giving everyone else today.

"I know you're lying," he said passively as if he was just commenting on the weather. "What class are you going to?"

I wondered whether I should bother denying it before deciding to let it go like he did. "Cross Country practice. What about you?"

"Computer Science."

"You do know that's the other way?"

"I prefer the scenic route." And with that we fell silent. He continued to walk with me until we reached the gym. I turned to say goodbye only to find that he was already walking off with his hands in his pockets. For some reason, I had felt better than I had felt all day.

* * *

Soon afterwards, I found out Draco had his real first girlfriend. The first of many. Her name was Katie Bell and there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. I even considered her to be my friend but for some reason it still stung. When I heard they were dating, I froze and one thing about it bothered me. _He hadn't told me_. We hadn't talked in a couple of weeks, which seemed weird, but for some reason now it made sense. I shook my head trying to force these thoughts out of my head. _Why should he have to tell me?_ I didn't even know if we were friends. Besides, Katie was pretty much what every guy wanted and a good friend. There were definitely worse people for him to date, so I really shouldn't care. _I guess they're a cute couple, if you ignore the fact that she's half his height.__ Honestly, this is good for both of us. He now has a girlfriend to bother and I can focus on finishing all of my work. _I turned back to the paper in front of me and just tried to focus on my essay, trying to ignore the fact that I had plenty of pencils to work with and had been getting all of my work done with time to spare during the past few days.

Class had already started when Draco finally decided to walk in. He was laughing with his friend about something and when he looked up his eyes landed on me. That was probably the first time we had acknowledged each other at all during these past few weeks. He looked at me a little longer before we both turned away back to our conversations with our separate friends. That's just how it was going to be from now on.

* * *

They had broken up. It had been probably a month, maybe even less. I had gotten used to his absence in my life and had settled on pretty much ignoring his presence in our Literature and History classes. But since gossip is the lifeblood of teenagers everywhere, I heard almost immediately when they broke up. She had broken up with him, the when and the why was unclear, but I tried not to care regardless. Whatever weird friendship Draco and I had was gone a long time ago and just because he and Katie broke up did not mean we would ever be talking again.

On the other hand, I kept forgetting how wrong I could be when it came to him.

I jumped when I felt a soft kick on my shin and looked up. There he was, sitting across from me after school during our study hall for Arithmetic, as if he hadn't been sitting on the opposite side of the room for an entire month and avoiding me at pretty much all cost. I just stared at him in absolute shock. He had a book open in front of him so I couldn't see all of his face, but I knew he was trying to avoid looking at me. I thought for a long time about what I should do, noticing that Draco hadn't flipped a page in more than ten minutes. He was waiting.

I sighed, hating myself for not being angrier at him, and gently kicked his shin back. I guess I could swallow my need for an apology if it meant we could be friends again. He immediately put the book down and gave me that grin, which I reluctantly knew I had thought of too many times while he had been gone. We then went back to our familiar routine of him playing with my pencils and watching me work, while I just smiled at his antics and once again tried to focus on math.

* * *

"I am _NOT_ sitting by you!" I shouted at Draco angrily. "I can barely stand sitting next to you after school, once a week, for only an hour during study hall. You really want to risk me sitting by you on a _PLANE_ with no escape all the way to _FRANCE?_"

"I heard you the first time," he said rolling his eyes as our friends watched on in amusement.

"Then stop insisting that I'm sitting by you."

"I want you to sit by me."

"_WHY?_"

"Because you're my best friend."

"I am not. I'm pretty sure I would have to agree to be your best friend."

"Details," he waved his hand as if what I said didn't matter. "We're sitting next to each other."

I just glared at him. We'd been arguing about this for thirty minutes straight at least. "This is not over," I huffed before turning towards the white board and squinting to see the directions through my glasses.

"Hey aren't you applying to get into Advanced Arithmetic next year?" Ginny asked, choosing to distract me from the boy on my other side in order to avoid another argument.

"Yeah, Ms. Vector recommended me for it so I thought I would give it a try. I'm not expecting to get in though."

"Good, you probably won't," Draco said impishly. "You need to actually be smart to get in."

"And you think I'm dumb?"

"Well if the shoe fits."

"I'm going to take that metaphorical shoe and ram it down your throat." My patience was obviously reaching its breaking point.

"Kinky," He smirked. "Regardless, you still won't get in."

"I'm going to make you eat those words."

"I hope you do." And then he gave me a genuine smile, thoroughly confusing me once again. The day I understood Draco Malfoy would be the day I understood what was wrong with humanity. Sighing out of frustration, I turned back to the board and once again tried to make sense of the blurry directions.

"Oh, for fucks sake!" he grabbed my glasses straight off my face and cleaned them on his shirt. "Try them now."

I slowly put the glasses back on. He was right. I could see the directions a little bit better now. "Thanks," I muttered.

"What was that?"

"Don't push it."

* * *

A week later the plane was supposed to leave for France.

"You ready to go?" Luna came up next to me holding her dolphin pillow pet, dressed in pajamas, and in general looking like she was ready for a really long nap.

"Yeah, one second," I looked around one more time for the familiar wide grin and silver eyes I had grown so used to.

"I don't think he's coming," she looked at me sadly. Probably thinking that I was disappointed.

"I'm not waiting for him. Who even needs him?" I shrugged. "At least now I'll be able to get some sleep on the plane and actually enjoy this trip."

And with that I got through security, found Padma and Ginny, and the four of us talked and laughed throughout the entire plane ride. But I couldn't completely ignore the part of me that was still worried about the one person who hadn't made it onto the plane. I spent a lot of that plane ride ironically wishing Draco was there sitting next to me.

* * *

**Sorry it's kind of a short chapter but the trip to France was too long to fit in this one! The next chapter will probably be the end of fourth year and many more characters will be introduced (: If I can get to 10 follows or favorites I'll post the next chapter earlier than I planned!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Here's the next chapter! I don't own the characters, just the plot!**

* * *

France was beautiful to put it simply. It would've been even more beautiful if my parents hadn't insisted on coming along. I could hear them arguing behind me as I made my way through the crowd of tourists in the hotel lobby to Ginny.

"Not that I don't appreciate your parents being here, Hermione," Ginny began, eyeing my parents as they bickered in the corner, "but why are they always acting like they need to keep an eye on you?"

"Their reasoning this time was that I was coming here to drink or do drugs."

"Have you even touched alcohol before?"

"Nope. Try telling them that though. According to them, I'm the trouble child in the family."

"For doing nothing?"

I shrugged. "I don't talk much to them these days. Apparently, that means I'm hiding something."

She gave me a sympathetic look before gesturing widely to the rest of the hotel lobby in front of us.

"Fear not, my darling! We are in Paris, surrounded by hot, French boys, beautiful architecture and croissants!"

"I do like croissants."

Ginny rolled her eyes and lowered her arm. "Yes, I know you have a weird obsession with bread. My point though is that it's our last day in France so let's enjoy ourselves a bit while your parents have to stay at the hotel with Ms. Vector and sort through the competition results."

The only way my parents had been allowed to come on the trip was as volunteers. So here they were, pretending to care about how I had done in a contest when I knew that the only reason they were in France was to keep an eye on me. It was suffocating. Part of me was glad that Draco had missed the trip due to an unfortunately timed fever because at least now I didn't have to worry about him meeting my mom and dad.

"Alright, let's go," I said and, ignoring the worried looks from my parents, Ginny and I joined Luna and Padma at the entrance to the hotel before making our way through the streets of Paris.

The four of us visited the Eiffel Tower, the Arc de Triomphe and the Louvre and took several pictures at each location while Padma recited to us the history behind each building. Towards the end of the day, we decided to stop at a little French pastry shop before heading back to the hotel. It was mainly for my benefit, but I could tell the girls enjoyed it there as well. Immediately after entering the little, brown café, my nose was overwhelmed by the mingled scent of coffee, tea and fresh baked bread. The inside of the store was painted in shades of brown and pink with a door leading out to a patio decorated with white, metal furniture and small pink and white flowers. After I grabbed my pastries and the girls grabbed their cups of tea, we decided to settle into one of the tables out on the patio. It was beautiful weather to sit outside and enjoy the scenery. I pushed my sunglasses onto the top of my head and closed my eyes before leaning back in my chair, enjoying the feeling of the sunlight on my skin.

Before we had left for France, I had decided to replace my glasses with contacts. While I enjoyed not having to constantly push my glasses up the bridge of my nose, the contacts tended to hurt my eyes after awhile because I had accidentally been given the wrong prescription and didn't have enough time to get new ones before we had left America. So, I would often close my eyes when I could to prevent myself from getting a headache.

"Hermione, there's a hot, French boy staring at you," Ginny hissed excitedly.

"I'm not gonna lie. He is pretty hot," agreed Luna.

I opened one eye to look at the three girls in front of me. "As much as I appreciate the two of you trying to set me up with a boy from another country, I'm going to have to pass. Now I have a headache, so let's just ignore any French boys and focus on eating our food and drinking your tea." I closed my eyes again and took a deep, relaxing breath.

"Hermione, he's coming over here now," Padma said, grinning widely.

My eyes shot open as I turned to look at the dark-skinned, raven haired girl. "No, I don't want to socialize. I'm barely dealing with you three as it is. Make him go away."

"Ladies," came a deep voice from my right.

I spun around and almost fell out of my chair at the proximity of the tall boy next to me. He had olive colored skin, black hair and had a lean runner's build. He also had deep green eyes that were looking directly at me, despite the fact that he had addressed the whole table.

"Well, hello handsome," Ginny practically purred, while Padma elbowed her. "_What?_"

The boy grinned at Ginny before turning back to me.

"I'm Blaise," he said holding out his hand for me to shake.

"You're not French," was all that came out of my mouth as I shook his hand.

"What she means," Luna interceded, "is that her name is Hermione." She shot me a look that told me to pull myself together.

"Yeah, that's what I meant."

He chuckled. "No worries. You're right though, I'm not French. Mostly Italian, but I grew up in America, which is where I assume all you lovely ladies came from."

"That's right! I'm Ginny, this is Padma, and that's Luna. Would you like to join us?"

I glared at Ginny, silently telling her that if she didn't get the strange Italian boy away from me, she would pay. She simply gave me a dazzling, oblivious smile as Blaise Zabini accepted her invitation and sat down to join us, ordering himself a coffee.

"Can I get you anything?" he asked, noticing that I didn't have a drink in front of me.

"I'm good. I don't really like coffee or tea." This time Padma elbowed me. "I mean, thanks for offering." I rubbed my side and turned my glare on her.

We all continued to chat until the sun began to set and it was time to head back to the hotel. Blaise offered to walk us and he and I quickly fell behind the others as we became focused on exchanging stories. I actually really enjoyed talking to him and I no longer considered him a stranger. He had told me all about his stepfather and mother, as well as his two younger half siblings, and I told him all about my sister and parents. I felt weirdly relaxed and like I was interesting, which made it very easy to tell him about pretty much every part of my life. Once we finally reached the hotel, about fifteen minutes after Ginny, Luna and Padma probably had, I turned to him to thank him for walking me back and to say goodbye.

"You said you go to Hogwarts right?" Blaise said, before I opened my mouth.

"Right. Why?"

"I used to go there for like a month three years ago. I'm supposed to go back next semester for my fifth year."

"Really?" I said surprised. "How come you didn't mention that before?"

"I didn't know if I actually would. I just started getting used to things here. But I think I could manage it if I knew you were at Hogwarts too," he claimed, grinning and leaning closer.

For a second, I wondered if he was going to kiss me. With the soft yellow glow from the streetlamp highlighting his features and the light from the stars reflected in his eyes, it seemed like it was the perfect scenario for a first kiss. However, as he got closer, a pair of silver eyes flashed through my mind and I quickly put up my hand to stop the boy from getting any closer, feeling guilty for some reason. Blaise didn't miss a step and instead grabbed my wrist, placing a chaste kiss on the back of my palm.

"I'll see you next year, maybe?" he winked before turning away from the hotel and heading home, not waiting for my response.

I had absolutely no idea how to process what had just happened. _Why didn't I just let Blaise kiss me?_ I entered the hotel and made my way to the room I shared with Ginny, Luna and Padma, fully intending to tell them everything that had happened outside of the hotel. However, the scene before me once I opened the door quickly put a stop to that plan.

Ginny was almost passed out drunk on the crimson couch in the common area with Luna fretting in the background and Padma doing her best to move Ginny into an upright position.

"I've literally been gone for less than thirty minutes," I said angrily, running over to Ginny and helping Padma move her into the bathroom in case she threw up. "Why is this even happening and how?"

"Padma and I went downstairs to get some more towels and when we came back upstairs she had already started drinking and we couldn't stop her for awhile and now she's drunk!" Luna cried.

All of us knew Ginny had started drinking last year and that something had really been bothering her lately, but none of us had wanted to force her to tell us. I sighed, knowing that it was time to get to the bottom of what had been wrong with her.

"Honey," I said gently, pulling her hair back from her face. She wouldn't look at me and kept her gaze set on the yellow faded tiles of the bathroom floor. "You need to tell us what's going on."

Ginny turned her tearstained face towards me. I didn't know exactly when she had started crying, but it hurt to see someone who was usually so playful in so much pain.

"You guys wouldn't understand," she whispered softly. "You can't understand what it feels like for your parents to want you to be someone you're not. I'm terrified that if they ever found out who I actually am, they would never forgive me."

I stared at her in shock. "Ginny, how many times have I called you, crying about how my parents don't even see me? And when they do, it's to criticize me for not being a carbon copy of my sister? I'm not going to say I understand exactly what you're going through, mainly because I don't even know what it is, but we all have shit that we're dealing with. So, we definitely get it. But, honey, you can't keep doing this to yourself. We need to know why you've been so unhappy."

"What if you guys look at me differently after I tell you?"

"Ginny, nothing would ever make us look at you differently. But there are only two ways you're getting out of this bathroom. You can either tell us or you can get out over my dead body," Padma said firmly.

She took a deep breath and looked at each of us before whispering: "I'm bi."

There was a brief moment of silence in the small bathroom.

_SMACK._

"_OW!_ What the fuck was that for?!" Ginny shouted, glaring up at Padma and looking more like her old self after being suddenly whacked in the arm.

"You actually thought we would care whether or not you were straight? Ginny we love you no matter what. That means we would love you if you were straight, lesbian, or whatever else! Hell, we would probably still love you even if you killed someone!"

"Please don't though," I interrupted quickly.

"_My point is,_" Padma continued, "we love you. And if you decide to tell your parents, we are here for you. You're never going to lose your family though because we're also part of your family."

Ginny gave us all a watery smile. "You really mean that?"

"Yeah," Luna chimed in softly. "Just please don't drink so much anymore?"

Ginny nodded fervently. "I won't. Thanks you, guys, for taking care of me."

"What are friends for?" I shrugged, before helping her to her feet and getting her changed into a set of plaid pajamas from the trunk at the foot of her twin-sized bed. Padma settled into the matching bed across the room, before I returned to the duplicate room that I shared with Luna on the other side of the common area.

It had been a long night, filled with many more important things than Blaise, leading to me completely forgetting about him and our almost kiss.

* * *

After we returned from France the next morning, our lives began to settle down. Ginny was now openly bisexual at school and she even had a girlfriend named Mallory. I didn't know her well because she was a sixth year, but she seemed very nice and made Ginny happy so that's all that mattered.

On the other hand, Draco and I experienced little change in our relationship. We continued to argue and then ignored each other when he got another girlfriend, however, once they broke up, we went back to arguing. Our lives continued to be a heated competition, but we both knew we were joking with each other. When we teased and called each other names, it was understood that there was no malice behind it.

I was also spending most of my time after school nowadays at Interact Club. This club was a community service organization that my sister had initially introduced me to, but that I had really grown to enjoy being in. I was currently vice president of the club and had plans on running for president the following year, which was a goal all of my friends were supportive of. Because of that, I spent almost all of my free time at charity events or fundraisers for Interact and Draco spent his time complaining that I didn't have time for him.

"Why are you always at Interass," he whined, walking me to the club meeting on the third floor of the school.

"Interact," I corrected him automatically. "Because I enjoy the work the group does, and I feel like I'm doing something important. Plus, it's not a bad extracurricular to put on an application for college." Once we reached the door, I turned to face him. "I can't just rely on sports and my family's money to get into a good college like you."

"I do more than that."

I looked up at him and saw a little bit of hurt in his eyes. Feeling a twinge of guilt, I prepared myself to apologize. I wasn't really mad at him, I was more mad at my parents for keeping me awake last night with their arguing, resulting in me having to go after school for Cross Country practice and this club meeting instead of before school because they had been too tired to wake up early. Now, I would have to stay up late for what felt like the tenth night in a row studying for a major exam tomorrow since I would be lucky to be home by six and would probably only get the chance to study by eight. If anything, Draco had been unnaturally nice to me today. He had waited after finishing soccer practice for me to shower and change out of my running clothes so that he could walk me to the Interact classroom.

Besides none of the stuff I had said about him was completely true. He worked hard to be captain of the soccer team as a fourth year and was really involved in schoolwork and extracurriculars. Draco's pride made it so that he always made sure he earned the things he received. Half the time, he wouldn't even tell people his last name so that teachers and students wouldn't associate him with his parents and all of his accomplished siblings.

I sighed and nudged his foot with mine to bring his attention back to me.

"I know, I'm sorry. You know I didn't mean it."

Immediately, all was forgiven as he smiled brightly down at me. His eyes quickly darkened with worry though as he took a step closer to me, examining my face.

"You haven't been getting enough sleep."

"Yeah, I have," I turned away, knowing that he would be able to tell I was lying.

He grabbed my hand and gently turned me back towards him, tilting my chin up and looking at me intently. He was unbearably close, to the point where I could see the little flecks of blue in his eyes and smell his cologne. I felt like I had stopped breathing for a moment.

"No, you haven't. You look like shit."

And just like that, the spell was broken.

"Gee, thanks," I snapped, stepping away from him.

"Well the contacts really emphasize the bags under your eyes."

"Yeah, I get it."

"At least when you had glasses you could hide them a bit better."

"Uh huh."

"And you're breaking out _everywhere."_

_"Malfoy!_"

He smirked, knowing he had successfully irritated me.

"Try to get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yeah, whatever," I muttered, finally heading into the classroom.

I quickly scanned the room before my eyes landed on a table where a tall, ginger boy and a slightly shorter one with black hair and glasses had already taken two seats. I immediately made my way over to them.

"Hi Harry!" I greeted, taking my seat next to him. "Ronald," I grinned at him, knowing he hated when I called him that.

"Was that Draco I saw kissing you goodbye?" Ron asked smugly, watching as my grin was immediately replaced by a glare. "I was wondering where he disappeared to after soccer."

"Don't spread rumors. And he was just waiting so he could annoy me for a bit after practice."

"If you say so," he sang mockingly before turning to the tall, blonde who gracefully sank into the seat next to him.

Lavender Brown shot me a bright grin and began talking to Ron, greeting him happily. Lavender and I had become close this year, but something about her unsettled me. I didn't like how it felt like she was constantly judging and feeling superior to me. There were some trust issues there between me and her, but I decided to just ignore them in favor of keeping the peace.

_They definitely like each other._ I though to myself as I watched Ron shamelessly flirt with the pretty girl in front of me.

"I don't trust her," Ginny voiced my thoughts as she dropped herself into the chair next to me, with a lot less grace in comparison to Lavender.

"Your brother seems to."

"We already know he's as dumb as a brick."

Ron and Ginny were twins, with Ron being slightly older than Ginny by a couple of minutes. Ginny loved her brother to death but would also pretend for as long as she could that they weren't siblings since he was overprotective of her. In fact, I hadn't known that the two of them were siblings until about a month after I had met Ginny and ran into him at her house.

"Well if they start dating you're going to be seeing a lot more of her."

Ginny scrunched up her face as if the idea physically repulsed her.

"Oh god, please no. Speaking of relationships though," she grinned, spinning around in her chair to devote all of her attention to me, "word is that Harry over there has a huge thing for you. Apparently, he's liked you since the beginning of the year."

I glared at her, warning her to keep her voice down before surveying the boy next to me. Harry was cute, in a boy-next-door type of way. I knew that many people liked him, but I, unfortunately, did not.

"I'm pretty sure that's just a rumor," I said, hopefully. "It doesn't matter anyway because I don't have feelings for him. He's just my good friend."

"I see. Does that have anything to do with a certain blonde, with creepy, silver eyes?"

"_No._ It has nothing to do with him. I'm not even positive he's my friend."

"If you say so," she said in an eerily similar manner as her brother. "If you did like Draco though, it would be the most epic love triangle. Harry would be in love with you, Cho Chang would be in love with him, and you would be in love with Draco."

"Doesn't that make a square?"

Her eyes widened. "_That's even better!_"

* * *

After the club meeting, I found myself alone with Harry as we walked towards the parking lots in the back of Hogwarts, where our parents would pick us up. It was nearing 6:30 because the president had been late starting the meeting. I could practically feel my body wanting to shut down on itself out of exhaustion. I was operating purely on autopilot at this point, so I almost didn't notice when Harry laid a hand on my arm and started speaking to me.

"Do you have a minute to talk before you go?"

I checked the time on my phone. "Yeah, I have a little bit, I guess. Something wrong?"

"No, nothing's wrong," if I had been more attentive, I probably would have noticed how he didn't meet my eyes and kept fidgeting with his hands.

"We've been friends for awhile now and I just think you're really great. We just get along so well and you're so funny and smart and…"

I felt my eyes beginning to close. _Pay attention! Don't be rude. My eyes really hurt though and I'm so tired. Doesn't matter! Just focus on him. _

"What I'm trying to tell you, is that I like you," he blurted out in a rush.

"I like you too," I said instinctively. At that point, my brain finally caught up with my mouth. "Oh, but like, not like that."

The hopeful look on his face immediately fell and I cursed myself for being so idiotic.

"Oh."

"I'm really sorry. You're really nice and sweet, but we're just so great as friends and I'm not trying to date anyone right now," I weakly smiled. _How cliché. I'm basically telling him it's not you it's me. _I winced internally at that realization.

"No, it's fine. I totally get it," Harry offered up a half-hearted smile.

"Friends?" _Yes, because asking to be just friends definitely fixes things and doesn't make it worse._

"Of course," Harry gave me an actual grin then. "Stop beating yourself up over it. I'm a big boy and our friendship is always more important to me."

I breathed a sigh of relief and gave him a hug, apologizing once again, though he insisted I didn't have to. When we finally parted ways, I knew it would be mildly uncomfortable between us for a while, but overall, we would remain as close as we had always been.

"How was school?" my father asked as I got into the front seat of the car before pulling out his phone and making a business call, not listening to my answer.

"Good, I guess," I told no one in particular as my dad just nodded at me and continued speaking to whoever was on the opposite end of the call.

* * *

Normally, I looked forward to getting a break from studying and just school in general. However, with things the way they were at home, I really did not want to have to go back to having no escape from the screaming matches taking place between my family members. I was honestly dreading the last day of school. Unfortunately for me, because I didn't want school to end, it seemed to end that much faster.

_Ring, ring, ring._

There it was. The bell dismissing us for the day and officially announcing the start of summer vacation. I walked out of the doors with my friends and waited for my dad to come and pick me up. I was so distracted by my attempts to figure out how to best spend time with my family this summer while simultaneously avoiding them that I didn't even realize Ginny had walked up to me until she had started jabbering.

"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. _I cannot do this._"

After a moment spent trying to figure out what the hell she was talking about, I remembered that she had decided to tell her parents and other siblings she was bisexual because her and Mallory were getting more serious. Ron obviously knew since he went to school with us, but he had kept it to himself out of respect for Ginny. I turned to face her, grabbing her shoulders.

"Do you know who you are?" I began, shaking her a little as I spoke. "You are Ginevra Molly fucking Weasley. Do you know what that means?"

"That my parents hate me and that's why my name is Ginevra?"

"Possibly. But it also means that you are the most confident, sarcastic, amazing woman I know. You can intimidate every single person at Hogwarts easily, including the teachers, and you don't let anyone tell you who you are. _You _tell _them_. You can do this because this is who you are."

Ginny grinned at me and nodded as Ron, Harry and Draco approached the two of us.

"You ready to go Gin?" Ron asked.

She took a deep breath and hugged me tightly. "Yeah, I'm ready. You better call me over the break Hermione! Don't forget!"

"I won't."

Squeezing my hand one more time, she gave me enough space to let Ron hug me goodbye before heading down the street to where Mrs. Weasley's car was parked waiting for both of them.

"I should get going too," Harry said. "I'll see you later, man. Bye Hermione."

He gave me a sweet smile and hugged me tightly before leaving the two of us alone.

"You sure nothing happened between you two?" Draco asked, eyeing the back of Harry's head suspiciously as he walked away.

I rolled my eyes. Draco had cornered me in the hallway a couple of weeks ago and demanded I tell him every detail about mine and Harry's nonexistent relationship. Once I had reassured him that nothing was going on, he had muttered something about me being too trusting for my own good and not worrying about other people's intentions enough before stalking off.

"Yes, I told you multiple times. Not that it's any of your business."

"Yeah, yeah."

He finally broke his one-sided staring contest to face me.

"Have a good summer stupid," he said, before handing me back my yearbook.

I didn't remember ever giving him it to sign. As a matter of fact, I remembered specifically telling him not to sign it because I was pretty sure he'd draw a dick in it.

"I'll see you next year." He then walked off towards his car as well with his bag over his shoulder and hands in his pockets.

My eyes followed him for a little longer as I thought about how he hadn't asked me if he would see me next year, but had instead told me as if it was something he was completely sure about. It was a big school with countless students. There was really no guarantee we would see each other unless he wanted to. I opened the yearbook he had put into my hands and flipped through the pages until I found his signature. In large, obnoxious handwriting he had spelled out his name in all caps so that it covered Harry's signature. I rolled my eyes and smiled at his childishness, and then I realized he had called me stupid right before he left. I spun around fully intent on calling him back and yelling at him only to find that he'd already disappeared.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Please follow/favorite and let me know what you think! (:**


	4. Chapter 4

**Here's chapter 4! I only own the plot, none of the characters or the setting. Also I made Pansy blonde in this story, but I do know she's not actually blonde.**

* * *

Fifth year at Hogwarts could only be described as a complete mess. The start of the school year accompanied most of us turning sixteen and a whole new set of problems.

My summer had not been the best, but it also wasn't the worst. My parents had gone from screaming at my sister to loudly arguing with her about college. Whenever they talked about college, I was expected to be quiet because my sister was going through a lot. She was always going through a lot. According to my parents, I was never going through anything.

There had been a change in me over the summer. Since I spent most of it hiding away in my room, which only made my parents angrier with me, I had become more withdrawn. I couldn't focus like I used to. I stopped reading and I usually just watched TV all day because it was too difficult to concentrate long enough to get through a book. It felt like my head was stuffed with cotton most of the time, leading to a constant heavy feeling and multiple headaches. I was always stressed about everything that was going on with my family and thinking about all the things that could go wrong. The only way I managed to cope was by doing my best to completely ignore my thoughts. However, no matter how hard I tried, all of those worries were always in the back of my mind.

I, grudgingly, admit that I also found myself missing Draco. A lot. I missed how when I was with him, the tight feeling in my chest whenever I was stressed would suddenly disappear. He had an unnatural ability to take my mind off everything bothering me, whether it was by infuriating me or by making me laugh. Luckily, it was time to go back to school.

During Chemistry on our first day of class was when I finally saw him. Draco was late, as usual, and there was one empty chair left next to me. I broke into a smile when he entered the room, expecting him to immediately move towards the seat next to me and ask about my summer. My smile quickly fell when his eyes met mine for only a moment before he looked around and dragged a chair in the corner to the table where a few of his friends were sitting and sat down with them.

I watched him get situated, wondering why he hadn't even looked at me as if he knew me. He definitely recognized me, but there hadn't been a hint of his smirk anywhere on his face. It was like I was just any other classmate. I shrugged and chose to believe that he just wanted to sit by his friends instead of me and did my best to ignore the slight sting I felt in my chest. I couldn't shake the idea that something was wrong. Maybe it was because when he looked at me I didn't see any of the warmth I was used to, instead his eyes were just empty.

"Hey, how was your summer?" Ginny slid into the rejected seat next to me. She followed my gaze until hers also landed on Draco laughing with his friends. "Did he say anything? Like hi, I missed you or I've been in love with you since the moment I met you?"

I chose to ignore her last question for obvious reasons.

"My summer was fine, thanks for asking. And he said absolutely nothing. He looked at me, saw the empty seat next to me and then got a random chair from the corner and dragged it over there."

I watched him laugh again at one of his friend's jokes and noticed that it seemed more strained than I remembered, as if he didn't really mean it.

"Does something seem off to you?"

"Maybe. It's weird that he passed up an opportunity to annoy you."

"That's true. But I was thinking that something seems wrong with him. He's different."

"Puberty?" she grinned before looking at him again. "Our boy really filled out this summer. He has a Dorito shape now."

I snickered and turned towards his table too. He was a lot taller than he was last year, the top of my head probably only reached his shoulder now. Ginny was right though; he didn't even look like a teenager anymore. He had always been lean and muscular, but he had gained definition in his arms and his shoulders were a lot broader than they used to be. In fact, I caught many girls near him giggling and staring every time he stretched, which was an obnoxious amount in my opinion.

"Maybe. Do you think he's mad at me for something?"

"Well did you do something?"

"How could I have? I haven't talked to him in two months."

"Maybe that's it then. He could've just missed you."

"He didn't give me his number before we left. How was I supposed to talk to him?"

"Smoke signals."

I rolled my eyes before turning back to our table and joining Lavender and Hannah Abbott's conversation about what everyone had been up to over the summer. Draco and I were probably fine and maybe we'd talk later in the day.

* * *

Advanced Arithmetic, Level II with Mrs. Sprout was mine and Ginny's next class. From the moment you walked into her room, Mrs. Sprout's bubbly personality was extremely obvious. She greeted everyone with a huge smile, a handshake, and a piece of candy. There were countless potted plants adorning her brightly lit room and little knick-knacks, which all revolved around the concept of plants and how much she loved them, covered her desk in the corner.

"She's evil," Ginny whispered, eyeing her candy and the perky blonde teacher suspiciously as we took our seats.

"Because?"

"No one is that happy to be here. What if she's poisoning us?"

I just looked at her for a moment. "With Jolly Ranchers?"

"I'm almost positive that it's possible."

I rolled my eyes before unwrapping the cherry flavored candy and popping it into my mouth.

"If I'm dead by the end of the class period you can go ahead and say 'I told you so' at my funeral."

Satisfied with that outcome, Ginny turned back around to get her school supplies out of her binder while I continued to watch the students file into the classroom. I had become quieter over the summer. There had just been so much noise in my house that I didn't feel like I needed to, and I also didn't want to, contribute to it. I preferred to just observe the people around me instead of talking nowadays.

I knew pretty much every student that walked in and whenever I spotted one that I was friends with, I would smile and wave. It wasn't long before Draco walked in. Our eyes met again and this time I saw surprise and something that almost resembled pride in his eyes. Ginny, Padma, and I had received our entrance exam results over the summer and the three of us had done very well. Luna, unfortunately, had barely missed the qualifying score and wasn't able to enroll herself in the course. She had remained optimistic though and said that she would try again for our sixth year.

I had completely forgotten that Draco would be in this class and hadn't told him the results from my exam since I hadn't seen him at all over the summer. That explained why he was surprised, but I had no idea why he was proud. Especially after he dropped all eye contact with me and moved towards the back of the room, as far away as possible.

I knew he was sitting somewhere directly behind me. I was glad he wasn't in front of me because I knew I wouldn't be able to focus at all, but, on the other hand, I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head. It was inexplicable how I knew, but there was no doubt in my mind that he was watching what I did. I subtly turned my head when I bent down to pick up a pencil from off the floor and confirmed my paranoia when I saw his eyes fixed on me. It still unnerved me how I couldn't tell what he was thinking at all.

_Why is he still looking at me?_ I remembered asking myself that question when we met last year too, but this was different. He wasn't amused or happy, he was just impassive.

"Just ignore him," Ginny said frowning. "Men ain't shit."

"He's sixteen. I don't know if that qualifies as a man."

"Does he have a penis?"

"I would assume so."

"Then he qualifies. And even if he's not one yet, then he will be soon."

I guess you couldn't argue with that logic. Mrs. Sprout chose that moment to continue class, distracting me from Draco and directing my attention towards Ginny's intense suspicion of one of the nicest women on the planet.

"She wants to kill us in our sleep."

"I think she actually said she wants to know what we did over the summer."

"That's called gathering information on your target."

I paused. "Didn't you ask me what I did over the summer during our last class?"

"Exactly. Who says I'm not going to kill you?"

"… Well I would hope you'd say that?"

"We'll see," she shrugged before returning her concentration to our teacher. I tried to follow her example, but I couldn't ignore the feeling that every once in a while, a certain blonde-haired boy still had his eyes on me.

* * *

Within the next few months, the reasons behind Draco's behavior became very clear. They were Marcus Flint, Adrian Pucey and Pansy Parkinson. Marcus and Adrian were Draco's new "best friends." They were two sixth years who played soccer and football and were also considered popular. I personally had no idea who they were until Draco started hanging around them, nor did I particularly care.

"There he goes again," Ron commented from next to me.

I glanced up to find Draco, Marcus and Adrian walking towards one of the other tables in the courtyard and claiming three seats. Objectively speaking, the three of them made an attractive group. They were all lean and muscular and were constantly trailed by a group of third and fourth years. Marcus and Adrian were both brunettes, making Draco stand out even more to the younger girls.

I immediately looked away when Adrian caught my eye and slowly grinned at me. Something about him made me uncomfortable. Whenever he smiled, I was reminded of a piranha and I really didn't want to know what he was thinking about.

"Have you guys hung out lately?" I asked, mildly curious.

"No. He hasn't talked to me, Harry, Greg or Theo in months. He spends all of his time with those guys and his girlfriend. If you can even call her that."

My head shot up when I heard a high-pitched crying noise, thinking a cat must have just gotten strangled. Unfortunately, I had looked up just in time to see a gorgeous, leggy blonde throw herself onto Draco and plant a huge kiss right on his lips. I ignored the sharp pain I felt at that image and directed my attention back to Ron, who was looking at me like I was a kicked puppy.

"_What?"_

"Pansy's a bitch you know," Ron tried to comfort me.

"I really don't care either way. He's allowed to spend time with whoever he wants."

"You're a lot better than her."

"_Ronald,"_ I glared at him. "I do _not_ care. Malfoy and I weren't even friends to begin with."

"So, he's Malfoy now?"

I could tell that Ron was just concerned about me, as were Harry, Ginny, Luna and Padma, but I didn't want to think about Draco Malfoy anymore than I had to.

"I guess he is," I sighed.

Frustrated with my inability to focus due to the loud squeals and giggles that were coming from Draco's lap across the courtyard, I angrily shoved my homework into my book bag before lying across the bench and placing my head in Ron's lap. Ron, Lavender and I had gotten close over the past few months, but Ron now treated me as if I was his second sister while everyone knew that he was completely in love with Lavender.

"I'm sorry I snapped," I muttered, keeping my eyes close.

"It's fine," he said with a flick to my forehead, "I'm used to you, Ginny and Lavender snapping at me all the time because I'm the best thing that ever happened to you three."

"I don't think Ginny ever got a choice. Speaking of Lavender though, have you asked her out yet?"

"I'm thinking about it."

I opened my eyes and gave him a look that told him to stop bullshitting me.

"I'm just worried about messing stuff up."

"It's worth a try. You've liked her for years."

"No, it's worse than that. I think I'm in love with her now."

"Are you sure about it this time?" I smirked up at him.

Approximately a month ago, when Ron and I had just started to become close, he had called me and confessed his love for me. I had told him I loved him too, but only as a friend. The next day when we saw each other, he had been extremely embarrassed and said he had been high and also only loved me as a friend. Ron had also said that if I told anyone about that conversation, he would kill me in my sleep.

He glared at me before poking me in the side, making me almost fall off of him onto the ground.

"You're not supposed to talk about that ever. And yes, I'm sure."

"Then tell her. You may as well see where it goes. I don't know if she loves you, but I'm pretty sure she likes you a lot."

"I'll think about it."

I rolled my eyes before getting up as the first bell rang, telling us we had five minutes to get to class.

"Whatever you decide to do, I support both of you completely."

"Yeah, I know," he grinned before ruffling my hair and walking off.

I glared at the back of his head before tying my hair up into a messy bun and heading off towards my own class. I knew someone was watching me as I walked away, but I didn't turn back because I didn't want to know if it was Adrian or Draco. At that moment, I didn't know which one of them was worse.

* * *

"Stay away from Draco."

"_Fuck!_" I jumped when I heard the sickly-sweet voice right next to my ear.

I turned away from my desk and Luna in Biology to find myself face to face with Pansy Parkinson and Lavender. I knew that Lavender liked to be popular, so she was friends with Pansy, but this was ridiculous. I would never tell her not to hang out with someone, but coming with Pansy to harass me before class was taking this whole friendship thing a bit too far.

"Um, excuse me?"

"You heard me," Pansy practically snarled.

"I mean, I guess. I'm just not used to someone introducing themselves like that."

She rolled her eyes.

"Just stay away from Draco, Hermione. I know you have some weird thing for him, and I just want you to know, he's never going to want you. You're not his type."

I was honestly shocked. I hadn't talked to Draco in months at that point and I was really just minding my own business in Biology, which I was pretty sure neither of the two girls in front of me took. I glanced at Luna, only to find her looking as surprised as I felt.

"… Okay. I'll humor you for a second. Why do you think that I like Malfoy?"

"Lavender told me," Pansy responded smugly.

My glare immediately landed on Lavender, who was avoiding my eyes. I had been there for Lavender through countless issues with her self-esteem since last year and I had honestly believed that we were pretty close. At least close enough where she wouldn't spread rumors about me. She was also always telling people that we were best friends and about how much she loved me.

It was taking me quite a lot to not deck this bitch right then and there.

"Is that true Lavender?" I bit out through clenched teeth.

"Well yeah," she said, her demeanor completely changing once she looked at Pansy and gained some confidence. "You were always flirting with him last year and in the courtyard earlier today he wouldn't stop staring at you and Ron. You obviously like him a lot and I'm sorry but he's with Pansy now so you should just leave him alone because it's getting kind of pathetic."

I sat there, completely shocked at the level of stupidity in front of me. Opening my mouth, I began to respond only to find that Lavender wasn't done yet.

"I-"

"And Pansy is the head cheerleader and just look at her really. Draco loves girls like her and he told her he loves her just a couple of days ago. It's not surprising at all and I love you, so I don't want to see you get hurt. This is really all for the best. Also, you're kind of a tease anyway so you don't even deserve to be in a relationship with Draco. Especially when you just flirt with people like Ron and Harry right in front of him. What were you even doing with Ron in the courtyard?"

It was right then that I noticed Ginny and Padma were in the classroom. I didn't know if Padma had heard what was happening, but Ginny definitely had. She stalked over to our table and slammed her stuff on her desk before turning to Lavender. I knew Ginny had been waiting for over a year for this moment. It was the moment she finally had an excuse to tell Lavender Brown exactly what she thought of her.

"_What did you say about Hermione?_" she hissed; her eyes narrowed angrily.

"Um, w-well," Lavender stammered, caught off guard by the amount of anger in Ginny's eyes.

A Weasley's temper was known to be unmatched. Ginny had six siblings, each of them with bright red hair and a temper to match her own. Every teacher and student at Hogwarts knew not to get on the bad side of any Weasley.

"_Draco Malfoy_ is a disgusting pig," Ginny began. "And I have complete right to say that because I've known him since I was five. If he can't keep his eyes to himself and spent all of last year being a jackass to Hermione for attention, that's _his_ problem not hers. How dumb are you two anyway? You know, I've heard that one person alone can be pretty stupid, but with teamwork? You're unmatched! There's not a original thought in that gigantic, blonde, ditzy head of yours Lavender! If Harry liked Hermione, then it's not her fucking fault and she doesn't owe Draco anything so if she wants to date Harry, or hell if she wanted to hop on his dick in the middle of the courtyard, there's really nothing you or Draco can say about it! And if you have a stick up your ass about how much time Ron spends with a decent person like Hermione, because she's, oh I don't know, nice to spend time with, then fucking talk to Ron about it instead of just leading him on because you like the attention! And don't even get me started on you having this pug-faced _bitch- _"

"_Alright!_"

I finally managed to interrupt Ginny's rant when I caught the teacher looking at our corner of the room because of how loud she was getting. The last thing I wanted was for anyone else to be involved.

"That's enough," I said, rubbing my forehead and wishing for death instead of the headache I knew was coming. "I didn't like Malfoy last year and I don't like Malfoy now. Regardless of whether or not you believe me, I won't be talking to him ever. So, you're getting what you want and now please leave."

Pansy, still focused on the pug-faced comment from Ginny, just glared at her before turning on her heel and leaving the classroom with her nose in the air. Lavender waited for a moment, fidgeting with her hands and trying to decide whether she should risk speaking.

"I'm-" she finally opened her mouth, only to be interrupted.

"Please leave, Lavender. I'll talk to you later maybe, but just get out." Luna said quietly.

All of us were shocked. Ginny was known for disliking people, and I was probably the next most likely to snap at someone, followed by Padma. Luna never said anything mean to anyone though. She saw getting mad as a waste of time and would prefer to remain impartial in any kind of fight. Her and Lavender had also known each other well for years due to the many art classes they took together, so they were arguably very close.

Lavender was probably the most surprised. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, wanting to say something but too stunned to do so. There was a remarkable similarity between her and a fish. She finally followed in Pansy's footsteps and left without a word.

The four of us sat in awkward silence for a moment as we processed what had just happened and wondered what to say next. Finally, I turned to Ginny.

"Pug-faced?"

"Just think about it for a moment."

"It's pretty spot on actually."

"_See?_ Padma gets it!"

* * *

A week went by after the incident in Biology and it seemed like everything was going back to normal, as long as I ignored Pansy and Lavender's glares every time I passed them in the hallway. By now, our confrontation had spread around the entire school, mixed with rumors that Pansy had slapped me or that Ginny had slapped Lavender.

Ron and Harry both checked on me after finding out what had happened. I just reassured them everything was fine and told Ron that I didn't care if he dated Lavender. I really didn't want to stand in between those two. It was their decision to date and there wasn't a reason that I should be involved.

"Bye guys!" I called to Ron and Harry as they left to go to the locker rooms and get changed for soccer practice.

I made my way over to my maroon Honda CRV. It wasn't expensive like Draco's Ferrari, Marcus' Corvette or Pansy's Porsche, but I loved that car. It had never let me down and it was probably the only thing I owned that I kept immaculate. My car was as spotless as it was the day it was handed down to me once my sister got a new car for graduating from sixth year. I didn't know why she needed a new car for graduating from sixth to seventh year, but I also didn't think about it too much since I got a car out of it.

Unlocking the car, I got in and tried to close the door before I realized it wasn't moving.

"Hermione Granger," a voice that gave me chills purred.

I looked up into the brown eyes of Adrian Pucey. His eyes were so dark they were almost black, making me think that if the devil was real, he was probably standing right in front of me. The way he was leering at me as he held open the door with one hand and leaned against my car with the other only supported my belief.

"Hi Adrian," I muttered. "Please remove your hands from Jesse."

"Who's Jesse?"

"My car. I don't like fingerprints on him."

He gave me a look that basically told me he thought I was insane, which I was perfectly okay with if it made him leave sooner, before taking his hand and putting it on the back of my chair next to my shoulder. I immediately tensed.

"Can I help you with something? If not, can I leave?"

"I heard about your little cat-fight with Pansy and Lavender."

"It was mostly between Lavender and Ginny."

"You're definitely not Pansy level in the face or tits departments," he said looking slowly up and down my body, "but I can definitely see why Draco's so interested."

"Alright," I growled angrily, "I'm definitely not interested in this conversation, so if you'll excuse me."

I tried to close the door again and Adrian once again used his hand to hold it open.

"Ah sassy," Adrian smirked. "It's becoming more and more obvious why Draco likes you. I don't usually want someone else's leftovers, but in your case I think I can make an exception."

He moved the hand that had been on the car seat to my thigh and squeezed. I could feel my skin actually crawl in response to his touch.

"What the _fuck_ do you think you're doing?"

"That feistiness is probably great in the bedroom."

"Get your hands off of me and my car," I spat, my patience quickly running thin.

"Or what?"

"I'll rip off the arm that's on me and shove it up your ass and then run over you."

"I think I'm willing to take that chance," he grinned before leaning closer, causing me to almost choke on the overpowering smell of Axe deodorant.

I had just enough time to place my hand on his arm, fully intending to twist and possibly break it, before we were interrupted.

"_Pucey!_"

Both of us turned towards the voice. Draco stood behind Adrian in his soccer uniform with his gym bag in one hand and his soccer cleats in the other.

"Ten laps on the soccer field," he said coldly.

"What for Malfoy?" Adrian said passively, turning back to me. At least his hands weren't on me anymore.

"Because you're here instead of at practice."

"Don't get your panties in a twist. I'll be on my way in a minute. I'm just taking a moment to involve myself in some extracurriculars with Hermione here."

"_Now_ Pucey." Draco was angrier than I had ever seen him. He was expressionless, but his eyes were a stormy grey and they told Adrian that if he didn't leave in the next two seconds he'd regret it.

Adrian hesitated, looking at me hungrily one more time before glaring at Draco and stomping away. I closed my eyes and tried to control my breathing, my hands turning white from how tightly they were clenching the steering wheel. As the adrenaline coursing through my body faded, so did my anger and next thing I knew I was scared and disgusted by what had happened with Adrian. I shuddered as I remembered how his hand had felt moving up my thigh. My heart was still beating way too fast.

"Are you okay?" Draco had walked up to my car and was looking at me with concern in his eyes. When I saw him looking at me the way he used to, there was a major part of me that just wanted to get out of the car and have him hold me.

"He touched Jesse," I managed to choke out, still working on calming down.

Draco smiled at me and rubbed clean the part of the car door where Adrian's hand had been using his shirt.

"There, now it's like he was never here."

I grinned back at him instinctively, until I remembered my conversation with Pansy and the fact that Draco had ignored me for months. My face fell as I immediately shut down and began to rebuild the wall that had been between us since he started dating her and hanging out with Adrian and Marcus.

"I'm fine. You should get to practice."

"Hermione-"

"I'm _fine_ Malfoy. I can take care of myself and I could have handled Adrian alone."

I knew part of the reason I was being so harsh on him was because I hated that he had seen me so vulnerable after Adrian left. I had luckily stopped the panic attack before it happened, but the only other person who had ever seen me so shaken was Ron because he had accidentally ran into me at a park one day.

I had been there after my parents had yelled at me for hours over something that I couldn't even remember doing anymore. Ron had been on a morning run and had found me crying on a park bench by myself. Without saying anything, he just held me for an hour while I cried. He was the only person in years who had ever seen me cry and we had never talked about it because I wasn't ready to deal with the fact that someone had seen me when I was that weak.

For similar reasons, I just wanted to get as far away from Draco as I could right then. I moved to close the door, but Draco's hand stopped it from shutting. I could feel my eye twitch as my temper started to rise. _What part of don't touch the fucking car could these dumbasses not understand?_

"Since when have I been Malfoy to you?" he snapped.

I just stared at him in shock. _That's what he cares about right now?_

"It's your last name isn't it?"

"You've never called me that before."

"Well, there's a first time for everything."

I attempted to shut my door again. In one smooth movement, Draco leaned in until he was inches away from me and quickly grabbed my keys from the ignition. Stunned, it took me a moment to realize what had happened.

"Why'd you take my keys?"

"Because we're talking and it's rude for you to keep trying to leave during a conversation."

"I really don't give a fuck. Keys please."

"No."

"Malfoy."

"Stop calling me that, Hermione."

I sighed angrily. _Fine, if he wants me to talk to him so badly, I'll talk._

"Why on earth should I listen to anything you say?" I yelled. My patience was obviously out the window at this point. "I call you Malfoy because I don't know you anymore! We haven't said a word to each other in months because you think you're better than me and your old friends now. I'm sorry that none of us care as much as you do about being popular and having the prettiest girlfriend, but that doesn't give you the right to be a complete dick to us! Especially to Ron, Harry and Ginny! You've known them since you were fucking five-years-old! But none of that matters when a pretty girl bats her eyes at you right? You want a fucking conversation? Let's talk about how your girlfriend is batshit crazy and threatened me so I'd stay away from you! OR let's talk about how you're so shallow that you only care about people like Pansy and Adrian, who never even cared about you to begin with! OR BETTER YET, LET'S TALK ABOUT HOW YOU WANT A FUCKING CONVERSATION _NOW_ AFTER SPENDING THE PAST FOUR MONTHS IGNORING ME!"

I had never raised my voice like that at really anyone before. It was Draco's turn to be surprised. Taking advantage of the startled look on his face, I reached out and snatched my keys from his hands. I then shoved him away from Jesse so that I could close the door and immediately sped out of the parking lot.

I angrily wiped away the tears that finally started to fall as I drove home. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't ignore how much I missed Draco Malfoy.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think! (:**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's the next chapter! I don't own any of the characters! I only own the plot! Enjoy!**

* * *

"It's too hot for this."

"That's unfortunate."

"Can we go inside please?"

"Are they gone yet?"

Padma peeked over the dashboard of my car before sliding back down her seat and letting out a huff of irritation.

"They're still there."

"Then no, we have to wait until they're gone."

I reclined in my chair and closed my eyes, resigning myself to more time trapped in Jesse. It was at least ninety degrees outside and Padma and I had already spent fifteen minutes in the sweltering furnace that was my car. After picking up Padma for school, I had pulled into my usual parking spot and been about to get out of the car when I noticed the bright red Ferrari parked directly in front of me. There was only one person at Hogwarts who was both rich and obnoxious enough to own that car. And, sure enough, Draco and Harry were in it having what looked like an intense discussion. Remembering my loud, one-sided conversation with Draco after school yesterday, I had immediately yanked Padma back into the car, locked the doors and hissed at her to get down.

"You can't avoid him forever," Padma insisted, trying to figure out what happened between us yesterday.

"Not with that attitude," I pulled out my phone and tried to distract myself from the heat.

"What happened?"

"You should stop asking so many questions."

"I always ask questions though."

She looked out the window at Draco's car again. She jumped in surprise and immediately ducked.

"What happened?" I asked suspiciously.

"He saw me..."

"_What?_"

"I think he's heading over here."

A second later there was a sharp rapping noise on my window, scaring the crap out of me. I whipped my head around and breathed a sigh of relief when I was greeted with the sight of a green-eyed, brunette with glasses. I rolled down my window a crack.

"Good morning," I sang nonchalantly.

"You're really dumb if you think I didn't notice you two from the moment you parked," Harry grinned. "Draco noticed too, but after you didn't come out for twenty minutes he went inside and asked if I'd talk to you instead."

I winced at this new piece of information and briefly considered driving away to avoid talking to Harry. There was no point though since I only had ten minutes before I was officially late, which meant that Harry would just wait until I inevitably had to drive back to school anyway. I reluctantly unlocked the car, motioning for him to get into the back seat.

"Hi Padma," Harry greeted her warmly. "Isn't Ginny normally the one involved in these situations?"

She shrugged. "I needed the ride this morning."

Harry nodded before turning to me. I braced myself for the barrage of unanswerable questions about what had happened with Draco. I was doing my best to forget he existed up until then.

"You guys want to know about soccer practice yesterday?" Harry addressed his question to both of us, but he kept his eyes fixed on me. Something about the way he was looking at me told me that I probably wanted to know.

"Go ahead," I said, turning up the air conditioning.

"Adrian Pucey and Draco were ten minutes late to practice and they were both really pissed," Harry began. "Draco made Adrian run like fifty sprints for no reason until he threw up. When Draco finally gave him a five-minute break, Marcus asked Adrian what happened, and he said that Draco was just being a bitch because his girl flirted with Adrian apparently."

At that point, Harry gave me a pointed look.

"So, Pansy flirted with Adrian?" Padma asked, confused about what that had to do with either of us.

"See, that's what I thought. But then Theo told me that Draco and Pansy broke up three days ago."

Padma immediately slapped my shoulder.

"_OW!_" I glared at her. "_Why?!"_

"_You flirted with Adrian?_ That's disgusting!"

"I did _not_ flirt with Adrian! Why would you even think that? Have a little more faith in me."

"Guys, I'm not done," Harry interrupted. "When we started scrimmages, Draco kept running into Adrian and knocking him down. I thought Adrian would have to leave practice in an ambulance at one point. And then before we all left to go home, Draco told Adrian that if he ever saw him near Hermione again, he'd break his kneecaps. Then he came up to Ron and me and apologized for the past few months. Ron wasn't willing to forgive Draco at first, but after seeing Adrian get the shit beat out of him for about an hour, he was okay with giving him another chance. So, the three of us went out for dinner yesterday and caught up."

"What did you guys talk about?" I nervously asked. I really didn't want to hear that Draco told them all about my meltdown.

"Lots of stuff. Ron and Lavender, Draco and Pansy, how you ignored me for two months after you realized I still like you."

I groaned at that reminder. It was not one of my finer moments.

"I apologized multiple times for that."

Harry grinned. "I know, I just like to remind you every once in a while, so that you know you still owe me."

I rolled my eyes, finally relaxing after confirming that no one else knew about yesterday's incident.

"Oh, but Draco told me to let you know that he's going to get you to talk to him. He said something about you knowing exactly how annoying he could be when he wants something."

Well, that moment of serenity definitely didn't last long.

* * *

Draco was true to his word and in the next four hours I saw him more often than I had seen him since the beginning of the school year. He was waiting for me after each class and the only reason he hadn't managed to corner me yet was because I could hear the giggling of the third and fourth years following him wherever he went. They acted like a kind of warning, allowing me to slip out of each of my classes by hiding within a group of students and then I would speed walk away to my next class while ignoring the blonde boy calling my name from somewhere behind me.

I dropped my stuff onto the table and sank into my chair next to Ginny in Advanced Arithmetic. I surveyed the room quickly, noting that Mrs. Sprout had replaced our individual desks with larger tables that seated up to four students at each one. I also noticed that Draco wasn't there yet.

"Rough day?" Ginny asked, watching Mrs. Sprout carefully while she talked to me. "Where were you last class?"

"I was picking up Coach Hooch's daughter from the elementary school."

Coach Hooch was in charge of both the cross country and soccer teams. She was also a close family friend that I had known since I was about seven-years old, so she would often ask me to run errands for her if she knew I could afford to skip a class. Since we had a study hall during Chemistry, she had asked me to pick up her sick nine-year old daughter from school and bring her to Hogwarts to sit in Coach Hooch's office until the end of the day.

"Mhhm, and I'm sure the fact that Draco was in our last class has nothing to do with you skipping?"

I may have not been actually asked by Coach Hooch to get her daughter. In reality, I had tracked her down and begged her to give me something to do so that I could skip Chemistry. Unfortunately, she would not let me skip two classes in a row, especially since there was a quiz today in Advanced Arithmetic.

"That was just a happy coincidence."

"Right, and you're not going to tell me why you're avoiding him, correct?" she confirmed.

"Nope, I prefer to sit here in peace and enjoy the feeling of little succulents surrounding me."

"I'm glad you can relax while Mrs. Sprout plots our deaths."

"She's not doing that, Ginny."

"I'm going to prove it by the end of the year," she insisted.

Before I could respond, I was greeted by the sight of a familiar, but unwelcome, blonde seating himself in the currently empty chair across from me.

"Someone else sits there." I snapped.

"Oh, so you _can_ see me. I was starting to doubt whether you could since you've been ignoring me all day."

Draco was smirking at me and I was reminded of how hard it was not to punch him in the face.

"Go away."

"It's a free country."

"It's not a free table."

"Your name isn't on it."

Seamus Finnigan, who normally sat in front of me, chose that moment to walk up to his seat.

"Beat it Seamus," Draco said without even looking at him. "Hermione and I need to talk."

Seamus just looked at me for a second before shrugging and taking Draco's empty spot in the back of the room. I just watched in shock as Seamus made absolutely no attempt to take his seat, leaving me with Draco, Ginny and a random seventh year student. I was pretty sure his name was something along the lines of Josh or John.

"Ginevra," Draco greeted, slightly unsure of himself for the first time since he walked into the classroom. For good reason. If Ginny was holding a grudge against him, then he should fear for his life.

"Draco," Ginny responded coldly, "you have something you want to say to me."

A normal person would have assumed that was a question, but from Ginny's tone of voice it was obvious that she wasn't asking, she was telling.

"I'm sorry and I love you," he smiled sweetly at her.

There was a pregnant pause while we waited for Ginny to unleash her fury.

"Fine."

I blinked slowly, my mouth agape. There was no way Ginny forgave Draco ignoring her for four months that easily. She simply shrugged.

"I missed my bitch."

I glared at Draco. This did not mean we were okay or that I would be speaking to him. Luckily for me, Mrs. Sprout began to lecture and there wasn't any time for us to talk even if I wanted to. For the next thirty minutes he didn't do anything. He just sat there and did his classwork. I was irritated by the fact that no one except for me had a problem with his presence at the table. He wasn't bothering me so I couldn't say anything or ask the teacher to move him, but the fact that he was just minding his own business was even worse. All I could do was sit and wait for him to piss me off.

Mrs. Sprout handed out the quizzes and for a little bit I was able to ignore the boy in front of me as I focused on my quiz. I eventually found myself stuck on one problem. It wasn't difficult at all; I was just having issues with the calculations. I continued to stare at the arithmetic in front of me, becoming increasingly frustrated after repeatedly inputting the same numbers into my calculator only to get the wrong answer over and over again.

Suddenly, I felt Draco kick my leg and my whole body tensed. I was not about to play that stupid game with him. I opened my mouth, two seconds from yelling at Draco to get his damn feet away from me, when I noticed him pointing at his calculator, which he had slid onto my desk. Confused, I looked at the calculator screen and saw 5,631 typed out. I turned back to Draco and mouthed: _what?_ Draco continued to gesture to the calculator before finally giving up after realizing that I had no idea what he was trying to tell me.

I rolled my eyes and turned back to the quiz in front of me. I finally found the mistake I kept making. I had been adding two numbers together during one step of the calculation instead of subtracting them. Once I used the new numbers to solve the problem, I managed to get the correct answer. It was 5,631. My head shot up and I glared at Draco.

"I don't need your help," I hissed. "I would have gotten the answer by myself. I don't need to fucking cheat."

"I know," he whispered back. "I was just trying to help you. You knew how to do the problem, so I just tried to help you use the right numbers because you were taking so fucking long and we need to talk."

"No, we don't."

I ignored Draco and turned in my quiz before pulling out a book from my bag and reading. I could feel his eyes on me as he determined the best way to get me to speak to him.

"Hermione."

I kept my eyes on my book. Mrs. Sprout had given us free time at the end of class to talk or work on any other assignments we had due. So, I couldn't exactly tell the teacher that he wouldn't shut up since he was technically allowed to be talking.

"Her. Mio. Ne"

I glanced towards Ginny next to me for assistance, only to find her listening to music with her eyes closed and her head on her desk. Josh or John was equally unhelpful, choosing to get up and talk to Seamus at the back of the classroom.

_If I just ignore him for a little longer, the bell will ring and I can leave,_ I thought to myself.

"_Hermione!"_

"_Shut up!_" I said angrily.

Before I could stop myself, I tried to kick him as hard as I could in an attempt to get him to leave me alone. Unfortunately, Draco was able to quickly bend down and catch my foot in his hand.

"Let go of my fucking foot."

"Not until you talk to me."

"I'd rather eat a dick."

"As interesting as that topic is," he winked, "that's not what I need to talk to you about."

"I do _not_ care!"

I reached under the table to try and pry my foot out of his hand. Draco quickly dropped my foot and grabbed my hand instead.

"_LET G-"_

I felt my words get caught in my throat when he intertwined our fingers. He held my hand tightly and gently traced circles on the back of it. It felt like my entire hand was on fire and every rational thought immediately left my head when his eyes connected with mine.

"We need to talk Hermione."

My mouth felt dry. "I-"

_Ring, ring, ring._

After a moment of hesitation, I wrenched my hand out of his, grabbed my book bag and Ginny's arm, and then dragged her out of the room.

"Why am I being manhandled right now?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Maybe you should give him a chance to explain."

"_I don't want to talk about it."_

Once we had rounded another corner, I finally stopped to let Ginny catch her breath, looking around to make sure Draco hadn't followed us.

"What happened during class?" Ginny demanded.

I sighed. There was no way Ginny would drop this, so I decided it was better to tell her right then instead of letting her nag me about it for the rest of the day.

"Draco grabbed my hand."

"So? He's done that before."

"He was being different."

She rolled her eyes at my weak explanation, but all I could think about was how it felt like his fingers were still ghosting over the back of my hand and sending shivers down my spine.

Our conversation was interrupted by the sound of two boys arguing.

"What the _fuck_ was that at practice yesterday, Malfoy?"

I immediately moved to run away from the voices, but Ginny grabbed my arm and kept me there. She raised a finger to her lips, telling me to stay quiet and listen.

"You know what it was. Stay away from Hermione, Pucey."

"Or. Fucking. What? That bitch wanted me, and you just have a stick up your ass because you and Pansy broke up."

"I mean it. Don't fucking touch her."

"You jealous? I'm probably going to pop her cherry soon Malfoy. I want you to think about that every time you look at her."

My temper had been rising from the beginning of their sexist conversation, but when I heard Adrian's final remark, I saw red.

"Hermione, _don't!"_

Completely ignoring Ginny, I marched around the corner shoving Draco out of the way. I barely registered Draco crashing into the lockers lining the side of the hallway before my fist collided with the left side of Adrian's face. I grinned, satisfied with the bruise already beginning to form on the boy at my feet.

"If you come near me again, I guarantee I will do much worse to you than Malfoy ever could," I said, seething with anger.

I then turned on my heel and walked off down the hallway, still fuming over boys and toxic masculinity. I didn't get far before I felt someone grab my hand and spin me around towards them. When my eyes met Draco's silver ones, I tried to pull away desperately.

"Let go, Malfoy!"

"We are talking whether you like it or not!"

I glared up at him, wanting nothing more than to punch him in the face too. "You don't need to fucking defend me all the time! I can take care of myself!"

"I know that," he snapped back. "I didn't know you were around the corner though and I wasn't about to just listen to him say those things about you."

I huffed and finally stopped trying to pull away. I noticed we were starting to attract the attention of other students passing us in the hallway, not to mention the group of giggling fourth years that were watching Draco from about five feet away.

"Let go of me and I guess we can talk," I tried to ignore all the people staring at us and tugged gently to try and get him to drop my hand.

"I don't _want_ to let go though," he said softly, taking a step closer to me and interlocking our fingers once again.

He was standing way too close to me. There were very few things I was capable of processing right then. They were the feeling of his hand enclosed around mine, how his eyes were watching my every move, and the way his cologne seemed to envelope me. Draco smelled like aftershave, sandalwood and something else unidentifiable that was just him.

"Nice punch by the way," he grinned at me.

"Hm, thanks," I murmured in a complete daze. His smile was practically dazzling me and before I knew it, I found myself staring at his lips. _Maybe those fourth years are on to something._

It was that concept that finally broke me out of my thoughts. Those fourth years were definitely not on to something and I definitely did not just find Draco Malfoy attractive enough to kiss.

"I'm not forgiving you as easily as everyone else has."

"Then what will make you forgive me?" he leaned closer and whispered his next words directly into my ear. "I'll do anything you want."

My face broke out into a broad grin as I was blessed with an amazing idea.

"Anything?"

"Of course."

He would definitely regret saying that.

* * *

"Please not this."

We were outside in the parking lot after school and a small crowd had formed to witness this historic moment.

"You said anything."

"You're asking me to give up the one thing that matters to me."

"For fifteen minutes."

Draco was naturally pale, but the idea of me driving his precious Ferrari made him as white as a ghost. I was known for being more on the reckless side when I drove because I had absolutely no sense of self preservation, so he was understandably upset at the thought of me being in charge of his expensive baby.

Draco's Ferrari was a beautiful crimson with a brown leather interior. It was his pride and joy and he let no other human being drive it. Ever. Pansy had begged a million times and his only response had been: "over my dead body." In fact, I could see Pansy, and Adrian, glaring at me from the midst of the crowd.

"Is it true?"

I turned to see Ron and Luna pushing through the group to approach us.

"You're letting _Hermione_ drive your Ferrari?" Ron asked incredulously as Luna high-fived me.

"I'm considering it," Draco muttered, still looking like he was going to be sick.

"You better let me drive it next."

"_No!"_ Draco immediately turned to face Ron and the rest of the crowd. "I want to clarify that this is a one-time thing and it will never happen again as long as I live."

He turned back towards me and glared.

"What?" I said charmingly, trying my best to look as innocent as possible.

"You're putting me through absolute hell right now."

"I'm worth it. Just give me the keys to your little toy and this will all be over before you know it."

"This car costs six figures."

"So, it's a fancy ass toy," I corrected myself.

I sighed, feeling slightly guilty after seeing the intensely nervous look on his face. The fact that he was even considering this showed exactly how serious he was about having me back in his life. I decided to make a small concession in return.

"You can come with me."

Draco hesitated, turning to look at Ron for some kind of support. He only shrugged.

"That's probably the best deal you're going to get man. I'd take it if I were you."

Draco faced me with a resigned look on his face, dangling his keys just out of my reach.

"No donuts, sharp turns or going above fifty."

"120."

"Sixty."

"One hundred."

"Seventy-five."

"Deal." I jumped up and grabbed the keys out of his hand before hopping into the driver's seat. "You coming or what?"

He muttered under his breath something about how he'd murder me one day and opened the passenger door, gracefully sliding into the seat.

I grinned, staring the ignition. "I may go closer to ninety."

"_What?_"

Before he could protest further, I gunned it out of the parking lot, enjoying the feeling of the wind in my hair and the fact that I couldn't hear the angry complaints of the boy next to me over the sound of the car.

* * *

I finally pulled back into the school thirty minutes later, satisfied with my little joy ride. Draco had given me fifteen extra minutes after he saw how much fun I was having. Parking the car, I handed him his keys and got out of the Ferrari. I felt slightly dirty, as if I had cheated on Jesse with this car.

"What would Jesse think?" Draco echoed my thoughts, grinning at the way I was reluctant to leave the beautiful piece of machinery in front of me.

"He would understand," I muttered, closing the car door. "He knows he's my first and only love."

"Mhhm, sure."

Draco walked me over to my own car, holding open the door as I got in and making sure he didn't touch the exterior of the car more than necessary. I grinned up at him.

"You're forgiven by the way."

"I figured. I am really sorry though. For everything."

He again took my hand in his and this time I didn't pull away, but instead willingly allowed our fingers to be tangled together before pulling him nearer to me.

"Just promise me that next time you have a girlfriend, you won't pull the same bullshit you usually do."

"Deal," he smiled and gently tucked a lock of hair that had fallen out of my bun behind my ear. He watched me with an unreadable look in his eyes for another moment before pulling me up out of the car seat and into a tight hug.

I hesitated and then wrapped my arms around his neck as I closed my eyes and truly relaxed for what felt like the first time since we had started our fifth year.

"I missed you a lot, Draco," I finally admitted, calling him by his first name.

His hold on my waist tightened as he tried to bring me just a little bit closer.

"I missed you too."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed! Favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think! (:**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello! I am sorry for the late upload. I was having many issues with my anxiety and my ex. On the bright side, it gave me a lot of inspiration for this story. I plan to upload at least once a week from now on. I may upload again within a few days this time though.**

**Disclaimer: I only own the plot! Not the characters.**

* * *

I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself down one more time by focusing on my breathing.

_I'm okay. _No, you're not. _Nothing's happening to me. _But something could happen._ I'm okay. _No, you're not. _There is no reason to be freaking out. _That you know of. _I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay._

"Are you okay?"

I looked up to see Hannah Abbott watching me with concern. Hannah was a very sweet, sassy girl who spent most of her time learning about new ways to stay healthy and motivated. She had once said she wished she could live a hippie lifestyle to truly learn the meaning of life. With my generally sarcastic outlook on living, it was nice to have someone in my life who was my complete opposite to remind me how to be optimistic.

"I'm okay," I tried to give her a reassuring smile.

"It's okay if you're not."

"I know."

She examined me one last time and bent down to touch her toes. We were stretching before cross country practice after school. Since Coach Hooch had to watch the soccer teams practice, she had left Hannah and I in charge today, which basically meant Hannah was in charge unless there was an emergency because that would be the only way I would actually tell anyone what to do. Hannah was much more eager and qualified to be the boss of the other students on the team, while I was content to be more of a friendly, approachable resource, especially for the younger kids who were still adjusting to life at Hogwarts.

I tried to snap out of my thoughts and focus on starting practice, but I couldn't fight the feeling that something was about to go wrong. It wasn't long before I felt my chest tighten and I was struggling to breath.

_Control it dammit. I cannot have a panic attack here_. Imagine how insane everyone thinks you look_. NOTHING IS WRONG!_

"Hermione?" a shy, quiet child's voice came from over my shoulder.

I stopped stretching my legs using the fence next to me and turned toward the small blonde girl with pigtails patiently waiting for my response.

"Hi Sarah," I greeted Coach Hooch's daughter. I spotted the blush on her cheek and frowned, wondering if she was feeling sick again. "Everything okay?"

I lifted my hand to her forehead to check her body temperature as she nodded sheepishly.

"Draco told me to come and get you," she giggled.

It was then that I noticed the candy bar she was clutching in her hand and the blonde boy standing across the field at the entrance to the parking lot. Draco had his gym bag in one hand and his other in his shorts pocket. He also did not have a shirt on and many of the girls, younger and older, were starting to notice him and his six pack.

"Could you please deal with that idiot? He's distracting everyone," Hannah claimed glaring at Draco.

I rolled my eyes and made my way over to him. My chest was still way too tight and my heart was beating at an unhealthy, rapid pace. I begged myself to calm down, continuously reminding myself that nothing at all was wrong.

"What do you want?" I asked, my voice coming out a little sharper than I meant for it to.

Draco didn't say anything and instead looked at me for another minute.

"Draco," I was getting impatient with his antics, "what are you doing here? You have practice. You're going to be la-"

"What's wrong?" he interrupted, taking a step closer.

I immediately felt my throat tighten and a stinging sensation behind my eyes.

_Why did he always notice when I was upset?_

I dropped my eyes from his face, which unfortunately led to me staring at his chest since he was so close to me.

_Get yourself under control. I am NOT crying in front of Draco Malfoy._

Draco dropped his gym bag and took my hand in his before using his other one to tilt my chin up. I tensed and attempted to pull away, acutely aware of how close he was and mortified by the fact that I could feel my eyes watering. I hated how worried he was about me and how he always knew when I was lying. There was no point in saying I was okay because he would just know that I wasn't. I searched his grey eyes and found a mix of concern and helplessness hidden within them. That was why I hated him stressing out about me. I couldn't tell him what was wrong because I didn't even know, so then he just worried about me without knowing how to help.

"Please tell me?" he begged, brushing my cheek with his thumb.

I had no idea what to say. He looked like it was actually physically hurting him to see me this upset and unable to do anything about it. I could convince everyone else I was fine most of the time, but Draco always knew. Unfortunately, I couldn't tell him about my anxiety or the panic attacks. I didn't think I could handle him knowing because I was afraid it would change how he looked at me. He never treated me like I was weak or fucked up. He argued with me and never held anything back because he knew I could take it. If he knew the truth though, then he wouldn't be himself around me and instead be careful because he would think I was fragile and broken. I never wanted him to believe I was broken.

_Why can't I just snap out of it._ He's just going to leave you like everyone else does._ Just please snap out of it._ You need to push him away._ I'm hurting him._

Draco sighed and finally let go, taking a step away from me.

"I better go to practice," he muttered and turned towards the soccer field.

Before I could stop myself, or even consider all of the reasons why I should let him walk away, I ran toward him and grabbed his arm. When he turned to face me, I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in his shoulder. One of Draco's hands immediately encircled my waist while the other rubbed my back. He kept whispering something in my ear. I still wasn't crying, purely out of sheer determination, but it felt like my head was trying to kill me and all I managed to do was close my eyes and pray my skull would stop pounding and the part of me repeating that it was wrong to trust Draco would just shut up. After another minute, I had finally calmed down a bit and could focus enough to hear what he had been saying.

"I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

I gently pulled away, feeling exhausted suddenly.

"I'm sorry," I laughed awkwardly, rubbing my temples and taking another step backwards. "I just-"

"You're coming with me."

"Uh, no I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"Draco!" I exclaimed, completely forgetting about my earlier anxiety in favor of my current frustration. "We both have practice and Coach Hooch is going to kill us if we ditch."

"I'm the captain," he shrugged. "What's she going to do? Kick me off the team?"

"I'm happy that you're so confident in yourself, but what about me? She left me in charge."

"We both know Hannah has it covered."

I hesitated, looking at Draco's outstretched hand and wanting nothing more than to take it and ignore any responsibilities I had and to let him take me wherever he was planning to.

"I can't just leave her by herself."

"She would understand," he took a step closer to me and wrapped his arm back around me. "I promise you, nothing bad is going to happen from you skipping one practice. Coach Hooch and Hannah both love you and trust you. I know you want to come with me, so please? I really don't want to let go of you yet."

I felt my heart beat faster, in a good way this time, after hearing his last few words. I could still feel the back of my mind racing as it considered everything that could possibly go wrong from making the wrong decision.

_Go with him. _You're going to get in trouble. _Just shut up and go with him._

I took a deep breath.

"Can I drive?"

* * *

He had not let me drive. Fifteen minutes later we were finally parked next to a small, isolated meadow filled with millions of yellow flowers.

"Where are we?" I asked as I got out of the car. I had never even heard of this area before.

"Just a nice, little place I found when I was twelve. My house is nearby."

He got out of the car and pulled a blanket out from the trunk before taking my hand and leading me farther into the field. Once he got to a spot that seemed slightly more worn, as if someone often came and sat there, he spread out the blanket and laid down, gesturing for me to relax next to him. I gingerly sat down, looking around suspiciously.

"There's probably bees here."

"Are you ever not worried about something?"

I refrained from responding, knowing the truth would just upset him. He was right though; it was a nice area. The breeze was steady, but there was enough sunlight where I didn't feel cold. The sounds of birds chirping in the trees nearby was comforting. It was honestly perfect, as if it was a place from a fairy tale.

I turned to study the boy next to me. His eyes were closed, and he was lying on his back with his arms folded behind his head. He still wasn't wearing a shirt. I rolled my eyes, knowing that had been on purpose.

Draco definitely worked out more than the average person, but he wasn't bulky. He was lean with defined abs and muscles in his arms and legs. My eyes followed the previously mentioned muscles in his arms until they landed on his face. He was so relaxed. When I saw most people relaxed and happy, a part of me envied them for being able to shut off their worries and insecurities and just enjoy the moment. I didn't feel jealous of Draco though. Seeing him so calm with the sun shining on him and making his hair seem even brighter, only filled me with a sense of content.

"Enjoying the view?" Draco smirked, keeping his eyes closed.

"I would be if there was anything to see," I quipped before leaning over him to pluck a single white flower that was growing on his other side. "Actually, I was wondering how many other girls you've brought here."

He quickly knocked the arm that was supporting my weight, causing me to fall against his chest with a yelp and the flower in my other hand. I huffed angrily and attempted to get off of him until I felt his arm around my waist again, holding me against him. I looked up at him, intending to threaten him with the flower, but fell silent at the intense look in his eyes.

Draco looked at me for a moment longer before reaching up and taking my hair tie, so that my hair fell out of the bun I had put it in earlier in the day. He then carefully took the flower from me and brushed my hair out of my eyes before tucking it behind my ear. I felt my eyes close as the back of his hand gently trailed down the side of my face before resting against cupping my neck underneath my hair. I opened my eyes again and was intently aware of how close we were, and the fact that my tank top had rode up a little so the hand that was around my waist was actually touching my skin.

"Just you," he murmured with an unreadable look in his piercing eyes.

"Don't I feel lucky then," I whispered back.

We were the only people in the meadow, but it felt like if either one of us were too loud the moment would be broken.

"You should, but I know you don't," he smirked before adjusting our position so that I was on my back, resting on his arm and he was on his side leaning over me slightly.

The hand attached to the arm behind my head began to play with my hair while his free hand found mine. He had been doing that a lot more recently. He was known for being flirty, but lately it seemed like every chance he got, especially in Advanced Arithmetic, he would hold my hand and pull me closer to him. Draco usually tried to make sure that no one else could see whenever he did it and I wasn't sure if that was for my benefit or his.

"I do," I insisted quietly and instinctively, in an uncharacteristic and brazen act, reached up and ran my free hand through his hair.

His hair was unbelievably soft and silky. _Probably because he's obsessed with it_, I thought to myself as my fingers continued their journey, tracing the side of his face, outlining his chin and ghosting over his lips. It was an established fact that Draco owned more hair care products than anyone else at Hogwarts. He was constantly making sure that not a single hair was out of place throughout the day. The only time he was okay with his hair getting messed up was during soccer practice.

"Why don't you ever tell me what's wrong?"

I sighed and removed my hand from his face.

"Nothing's wrong."

"That doesn't work on me, Hermione."

I tried to avoid looking at him and hoped he would drop it, even though I knew he wouldn't this time.

"I'm just scared you'll look at me differently," I finally said quietly, feeling weak and hating myself for it.

"I don't think I could ever look at you differently."

"That's not true-"

"_And_ if I ever do," he continued as if I hadn't spoken, "it's my fault not yours. It just bothers me that I can't help you."

I moved closer to him so that the top of my head was tucked underneath his chin and he turned so that he was lying on his back again with me on top of him and both arms wrapped around me tightly. I didn't know what to say.

"You're not the only one who's scared Hermione," he whispered, holding me closer if possible. "I just don't want you to be sad anymore."

"This helps," I said, propping myself up so I could look him in the eye. "Being with you like this helps a lot. I'm not ready to talk about it though."

"Promise me that if you need me, you'll tell me? I already know I'm going to fuck up again, but I need you to know you're always important to me. I don't know why or anything, but you're so fucking important to me."

"I promise."

I was starting to feel uncomfortable with how close we were and how I couldn't stop staring at his lips, so I suddenly did the most childish, immature thing I could think of. I took a clump of dirt and grass and shoved it into his perfectly styled hair and grinned up at him, before jumping up and sprinting away into the field.

"You bitch," he shouted, laughing as he ran after me.

He caught up to me pretty fast since his legs were a lot longer than mine. I screamed as he picked me up and spun me around before we both fell to the ground. He immediately pinned my arms down and began putting dirt and grass into my hair, tickling me at the same time. My screams and threats were a lot less menacing through my laughter as I begged for him to stop. He finally stopped, satisfied with his work, and just grinned down at me.

"That's not fair," I tried to catch my breath as I spoke. "This'll take me hours to get out of my hair. That's why I keep it up dumbass."

"Your hair's nice down too," Draco said, taking a strand of it into his hand. "It reminds me of you. It's violent and wild and fun. It's how you are when you're like this and not overthinking things."

He was right. Right then, I felt breathless, happy and free. I wasn't worried or anxious at all. I looked up at Draco and gave him the first genuine smile I had all day before pulling him down into a tight hug and whispering into his ear.

"Nothing's wrong."

And this time I meant it.

* * *

"I'm going to really murder him this time. I promise."

"You've been saying that for almost two years now," Ginny said as she watched me try to untangle myself from my desk after Advanced Arithmetic. "I think he's going to live a long, happy life."

I grumbled more to myself and grabbed the scissors from my desk, planning to cut myself loose. I had been engrossed in a book for the last fifteen minutes of class and somehow Draco had managed to use that opportunity to tie me to my desk using my shoelaces without me knowing.

Before I cut the laces, I noticed a small piece of paper tucked into my shoe. I unfolded the note to reveal a message from Draco in his familiar elegant handwriting.

_Good luck today. You've got it covered. Also just pull the left lace. – D._

"What's that about?" Ginny asked, reading the note over my shoulder.

I pulled on my left shoelace and grinned as I was finally able to detach myself from the leg of the desk. After retying my shoe, I answered Ginny.

"He's talking about the elections for Interact after school. I'm kind of nervous about it."

"You'll be fine. I don't think anyone's even trying to run against you. Plus, everyone with a brain knows that you deserve to be the president more than anyone else. That club is exhausting, and you always go to every meeting and all of the charity events to help out. No one else can say that."

_She's right. Nothing is going to go wrong._ You're probably not going to get it. _Yeah, I will. There's no reason I won't._

I took a deep breath and tried to calm my nerves.

"You're right, there's nothing to worry about."

* * *

Later that day, I was sitting next to Ginny in the classroom that Interact usually met in. I was still way too nervous and felt like something was definitely about to go wrong. I had kept Draco's note from earlier in the day and repeatedly unfurled and read it to reassure myself that everything was fine.

That was when Lavender walked into the room and announced that she was also running for president.

"Oh, hell no," Ginny got up and made her way over to the blonde. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Anyone's allowed to run," Pansy smirked from next to Lavender.

"Did I ask you Puggy? Why are you even here?"

"I'm here to vote. For Lavender of course."

"How?" I managed to choke out with my eyes still fixed on Lavender.

"I paid the club dues and went to a meeting at the beginning of the year."

"But, I don't think-"

Before I could finish questioning her ability to vote for Lavender when she wasn't even really a member of the club, I noticed the tall ginger boy standing behind her.

"Ron?" I said softly, confused as to why my best friend wasn't at least staying impartial right then. "What are you doing?"

"Um, Lavender asked me to vote for her. She asked me and I asked Harry last night. I'm so sorry Hermione."

I felt my anger growing, as well as another painful headache. I could not believe this was happening. Ron wouldn't meet my eyes and instead was staring at the ground.

"You're fucking campaigning for her?" I hissed angrily. "She's barely gone to anything for this club and you know it. And now she's asking you and Harry to do her dirty work? What the fuck is wrong with you two?"

"I-" Ron began to protest desperately before Lavender cut him off.

"Come on Ronald. If she can't take some good-natured competition, it's better that she gives up anyway."

I watched as Lavender took his arm and began to lead him away.

"Grow a spine Ron," I muttered, knowing he had heard me.

The elections went by in a blur. I didn't fully focus on what was happening because I knew I was losing. Lavender had gone around and asked multiple people in the club to vote for her last night. I didn't ask anyone to vote for me. I didn't think I needed to, assuming that my opponent would just ask for people to vote for her based off of our speeches and experience. As Ginny had mentioned earlier, there was no way Lavender could have beat me based off of merit.

It didn't matter. Once the ballots were counted, it was revealed that I had lost by two votes. I noticed Ron and Harry looking guilty while Lavender and Pansy squealed happily.

"Are you okay," Ginny whispered, trying not to draw attention to us. I kept an impassive look on my face as I turned to her.

"I need to go to Draco. Right now."

"Go," Ginny urged, nodding understandingly. She didn't quite know what our relationship was, neither did I to be honest, but she knew I needed him right then. "I'll cover for you."

"Thanks."

* * *

I barely kept myself from running down the hallway as I made my way to the parking lot. I needed to get to Draco. That was the only thing I knew for sure right then. I needed to get away from everything else and get to Draco.

_I did my best. It's not my fault. Everything's okay. I am likable and it's not my fault I lost. _You can say goodbye to any decent college you were planning to go to. Why would they even want you? _It's not my fault. This isn't the end of the world. _No it's not, but you know that. This just proves that your parents are right. You're not good enough.

I felt like screaming at myself to stop thinking. I was going insane.

_Where the fuck is Draco?_

He should have gotten out of practice by then and would be by his car. He didn't usually leave without saying bye to me. As soon as I got out of the large, double doors of the school I scanned the parking lot. I quickly spotted the familiar red Ferrari and a boy with blonde hair next to it. I breathed a sigh of relief and ran towards him. In the back of my mind I registered that Draco was talking to three other guys, but I didn't look at them closely enough to determine who they were and, quite honestly, I didn't give a fuck. The moment I had left the classroom after Lavender had been announced as president, there had been only one goal in my mind: to get to Draco Malfoy, and it was now right in front of me. Nothing else mattered.

_We can go to the meadow and everything will feel okay again._

I reassured myself, intending to go to him and grab his hand. That was before I heard a voice that made me freeze in my tracks.

"Malfoy's got a thing for that Hermione bitch," Adrian taunted. "You should see the way he's constantly waiting for her after class and following her around like a pathetic puppy. I wonder how his mom would react if she knew he dumped Pansy for some poor girl."

"Watch your fucking mouth Pucey. Hermione's just a friend," Draco practically growled.

"Draco is that true. Do you like her?" Marcus asked quietly.

There was something unsettling about Marcus Flint. He wasn't an outright, disgusting creep like Adrian, but there was something equally disturbing about him that normally made me avoid him as much as possible.

"She's nothing Draco. If you want her, then you're not with us anymore and all those connections we talked about will be gone. It's nothing personal, Hermione seems like a good kid, but she's made for someone like Potter or the Weasley twin. She's just not good enough for us and I don't want her thinking she is," Marcus said with little to no emotion.

Theo looked extremely uncomfortable next to the three boys and repeatedly opened his mouth as if to interrupt Marcus' assessment of me before deciding not to. It was then that he and Adrian both saw me walking up behind Draco. Adrian smirked wickedly before turning back to Draco.

"Yeah, _Draco_," Adrian mocked, "tell us what you really think about Hermione?"

Theo's eyes widened.

"_Draco-"_

"I don't want her," Draco snapped, completely ignoring Theo. "Why would I want her? She's ugly, stupid and annoying. Hermione and I argue all the time. She may have a thing for me, but she's just a game to cure my boredom sometimes. We're not even really friends. I know she likes me, but I've never liked her. In fact, I pretty much hate her. She's _disgusting_."

"_DRACO_!" Theo finally shouted, pointing behind the blonde.

_"What?_" Draco yelled, turning around. He froze when he saw me standing there. He instinctively began to take a step towards me but stopped when he saw my murderous expression.

"Hermione, I didn't-"

"Know I was here? Yeah, I figured that out." I interrupted. As cold as it was outside, my voice was much colder.

I expected to feel like my heart was broken and to have tears streaming down my face. However, the part of me that was controlled by my anxiety and usually made me feel weak and scared had been beaten into submission by the other side of me. The side that was frustrated with everything in the world and had turned to Draco for some kind of reassurance that not all people were shitty. That side of me was absolutely pissed.

"Let's go," Draco said softly. "We can talk about things in the car."

For the first time ever, he looked slightly afraid of me. His eyes were a cloudy grey, reflecting a mix of emotions. Sadness, fear, pleading. It was all there. He knew that this time I couldn't forgive him. He wasn't moving towards me and trying to lead me to his car like he normally would have. Instead, he was keeping his distance as if he thought I might actually kill him this time. Which was a distinct possibility.

I looked at Draco, Adrian and Marcus intently after determining that Theo had nothing to do with what had just transpired.

"Listen to me carefully," I said with barely restrained rage, "the three of you will stay away from me until we all graduate. I do not want to ever talk to any of you again. I do not care about joining your little group, I never have. You will also tell Pansy and Lavender to leave me alone. If you don't leave me alone, I will make your lives a living hell. All three of you know me, and you know I'll manage to do it if I really want to. So, I suggest that you don't make me want to. Have I made myself clear?"

I waited until I received a scared nod from Adrian, who was most likely recalling how it felt when I punched him in the face, and a thoughtful one from Marcus before I turned away and headed toward my car. I heard footsteps behind me and prepared myself to hurt Draco. I always threatened to do it, but I knew for sure if he had followed me, I wouldn't stop myself this time.

"He's sorry."

Theo fell into step beside me as he walked me the rest of the way.

"Doesn't matter. I told him to never do something like that again. I don't know him anymore. I don't know if I ever did."

He stopped me from getting into the car and I was too angry at everything else to even fully acknowledge the fact that this boy was touching Jesse.

"You definitely know him. He cares about you so much Hermione. He would probably do anything for you."

I smirked coldly and gently pushed him out of the way. While he was annoying me, Theo wasn't why I was angry.

"The only thing I want from Draco, is to be left alone."

Theo shook his head sadly, finally letting me get into the car and closing the door behind me. I sank into the car seat and blasted the heater. The weather had been so unpredictable lately. One day it would be warm and the next it would be close to freezing. Today it was way too cold. I felt numb all over and I didn't know if it was because of the icy weather or because of what had happened.

I took deep breaths and tried to make the pulsing feeling in my head stop. Searching the middle console desperately, I finally located some ibuprofen. I turned the small bottle over to look at the dosages on the back.

_Do not take more than two capsules._

I quickly dumped four of the little pills into my hand and swallowed them, breathing shakily. My chest was tightening, and my head was still pounding as if someone was hitting the back of my head with a hammer.

_It's all in your head. Please calm down._

I felt the tears finally stream down my cheeks and I started sobbing as I begged myself to just stop worrying for more than an hour. I felt trapped in my own head and I wanted to stop constantly thinking. I wanted to just be happy like I used to be when I was younger, and I wanted to be that perfect girl my parents remembered me as when I was growing up. The girl my sister still was. I wanted to stop disappointing people. I wanted this heavy feeling in my chest to go away so that I could breathe again. I wanted my head not to hurt to the point where I couldn't even study anymore. I wanted everything to just stop for once.

_Please just let it stop._

I lost track of the amount of time I spent crying in Jesse, but it must have been hours. I knew my parents would be angry at me for coming home late so I sent them a quick text saying that I had been held up at school doing homework before I angrily dried my eyes.

_I'm okay. _No you're not. _I don't give a fuck. I will pretend I'm okay because I'm not a weak, whiny bitch and I've never needed anyone._

I finally started the car and pulled out of the parking lot, repeating to myself that I didn't need anyone and trying to breathe slowly. If I had been less distracted by my own thoughts, I would have noticed the red Ferrari that only left the school parking lot after I did.

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Remember to favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think!**


	7. Chapter 7

**Hello! This chapter is a little bit shorter because it felt like a good spot to stop. The next chapter will most likely be a lot longer though and will be told from Draco's point of view instead!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, only the plot.**

* * *

"You should let him go."

I sighed and turned another page in my book trying to ignore Ginny for as long as I could. The two of us were at a table in the courtyard eating lunch and waiting for Luna and Padma. We had been sitting in comfortable silence until Draco, Harry and Ron sat at a table near us.

"You grumble every time you see him," Ginny insisted, ignoring my hint that I wasn't in the mood to talk.

"I'm mad at all three of them," I argued.

It had been a month since the _incident_. The only person who knew any of the details about it was Ginny. She had tracked me down and nagged me until I finally told her most of it, leaving out the part where I cried in my car for a couple of hours. Over the next few days, I had avoided Draco as much as possible. It didn't matter though since he didn't even try to talk to me. In fact, when I asked Seamus to resume sitting in his original seat in Advanced Arithmetic, Draco had just walked in and stopped for a moment in the middle of the classroom. There was hurt written all over his face. I ignored the part of me that wanted to go to him and had just remained impassive, watching as Draco went to his old seat in the back of the class without a word. Since then, the two of us had barely interacted, choosing to be in the same room only when absolutely necessary and never directly acknowledging the other.

"But you mostly complain about him."

"Well, when he acts like a bitch, then I should be allowed to complain about him like a bitch. Why are you bothered by it anyway? You love when I'm bitchy."

"True," Ginny tossed her hair over shoulder before winking at the group of guys that were sitting at the table across from us.

Ginny and her girlfriend had broken up a couple of weeks ago. She dumped Mallory after hearing that she was planning to break up with Ginny. I had told her to just wait and see what would happen, but after angrily saying something about how no one made a fool out of Ginny Weasley, their relationship ended. A week later, we found out that it had just been a rumor and now the two of them hated each other.

"See there's a problem with you hating him so much though. I trashed Mallory all the time until I realized that after almost a year of dating, I wasn't even close to loving her. Now, I still don't like her, but I don't have a reason to complain about her anymore because I'm not hurt. You're still bothered by Draco a lot though and it's been like a month."

She thoughtfully stole another M&M from my bag and popped it into her mouth, ignoring my glare. She knew I was very protective over my food, especially when it involved chocolate, but she still chose to steal bits of my lunch all the time. Deciding to just let her steal my food if it kept her from talking about Draco, I turned back to my book and was able to focus on reading until I heard a loud gasp. I looked up to find Ginny wide eyed and pointing at me.

"_OH DEAR GOD, __YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH DRA-"_

I luckily interrupted the rest of that sentence by aggressively stuffing the last twenty M&Ms into her mouth.

"Nothing to see here. Just two friends sharing a bag of M&Ms," I said, hoping to reassure a few of the younger students staring at us that I wasn't trying to murder the red head with chocolate.

Ginny took a few seconds to chew and swallow the multicolored candy before finally speaking again.

"They definitely didn't buy that."

"Ginevra."

"Fine, maybe you're not in love with him," Ginny conceded. "You definitely like him a lot though."

"I never said that."

"You never denied it."

"I'm denying it now," I snapped, quickly growing frustrated with our conversation. "Look, I liked Draco as a friend. Nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't matter though because I don't like him at all now. I complain about him because he's an ass and his presence on earth upsets me. _There is no deeper reason._ Got it?"

"Got it," she nodded an affirmative and went back to mentally undressing the boys in front of us. I eyed her suspiciously for a minute longer before I was satisfied that she would at least drop it for now. I relaxed and began reading again.

"So, can I be maid of honor at the wedding?"

"_If you don't shut up I swear to God I will-_"

"Hermione?"

My tirade was interrupted by Harry Potter, who was standing behind me sheepishly with a chocolate bar as a peace offering.

"Chocolate. Really? That's the best you've got?"

"You don't want it?"

"I didn't say that," I muttered, grabbing the chocolate bar and turning back to Ginny. "We're done talking about this."

"No, we're not," she sang after me as I walked to an empty table to have some privacy when I talked to Harry.

We sat down and Harry just looked at me through his glasses nervously. He wasn't saying anything and had probably hoped to talk to me when I was in a better mood.

"You have until I finish my candy," I said. "So, I'd start talking if I were you."

"I'm sorry."

"That was implied by your little gift."

Harry sighed frustratedly before running his fingers through his hair.

"I just. I mean I don't. Well-"

"The chocolate is done, and I guess so is this sorry excuse for a conversation." I got up and was about to leave when he finally got a complete sentence out.

"I wasn't getting over you, Hermione," Harry confessed. "I wanted to so much because you like Draco."

"_I DO NOT LIKE_-"

"My point is," Harry wisely chose to interrupt, "even if you don't like anyone, you definitely don't like me, and it doesn't look like you ever plan to."

I fell silent at that. He wasn't wrong. I tried to have feelings for Harry multiple times over the past two years, but I just couldn't. He was familiar and comfortable, and I did love him, but it was all just platonic. Unfortunately, I already knew that if I dated him it would just end in us breaking up because I wasn't attracted to him as anything more than a friend.

"I'm sorry," I said softly, feeling slightly guilty.

"There's literally nothing for you to apologize for," Harry shrugged. "You're likable. That's not really your fault. But I started talking to Lavender about it and we got really close because of it. I basically thought maybe I liked her instead of you eventually. So, when Ron asked me to vote for her, I said yes, but that isn't an excuse and I should have talked to you about it instead of acting like everything was okay-"

"Harry, I miss you."

The boy sitting next to me immediately stopped rambling and stared at me in shock. Sentiment tended to make me uncomfortable a lot of the time, so I didn't usually offer up my emotions so freely.

"I miss you too."

"Then let's just try to not let something like that happen again and go back to normal? Besides, I've fucked you over before and, like you constantly remind me, I owe you for that. So how about I forgive you for this and you forgive me for the whole ignoring you for a couple of months thing and we can just be even?"

Harry broke out into a large grin as he pulled me out of my chair and into a tight hug.

"I forgave you for that a long time ago, Hermione."

I smiled up at him and assured him once again that everything was fine, making plans to see him later in the day. I watched as he made his way back to Draco and Ron and began to tell them what happened. Silver eyes connected with mine and I immediately dropped my gaze, breathing unsteadily. I knew that if Draco got a good look at me, he would notice that the smile plastered on my face didn't quite reach my eyes.

What I had told Harry wasn't a lie. I did miss him, and I did want things to just go back to normal. I didn't trust him though. I actually didn't trust anyone anymore. I even held Ginny, Luna and Padma at arm's length nowadays. I wasn't angry at Harry or Ron; I was just tired. Tired of getting hurt and fighting with myself whenever I let someone get closer to me. After the Interact meeting and my conversation with Draco last month, I had just decided it was better to have no one really know me than to get hurt again. I didn't blame any of them and I accepted Harry's apology. I just didn't want to be the same trusting person anymore. It only made my anxiety worse and I figured it was better to just give up and accept that I couldn't feel close to anyone without worrying about getting hurt. Those concerns were too much for me to handle now.

I sat down next to Ginny and opened my book again.

"You okay Mione?"

She knew I hated it when anyone called me that. My name was three syllables. Not two. Three.

"I'm fine," I grumbled, "I forgave him and whenever Ron asks for me to, I'll forgive him too."

"You don't need to forgive any of them you know."

"I don't like holding grudges."

"What they did was pretty shitty."

"I know."

Ginny thought for a moment before realizing I had left someone out.

"You're not going to forgive Draco?"

I shook my head.

"I can't," I choked out, "not this time."

Ginny nodded and chose to change the subject, knowing that I didn't want to figure out my feelings right then, or ever really. Her hand found mine and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"Well in my experience, the best way to move past someone is to get under someone else."

"I don't think I like where this is going."

I attempted to close my book and escape from our table, but Ginny quickly snatched my book out of my hand and sat on it.

"Sit your ass back down," Ginny demanded, "besides, there's Luna and Padma."

I narrowed my eyes and slowly took my seat again as the other two girls joined us.

"Get your ass off my book."

"Uh, what's happening?" Luna asked, watching our exchange nervously.

"I am trying to set up our dear friend Hermione with the boy of her dreams. Now will you please hear me out?"

Realizing there was no way that I would be able to leave the table with my book, I sighed and motioned for her to continue meddling in my love life.

"Now, I've determined a number of suitable boy toys for you to consider."

"I don't think people are supposed to be used as toys."

"Nonsense," she waved her hand, dismissing my concerns. "Let's focus our attention on the new boys. You don't know them well yet, therefore they haven't had the opportunity to fuck things up."

"She makes a valid point," Padma agreed, while Luna nodded along.

"Okay," I managed to say, rubbing my temples. "Who do you have in mind?"

Ginny's eyes lit up with excitement at the possibility of setting me up with someone.

"Okay, what about Dean Thomas? I think he's been flirting with you for months. I would let that boy do whatever he wanted to me."

"He's nice," I decided after a bit of consideration. "He moved here at the beginning of the school year, right?"

"Yeah," Luna interjected, "but I'm pretty sure he gave Susan Bones a bunch of gifts on Valentine's Day. I don't think they're dating yet, so if you want to fight Susan for him be my guest, but I wouldn't."

Ginny looked at me hopefully.

"I'm not interested enough to do that, and Susan could flatten me easily. So that's a definite no, Ginny."

"Fine. What about Finnigan?"

"No thank you."

"Longbottom?"

"Nope."

"I'm running out of people, Hermione."

"Then my plan's working."

Ginny glared at me and pulled up something on her phone. I managed to glance over her shoulder at the title before she hid the screen from me.

_Potential Boys for Hermione_

"You made a list," I stated in disbelief. "Why on earth did you make a list?"

"Because I am committed to finding you love!" Ginny defended herself.

"You've lost your mind."

"Because I'm a great friend?"

"No, because you made a fucking _list_ of boys to pimp me out to!"

"_I am not a pimp!_"

"Guys," Padma stopped our argument before it could get any worse. "We all have the common goal of finding Hermione a competent boy. There's no reason to fight about it. Is there anyone else on the list?"

"Just some Italian guy. I haven't found out his name yet or anything, but I've heard he's nice, funny and on the track team. He's also apparently pretty attractive."

I rolled my eyes and held out my hand for my book. Ginny reluctantly got up and let me take it from her.

"As much as I love all of you for trying so hard to set me up," I began, "if something were going to happen between me and someone else, it's better that it happens naturally. Right now, I don't even know if I want to be with anyone. But thank you Ginny for being more devoted to finding me a boyfriend than a normal, sane person."

"_Hey_!"

"Now if you all will excuse me; I have to go turn in this library book because I'm less interested in reading it after Ginny's ass was on it for a significant amount of time."

"That book should feel honored," Ginny grinned up at me.

I chuckled and waved goodbye to the three of them before heading back into the school.

* * *

"Hey you."

I momentarily stopped perusing the bookshelves of the library to acknowledge the tall, ginger boy that bumped into my shoulder.

"Hello, Ronald."

"Don't be like that Mione."

"I have plenty of reason to be like that," I asserted, glancing at the brief summary written on the back of a book before putting it back on the shelf.

"You're getting back into reading?" Ron asked, watching my movements with mild surprise.

"I'm trying to."

"How many have you gotten through?"

"None," I muttered, frowning as I replaced another book. "I get through more than half of most of them before I stop."

"Your head's still hurting isn't it?"

"I'm fine," I snapped and finally gave him all my attention. "You're here to apologize right?"

"That's right."

"Fine, I forgive you."

"Um, why?" he asked suspiciously.

"Because I'm not interested in holding a grudge."

"Well, I'm not complaining," he grinned before pulling me into a hug.

I smiled back, feeling slightly uncomfortable. What Ron had done hurt me almost as much as Draco. I used to trust the boy in front of me with almost everything. He had been my closest confidante. I never went into details, but he knew about the anxiety, the panic attacks and the headaches. But, I knew that his priorities were different now. If it was between me and Lavender, he would choose her. I understood that when you dated someone, you normally sided with them, but I had hoped that since it was between me, his best friend, and his possible girlfriend, he would at least remain impartial. I knew now that I was wrong.

"So, you and Lavender?" I asked, feigning enthusiasm.

"Yeah," he smiled happily, "I told her I liked her, and she said she needed some time to think about it, but we've been hanging out a lot ever since so I'm optimistic."

"That's good then."

"You should give her a chance. I know she's a lot sometimes, but if you just apologize then she'll stop, and you guys can go back to being friends. You were getting pretty close right?"

"Yeah," I managed to spit out through clenched teeth. "We'll see."

_What the fuck do I need to apologize for?_

"Why don't we talk about something else for now?"

"Alright," Ron said mischievously, "what about Draco?"

"What about him?"

"He misses you."

"I really don't believe that," I snapped, shoving a book back onto the shelf a little too aggressively before grabbing a different one.

Ron's expression suddenly morphed from teasing to concerned when he realized I was completely serious. He was the only person who knew how important Draco had been to me, even though I had never verbalized it.

"Do you love him?"

My grip on the book tightened. There it was. That was the question I dreaded. I had heard it from multiple people over the past couple of years as a joke, but Ron was being sincere. I kept my eyes glued to the book in front of me and finally let the truth slip out. Keeping it to myself was too exhausting.

"I don't know. Maybe."

For once, Ron didn't gloat or tease me at all. He just looked sad.

"He could feel the same way?"

"Doubtful," I sighed. "I was just a game, Ron. That's it."

"You don't really believe that?"

"I believe what he said because there's no good reason to lie."

Ron fell silent and followed me to the front of the library to check out the five books I had decided to take with me.

"Maybe I should set you up with someone else?"

"You and your sister are more similar than I thought."

"Why would you say that to me?" Ron groaned as we made our way up the stairs outside the library to our next class.

I was so distracted by my conversation with Ron and my attempt to carefully arrange my books in my bag while I climbed the staircase, that I didn't even realize there was a group of boys talking to each other at the top of the stairs.

"_What the hell?"_ said a surprised voice.

I watched in horror as my books went flying out of my arms back down the stairs after I bumped into one of the broad-shouldered boys in front of me. The only reason I hadn't cracked my skull open against the marble floor was because Ron grabbed my arm to stabilize me.

_"What do you mean what the hell? _What are you even doing just standing in front of-?"

My indignant response was cut off when I looked up into a pair of green eyes. My eyes wandered a little more as I took note of his olive skin, dark hair and lean figure. There was something strangely familiar about the boy in front of me.

"Hey, I'm sorry man. Hermione this is the new kid. Or I guess he isn't new anymore, he moved here at the beginning of the school year," Ron introduced us.

The boy's face lit up in recognition and he broke into a broad grin.

"Hermione Granger. Long time no see. I was beginning to think you didn't actually go here."

A few more seconds passed before I was able to retrieve a faint memory from what felt like a lifetime ago. I remembered holding my breath as the boy in front of me leaned forward, and then pulling away from him at the last minute and ignoring the slightly disappointed expression on his face. I also remembered feeling noticed and special. There were no complicated emotions or expectations from other people influencing whether or not we should be talking. It had just been two teenagers getting to know each other during a walk home.

I relived those simple, sweet feelings that this boy gave me more than a year ago in France and easily returned his smile.

"Hi Blaise."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Remember to follow/favorite and review to let me know what you think!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Here's the next chapter! Draco's point of view is told in third person.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, only the plot. (:**

* * *

The first time he saw her. It was only a couple of years ago, but he swore it was a lot longer. If he didn't know better, he would've said he'd known her his whole life.

That was how Draco felt about Hermione. They didn't always get along, and he was a dick to her ninety-five percent of the time, but she was a part of him.

He remembered every detail about the first time he saw her. He had walked into class and resigned himself to another year of absolute boredom. That was all school, and even life, was to him. Something he needed to do, so he did it. Every day was the same routine. Go to school, go to practice, come home, do homework, go to bed. Then he'd wake up the next morning and repeat the pattern.

But then he saw her. She wasn't outwardly impressive in any way. She wore plain clothing, glasses and had frizzy, out of control hair. She was watching him, but when their eyes connected, she looked away. Objectively, there was nothing interesting about her that should have kept his attention. Yet, Draco couldn't look away.

From that point on, life wasn't boring. Life was her. It was the way her eyes seemed to sparkle when he made her laugh. The way she yelled and scrunched up her face when he made her angry. The way she fit in his arms and looked up at him with a lazy smile gracing her face the few times he'd held her. Every day was new, exciting and easy if she was there. It was addictive. He couldn't get enough of her or how alive she made him feel. No matter how many times he had tried to let her go, he'd find her again.

That was just how they were. Whether they wanted to or not, it felt like in a room full of hundreds of people they would always find each other. When one of them wanted to be hidden, the other would see them clearly. They were drawn to each other. It, whatever it was, felt inevitable.

But this time, he really fucked up. Draco probably had only one chance to get her to forgive him, if she was even willing to listen. He _hated_ apologizing to anyone, but it was obvious Hermione wasn't about to talk to him before he did.

It'd been a couple of months since the last time they talked to each other. Both of them were acting as if they didn't know each other. But enough was enough. He missed her and it was frustrating to see her talking to Harry and Ron again, while ignoring him.

Draco was determined to fix the problem today. He pushed open the doors leading to the courtyard and spotted a table with Luna, Padma and Ginny.

"Hey," he greeted before sitting down.

All three of them looked at each other with slight apprehension.

"You're not here to talk to Hermione, are you?" Padma asked, exchanging a nervous look with Ginny.

"Well, I was planning to," Draco confirmed suspiciously. "Is there a reason I shouldn't?"

"No! Of course not!" Ginny rushed to interject and aggressively shaking her head at Padma.

He eyed the two girls, knowing they were withholding something important. Draco then turned his steady gaze to Luna, who, while extremely sweet and kind, was the easiest to break.

"Luna," he drawled, shooting her a reassuring grin. "Come on, you can tell me."

Luna desperately looked at her friends for help.

"Well-, I mean I guess-"

"Oh look!" Ginny exclaimed suddenly, overly excited by the possible distraction. "There's my brother!"

Ron had just opened the large double doors and was making his way towards their table. Accompanying him, was a petite girl with curly, brown hair thrown into a messy bun. Draco immediately focused on her.

"And Hermione," Padma hissed, nudging Ginny, whose eyes widened.

"R-right," Ginny nodded. "Draco, maybe we should go-"

"Hey guys," a voice interrupted.

Draco nodded a greeting to Harry as he claimed the empty seat next to him. Before Ginny could try to get Draco's attention again and convince him to leave with her, Ron and Hermione arrived at the table. Ron quickly made his way over to Draco and took the other seat next to him.

"Hey man, why are we seating here today?"

"I thought it would be nice to catch up," Draco responded to Ron's question feigning innocence. "We haven't seen you four girls in a while."

Draco's attention was fixed on Hermione as he spoke. He needed to talk to her, but she wasn't even looking at him. It was like he didn't exist. Draco narrowed his eyes. Something was different.

She wasn't just ignoring him. Hermione was completely uninterested in the blonde sitting directly across the table from her. She turned to Ginny, who kept giving Draco worried glances, and talked to her like nothing was wrong.

_Well, two can play at that game, _he thought to himself before pulling out his phone and proceeding to act like he wasn't interested in their current situation.

He chose to appear unfazed by her refusal to acknowledge him and continued to listen to the table's mundane conversation as he scrolled through his messages. He knew Hermione better than that. She was still mad at him and it was only a matter of time before she would make it clear. Especially, if he didn't say anything to her first. The fact that he was sitting at her table nonchalantly was probably already grating on her nerves.

_Game, set..._

"So, Hermione," Harry started, grinning at her teasingly, "how's your boyfriend?"

_"What?"_ Draco's eyes shot up from his phone and met Hermione's brown ones.

_Match._

His sudden interest in the group's conversation did not go unnoticed. The other three girls and Ron were watching Draco uneasily. He hadn't looked up from his phone or said anything since Ron and Hermione sat down, but now he was too surprised to even pretend like he didn't care.

_Boyfriend?_

Draco froze. Boyfriend. Harry didn't just say boyfriend. He'd heard wrong. Or maybe Harry was wrong? Someone was wrong. There was no way Hermione Granger, the virginal bookworm sitting in front of him, who never showed even mild interest in the opposite sex, now had a boyfriend.

Hermione glared at Draco angrily, silently telling him he had no input on this topic. Draco also noticed she seemed slightly defensive after his outburst.

"He's not my boyfriend," she said, narrowing her eyes at Harry, but trying to hide a smile. "We annoy each other way too much."

"Right," Harry rolled his eyes. "I'm sure that's why you two stay up texting until like four in the morning almost every day."

"Shut up," she muttered blushing.

_Since when does she blush._

Draco could feel Ron's attention still on him and attempted to keep his expression neutral. In reality, his brain was absolutely racing as he tried to figure out who it was.

Ginny shot Draco an apologetic look before giving Hermione a weak smile.

"You should think about it though. Blaise seems nice."

_Blaise._

Draco felt cold. Blaise Zabini. He had met him a few times through Ron. The Italian boy had seemed fine in the past, but now Draco felt nauseous at the idea of him coming near Hermione.

"I don't think he likes me," Hermione said, dismissing the idea.

Draco's fists clenched. It was wrong. Of course, he didn't like her. And she didn't like him. It just wasn't right. There was nothing great about Blaise. He was athletic sure, but he was an idiot. Hermione was near the top of the class in terms of grades and deserved to be with someone just as intelligent. She'd get bored otherwise. And Blaise wasn't the stupidest person, but it was obvious he didn't give many fucks about school or anything even mildly important.

_That's it,_ Draco mentally reassured himself. _That's why it matters. Zabini's not good enough. It doesn't matter though, because it won't last. Hell, it won't even start._

* * *

He was wrong. It was a feeling he was experiencing more often. One Draco hated with every fiber of his being. He was never wrong unless it involved Hermione.

Her and Blaise were officially dating.

Apparently, Blaise had asked her on a date over the summer. Unfortunately, Hermione's parents decided she wasn't mature enough to date anyone. Her sister had come to the rescue, however, and covered for Hermione, taking her on the dates and allowing the young couple to get closer. As a result, the star-crossed teenagers returned for their sixth year completely in love.

At least, that was the romanticized version Ginny had excitedly told to Luna and Padma in Advanced Arithmetic, Level III. Draco watched as Hermione just rolled her eyes, laughing at the red head's antics.

"_Is that true_?" Draco asked Ron, slightly louder than he meant to.

Hermione's eyes immediately found his and she glared at him distastefully before turning back to the girls.

Ron lowered his voice before responding.

"Yeah, they've been together for like two months now," Ron scrutinized the blonde and continued. "Listen, I don't know what was going on between you two, but you need to drop it. She's happy with Blaise. Just let her enjoy herself, alright?"

Draco glared at him and returned his attention to Hermione. She was laughing loudly and talking to Padma excitedly about their plans for the upcoming weekend. She did seem happy. Happier than he'd seen her in a long time. Draco felt his nails press into his palm as his hand instinctively formed a fist. He hated Blaise, but if she was happy, he'd stay quiet for now.

_How long can it really last anyway,_ he thought.

"_Draco_," Ron said in a low voice, "drop it?"

"I'm not a dog," Draco snapped. "Nothing was going on between us anyway. Stop meddling so much though, you're starting to sound like your girlfriend."

Ron shot him a glare and Draco held up his hands in surrender.

"I'm only joking," he smirked.

Draco was saved from having to defend himself further by Mrs. Sprout walking in and introducing herself to the class, even though Luna and Ron were the only students new to the subject. Ginny immediately turned to Luna and began to inform the innocent girl about her conspiracy involving the cheerful teacher and her plan to kill all the students.

Draco soon found himself occupied by his thoughts, wondering why it bothered him so much that Hermione was dating Blaise. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her smiling as she responded to a text, using her phone under her desk so she wouldn't get in trouble. He felt a bitter twinge of annoyance. She was probably texting her boyfriend. Normally, she was such a tight ass about the rules. Draco used to be the only person who could get her to break them.

Hermione had grown over the summer. She had the same features and hair, but she looked older. Less like a girl, and more like a woman. She carried herself with a confidence Draco hadn't seen before. He'd had a childish crush on her at one point, sure, but neither of them were children anymore. In her case, people were starting to notice. To Draco, it wasn't surprising when people liked her. She was genuine and it was refreshing. He'd taken that for granted. The possibility of someone else coming along didn't even occur to him before.

_And maybe one day, we could have-_

Draco shook himself out of his thoughts. The idea of it was ridiculous. He had considered her when they were younger, but it couldn't happen now. As Marcus, his siblings and his parents continuously reminded him, there were certain expectations for Draco. His family was extremely wealthy and surrounded themselves with colleagues that had comparable standards, such as Marcus' and Pansy's families. His siblings were all doctors and lawyers married to spouses of equal social standing. Hermione didn't fit in with those kinds of people, but Draco didn't even want her to. She was kind and honest, not elitist. She was too good for them.

He couldn't be with her. Even if he wanted to. In fact, Draco was already risking a lot by spending so much of his time with the Weasleys and Harry since Marcus was at Hogwarts keeping an eye on him. Luckily, Marcus had agreed to keep his mouth shut, as long as Draco agreed to never be more than friends with Hermione. He'd been sloppy though, which led to last year's incident in the parking lot.

The class finally ended, and Draco began to put away his work when the door opened. Draco immediately felt his blood boil at the sight of Blaise Zabini in the doorway, waiting for Hermione to finish putting her stuff away. He quickly grew impatient and made his way to her desk.

"Why are you always the last person out of the class?" he asked.

Draco couldn't tell if he was teasing her, or if he was honestly annoyed. He felt his muscles tense as he fought back the urge to hit the boy. He sounded so fucking condescending.

"There's plenty of people still here," Hermione said amicably, smiling at him and taking his hand once her bag was closed. "Let's go."

Draco watched as they left the classroom, only relaxing once the door closed behind them. Ron gave him a worried look.

"Are you sure you're okay with this?"

"I'm fine," he muttered. "I have to be, don't I?"

The two friends exited the classroom together and made their way to the courtyard for lunch. Unfortunately, Marcus Flint was waiting for them at their usual table.

"Can you give us a minute?" Draco sighed.

Ron nodded before walking over to some members of the soccer team at an adjacent table.

"What do you want Marcus?"

"I heard about Hermione," he said. "You did the right thing. Your parents wouldn't have approved."

"Yeah, I know," Draco hissed. "What else?"

"I'll make sure to recommend you to my dad. You'll probably get a message from Harvard sometime at the beginning of next year."

"Thanks," Draco said, his eyes on the brunette walking into the courtyard with Blaise.

"You're not having second thoughts about our deal are you?" Marcus questioned, following Draco's line of sight until his gaze also landed on Hermione. "I'm not recommending someone who can't see the bigger picture. You need ambition, not distractions."

Harvard was everything to Draco. He needed to get accepted to have his parent's approval. It was prestigious enough where he would no longer be compared to his siblings and he could finally feel like he had done enough to prove his worth to his family. He couldn't give that up. Not even for her.

"No, I'm not."

* * *

The next month felt like absolute hell. Draco had agreed with Ron that the best thing to do was just to stay away from Hermione, but it felt like he saw her everywhere. With Blaise. It seemed like they were always together. Draco lost count of the number of times he had seen them in the hallway holding hands and flirting.

Blaise was apparently big on PDA. He was always trying to kiss her goodbye and didn't seem to care that there were other people in the hallway, including Draco, who would rather eat a slug than see the Italian boy touch Hermione. Luckily, she was very aware of the other students and grudgingly allowed him to kiss her temple or cheek before leaving. Never on the lips though. Draco was thankful for that small blessing. He thought it would kill him if he ever saw them kiss.

"It's Hermione's birthday today," Ron said casually as they walked to the locker room.

"And I care because?"

"She's coming to the game."

Draco stopped in his tracks. Hermione never came to games. Even though Ron and Harry, two of her best friends, were on the team, she still didn't go. She claimed she had too much to do to spend her time going to every soccer game and since there were hundreds of other people going, Ron and Harry wouldn't even notice her absence.

It was also homecoming night, which Hermione pretty much hated. Draco recalled her saying it was frivolous and a waste of time and money when he'd asked her about it last year.

"She wouldn't."

"Blaise convinced her. He gave her a mixtape and some birthday card about how much he loved her and said they'd have a lot of fun together if she went," Ron shrugged. "She's going for him, I guess."

Draco turned to the locker in front of him and punched it once as hard as he could. It's contents rattled and a hush fell over the room's occupants. Thankfully, Ron remained silent as well. Draco took deep breaths until he could think clearly again.

He was furious. He had asked Hermione to come to countless games over the past couple of years and she always said no. He always noticed she wasn't in the crowd. Every fucking time. If this was the only time she would ever see him on the field, then he definitely wasn't going to lose.

"Get ready," he growled to his teammates.

* * *

"_Malfoy, what the fuck are you doing?_"

"Shit," Draco cursed under his breath as Adrian shouted at him. He had let someone easily steal the ball from him and score another goal. They were down by three now.

"_Draco Malfoy get your ass over here!_"

He sighed and motioned to the referee for another timeout before jogging over to Coach Hooch.

"What are you _doing_ out there? Your entire team is playing like shit and you're the worst out of all of them! Keep this up and you won't be captain anymore!

Draco rolled his eyes and turned his attention back towards the bleachers, where it had been all evening. It took him a few seconds to spot Hermione again. He saw her through all of the streamers and banners carried by the hundreds of excited students in the stands almost as soon as he walked onto the field. The stadium lights were blinding, but he could still clearly see how upset she was. Once he'd seen her upset, all of his earlier motivation to win went out the window and now all that mattered was making sure she was okay.

It was her birthday, her seventeenth birthday, and Hermione was all alone. Her asshole of a boyfriend ditched her after convincing her to come to the game. Ginny and Lavender, much to Ginny's undisguised chagrin, were sitting with Hermione, but neither one of them were able to console her. From the field, Draco could see Hermione weakly smile from time to time and nod in response to their attempts to talk to her. It was obvious she wasn't paying attention to anything though.

"Are you even listening to me Mr. Malfoy?"

"I am. Sorry," Draco apologized. "I'm just a little distracted."

Coach Hooch looked at him for a moment longer before rubbing her forehead tiredly.

"Look, I know we all have off days and other things to deal with in our lives, but you can't afford to mess this up. There are college scouts in the bleachers and they're primarily looking at you."

"I know. I'll pull it together."

Facing the rest of the team, Draco called them over for a huddle.

"Alright, it's going to be hard, but we can still win this. We've beaten the shit out of this team so many times that it's fucking embarrassing if we don't."

His teammates nodded in acknowledgement before beginning to strategize.

"Okay, so I've noticed their defense is weak on the left side. If we can-"

Draco found his attention drifting back towards the stands as Theo explained his plan. She was angry now and Draco soon realized why. Blaise was making his way to her through the stands, an entire hour late. Hermione was glaring and pushing him away, but he managed to pull her into his arms and plant a deep kiss on her lips.

Draco's heart stopped beating. He couldn't tear his eyes away from the sight of them kissing. His body was quickly going numb and it felt like someone had just punched him in the gut repeatedly. When they finally separated, after what seemed like a century, Hermione was smiling brightly with her arms wrapped around his neck.

"Malfoy."

_"What?"_ Draco snapped, trying to regain control of his emotions. The rest of the team was staring at him with a mixture of confusion and worry.

"Are you good, man?" Harry questioned, placing his hand on the blonde's shoulder.

Draco shook him off.

"I'm fine," he managed through clenched teeth. The image of Hermione and Blaise was burned into his memory and every time he blinked; he saw it like it was happening right in front of him over and over again.

Draco felt adrenaline rushing through his body, fueled by his anger as he remembered how Blaise's arms were wrapped around her, sprinkling kisses on her face.

"Let's win this."

* * *

Draco slammed his locker door shut, the sound echoing in the empty room. The only other sound was the water from the a lone shower. Ron had decided to shower immediately after the game instead of waiting until he got home. He was also taking a significantly long time. It didn't take a genius to figure out what, or rather who, he was waiting for.

They won the game. Draco should've been happy. He played flawlessly ever since the timeout and scored the winning goal, assisting in the other three. In fact, he was elated at first, knowing the college scouts and Hermione would have seen one of his best plays. Then he turned towards the stands. She was gone. Draco didn't know when she left, but she missed seeing him score the winning goal. Blaise was gone too.

_They're probably off celebrating her birthday_, Draco winced at the idea of them together, recalling what happened earlier in the stands for the hundredth time.

Slinging his gym bag over his shoulder, Draco finally exited the locker room.

"You did good today," a feminine voice called.

Draco spun around and came face to face with Lavender, leaning against the brick wall next to the locker room.

"Thanks," he muttered before continuing towards his car.

"I'm not really a fan of Blaise either," Lavender said casually, following him. "I saw you watching them during the game."

"You're not a fan of him because he called you out for leading Ron on for years."

"He didn't have a right to talk to me about that."

"Well someone had to."

"Are you going to listen to my plan or not?"

Draco sighed and threw his bag into the passenger seat of the Ferrari.

"What plan?"

"Well," Lavender began, grinning mischievously, "I want them broken up. And I'm sure you do too. Hermione won't listen to me, but she might break up with him if you tell her to."

"As much as I love being a nosy bitch," Draco said, unlocking his car and getting into the driver's seat, "I'm going to have to pass. She seems happy, so maybe just leave her alone."

"She doesn't know what's good for her."

"Right, but you do."

"I know a boyfriend who shows up an hour late on a date he convinced her to go on in the first place isn't good. In fact. you want to know why he was late?" Lavender said. "It was because he was hanging out with a bunch of his friends and he didn't think it would be a big deal if he missed the game and just hung out with her afterwards. But that's not even the worst part! Instead of telling her himself, Hermione found out from Dean that he wasn't coming. Blaise only showed up an hour later because Hermione texted him saying she was pissed."

Draco vision blurred as he saw red. He wanted to fucking murder that kid. Why the fuck did he think he could just ditch his girlfriend on her birthday? His grip tightened on the steering wheel, turning his knuckles white.

"And you know what else?" Lavender continued, oblivious to the blonde's visceral reaction to her gossip. "Blaise told Ron Hermione gave him a blowjob. He probably pressured her into it. We all know Hermione's a fucking prude, so she would never do it otherwise."

Draco tensed, his attention snapping back to Lavender and away from plotting how to kill Blaise.

"What did you just say?"

"Hermione's a prude?"

"No before that."

"Oh, Hermione gave Blaise oral."

Draco thought for a minute longer before he realized why this piece of information stuck out to him.

"A month ago," Draco practically snarled, "there was a rumor going around about Hermione doing that. Did you start it?"

"Well, it's not a rumor if it's true."

_"Brown!_"

"_Alright!_" Lavender exclaimed, quickly growing alarmed by how angry Draco was. "Yeah, I told a few people, because it's wrong. I'm just worried about her. Hermione shouldn't be doing that kind of stuff! It makes her seem slutty."

"Oh, because having a sex life with her boyfriend makes her slutty now? But if she doesn't have one, then she's a prude?"

Draco choked down the immediate urge to throw up at the idea of Hermione and Blaise having sex and continued.

"Seems hypocritical. Especially because you and I both know the reason you're here so late is to _congratulate_ your boyfriend in the locker room."

"That's different-"

"_No, it's not_ Brown. Look, I hate Zabini. I think he's a piece of shit and everything you've said about him proves it. But I hate him because I don't think he's good enough for Hermione. It doesn't matter though, because I've already proven to her I'm not a great friend. That goes for you too even though you pretend you care about her. So just do everyone a favor and focus on your own fucking relationship instead of everyone else's."

With that, Draco turned on the engine of the car and tore out of the parking lot, not bothering to wait for a response.

* * *

_Blaise and Hermione_.

It felt wrong. As Draco sped through the street, it was all he could focus on. Everything just felt wrong.

He made a sharp turn, causing his tires to squeal loudly. Another turn and he finally parked the car. He'd been driving on autopilot ever since he left the school. Looking around at his surroundings, Draco realized he was at their place. It used to be just his, but ever since he brought her there less than a year ago, he felt like it was theirs.

He got out of the car and sat on the hood. It was chilly, but he didn't feel anything as he looked at the flowers bending because of the wind sweeping through the meadow. It was dark, almost too dark to see. Once his eyes adjusted to the moonlight, Draco spotted where they'd sat when he brought her here the first time. He remembered how it felt to hold her so close, the smell of cinnamon surrounding him. Every time he brought her here after that, he would watch her. She would be reading or doing homework, and he would just watch. It fascinated him how easy it was to read her to anyone who cared enough to notice. She bit on the tip of her pencil when she was confused. Tapped her lips when she was feeling thoughtful. And when she was really frustrated, she would tie her hair up in a bun and sigh angrily. That's when he knew it was time to take away her homework and have her just relax with him for a little longer before taking her home.

While Draco liked her hair down, he also liked it when it was up. She seemed more relaxed when her curly hair was resting on her shoulders, but there was something about watching her work with her hair tied up that made him stop and stare. He could clearly see her face during those moments. Every flicker of each emotion was completely obvious to him without her hair blocking those expressive eyes. From her exhaustion, frustration and elation. It was all written clearly across her face when her hair was up. He never needed to guess with her, but she could still easily surprise him with how inquisitive and passionate she was.

One time, Blaise had walked her to their Advanced Arithmetic class and taken her hair out her bun, claiming she looked nicer with her hair down and it bothered him that she didn't wear it like that more often. Draco clenched his pen in his fist tightly, causing it to snap in half. She looked beautiful either way. Hermione just smiled and watched Blaise leave, then as soon as he was out of eyesight, she pulled another hair tie from her pocket.

Draco grinned to himself as he recalled the brief moment which gave him hope that she was still the same girl who did whatever she wanted. It was easier for both of them to do that when they were younger. Now, it seemed like growing up meant they couldn't do what they wanted anymore. They had to consider what other people, like their families and friends, wanted for them and their separate futures.

Draco sighed. He needed to let her go. Forever this time. As badly as he wanted her to be, she wasn't his future.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think! (:**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hello! Here's this week's chapter! I held off on deciding what state they are in, but I've decided they're from New York because that's what works best for the rest of this story. (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters, just the plot.**

* * *

Three long years and this was what it came down to. I watched him pull into the parking lot of the park. Half an hour after I got there. I wasn't even surprised, but I was pissed that he blamed me for being late. According to him, it was my fault that he was late because he'd said sometime after six, not at six.

"He's finally here?" Hannah asked, giving me a sympathetic look.

"Yeah," I muttered. "That's his car."

"Good luck," she gave my hand a reassuring squeeze. "I love you and as soon as you're done text me and I'll take you to Ginny's."

"Okay."

"I'm sorry I can't hang out tonight."

"It's okay, really."

I got out of the car, picking up the paper bag containing a variety of jewelry, clothes and stuffed animals and closing the door behind me. Hannah rolled down her passenger window.

"You've got this, Hermione."

I tried to give her a smile, which probably looked more like a grimace, before turning toward the silver Nissan parked behind Hannah. I barely registered the sound of Hannah's car starting when she left the park because the majority of my attention was fixed on the boy sitting in his car waiting for me. Less than two weeks ago, we celebrated our three year anniversary. Less than a week ago, we spent the entire day together and he told me he loved me more than anything. Then he asked me if I wanted to fool around, which was oh so romantic. Then three days ago, he texted me while I was on vacation with my family and told me he realized a part of him just didn't love me anymore, which led to him wanting to break up. Today, we were meeting in some local park for my benefit to break up in person for the second time during our relationship.

_Third time, _I reminded myself.

The first time happened during our sixth year at Hogwarts and lasted for a few hours. It was also been over text while I was on vacation. The next morning, Blaise texted me saying he was sorry and really regretted it. I usually didn't count that time since it seemed so quick and insignificant, but maybe if I had I wouldn't be in this situation now.

The second time was two days before I started classes at college. He had thought it was the day before. I don't know how that was supposed to make it better. It was also over text and we were broken up for close to three months until he saw a picture of some boy kissing my cheek on my friend's twitter. That led to him messaging her and saying that he hoped my new "boyfriend" knew what he was getting into. After a long argument between the two of them, Blaise broke down and said he still loved me and couldn't forget about me. He said he thought about me everyday and was miserable. We got back together shortly afterwards, and, eight months later, here we were again.

_I'm such an idiot. It's my fault I'm going through this again._

"Hey," I said, trying to find some part of me that still cared as I slid into the front seat.

"Hi."

For the past three days, I thought about everything I could say to try and convince him to give this decision some more thought. After three years together, I wanted him to be sure that this was what he wanted. But, now that we were in his car together and he was looking at me like I was a stranger, I was just tired. I waited for the blinding pain I'd felt the last two times we'd gone through this, but it wasn't coming. My heart wasn't breaking this time. It felt like it was already broken a long time ago.

"Did you want to talk about something," Blaise snapped, quickly growing impatient with my silence.

"Oh. Um, yeah."

I quickly tried to gather my thoughts and remember what it was I rehearsed with Ginny over the phone a few days ago.

"Can I know why this is happening?"

"I already told you."

"Humor me then."

He sighed and repeated his text to me almost verbatim.

"I just realized a part of me doesn't love you anymore. I don't love you anymore. I know it's sudden, but sometimes things like that just happen. I've talked to some people about it and they say it works out like that sometimes."

_After three years?_

"Uh huh," I said absentmindedly, waiting for the pain that should have accompanied the words "I don't love you anymore," but it never came.

"This has nothing to do with us arguing these past couple of days?"

"No, I just don't love you."

"Do you think we should maybe give it a week to make sure this time?" I asked.

"No, Hermione. I don't love you anymore."

"Or maybe just the rest of today even?"

"_NO!_"

I jumped in my seat at the sudden anger in his voice.

_Is the idea of being with me for another day that bad?_

"You know what Hermione?" he said.

_I don't really think I want to know what._

"We're here together right now and you see those kids playing basketball over there?"

I directed my attention to the group of what looked like high school students running around in the heat on the basketball court in front of the parked car.

"I would rather be over there playing basketball with them than here with you and that's what I've been thinking about instead of you and this conversation. Because I. Don't. Love. You."

I blinked slowly in response.

_Well that was aggressive._

I could feel my temper rising and took deep breaths to calm myself down. We were nineteen years old now and I still felt like I was dealing with a child.

"What about last weekend? You told me you loved me then and that everything was alright."

"I was just acting," he blurted out. "I wanted you to be happy, so I just acted like that."

_Acting. He acted like we were okay and asked if we could have sex that day._

I sighed out of pure exhaustion.

_Just when I thought this couldn't get more fucked up._

"I don't want to spend anymore time with you because I don't love you," he continued, not bothering to wait for my response.

"Yeah, I got that the first few times you said it," I said under my breath, looking back out the window and wishing I was anywhere else.

He, of course, didn't hear me. Sometimes it felt like he never did.

"I don't see myself with you anymore and I don't regret our time together, but it's over and I don't want to be with you."

"Please shut up."

"I know you think this is like last time, but it isn't."

"Shut up."

"I just don't love you anymore. No part of me loves you anymore."

_"SHUT UP! FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE SHUT UP! _For once in your fucking life just _shut up_ and listen to me!" I finally screamed, my hands were clenched into fists and my eyes were squeezed shut tightly.

I don't know why I was crying. I should be angry, and a large part of me was, but the tears were still falling out of the corners of my eyes. Blaise wordlessly reached into the glove compartment and handed me a couple of McDonald's napkins he had since god knows when.

_Ah yes, that will fix everything you did. A couple of dirty old napkins._

I took them and just held them in my hand, not bothering to use them. If he thought I was about to put those suspicious pieces of paper on my face, he had another thing coming. His car wasn't the most disgusting thing in the world, but it definitely wasn't clean. I wasn't going to take any chances.

I sighed and faced the green eyed boy in the drivers seat. I'd loved him so much. He was my first kiss and he'd said he wanted to be my last. I was skeptical at first, not wanting to trust that he wouldn't leave me like everyone else, especially when he'd already done so, but eventually he wore me down and I'd trusted him completely. There were things he knew that I never told anyone else. He'd seen me cry. As a matter of fact, he'd seen me cry countless times. Part of me thought that was why this was happening, because maybe he thought I was unhappy. Maybe I was.

"I love you," I whispered brokenly. "I love you so much."

Blaise wouldn't look at me, choosing instead to stare resolutely ahead with his hands clenched around the steering wheel.

"That's why I took you back. I love you. I didn't just want to be with someone, and I wasn't lonely. I wanted you. And I've never been happier than I was the day you came back to me. You were everything to me. I trusted you with so much and I don't regret a moment with you. It wasn't always perfect, but these past eight months were amazing to me."

Blaise started the car and began to drive around the parking lot.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to just sit here," he bit out through clenched teeth.

"Uh, alright I guess?" I tried to remember what I'd been saying in vain.

When we were together and happy, it felt amazing. But lately it felt like it was too hard to make him happy. I watched him drive in circles in the parking lot for a little bit and wondered how we got here.

_It shouldn't be this hard. Should it?_

"Alright, as much as I love confessing my feelings to the side of your head while you drive around," I sighed in frustration, "could you please just park the damn car?"

"I don't want to."

"_JUST PARK THE FUCKING CAR!"_

He swung into a parking space and turned towards me.

"_FINE! _Is this enough eye contact for you? Does it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to hear about how much you love me?"

My instinct was to console him and say that I was sorry. I still wanted to make him happy. It pissed me off.

_Fuck making him happy._

"Oh, yeah," I scoffed. "I'm sorry, this is so difficult for you. I can't imagine what you're going through. My deepest condolences. It must be so hard to have me in your life for what? Another hour? You can't just grow the fuck up for one hour so that I can say goodbye to you? We're never going to fucking see each other again!"

He fell silent at that.

"That's harsh."

"Excuse me?" I asked incredulously.

"I said that's harsh. You don't know if we'll never see each other again."

I just stared at him.

"Do you want to see me before I go back off to college?"

"No."

"What about during winter break?"

"No."

"What about an entire year from now?"

"Not right now no."

"So please tell me, Blaise," I said slowly, wondering if he was always this stupid or if this was just for my benefit, "when exactly do you think we would ever see each other?"

"Are you done talking or is there more you wanted to say?" he muttered, completely ignoring me.

I could feel my nails biting into my skin as I fought to control my temper. All I wanted, was an amicable breakup. After three years, I didn't know why we couldn't just stay friends. Despite my best attempts to be nice, he was very determined to be as much of an asshole as possible.

"If you ever feel like this is a mistake, let me know. I'll forgive you," I said almost mechanically.

_I don't know if that's true anymore._

They were just words at this point. But I couldn't mean the things I had planned to tell him when he was like this. There was so much more I wanted to say because I did loved him. More than I'd ever loved anyone else. I didn't want it to end like this when this wasn't who he was to me.

"Anything else?"

But I was so fucking tired. I looked at the boy I'd loved so much and the slight smirk on his face and wondered how he could suddenly be so cruel. I didn't recognize him anymore. A week ago I could, but now? I couldn't even see the boy who'd been so sweet and caring to me.

I knew he had a problem dealing with his emotions and whenever he was sad, he reacted angrily. But this was ridiculous. I didn't want this. I didn't care how upset he was, I wasn't willing to make excuses for him anymore. I was tired of trying to figure him out and not knowing whether he was lying to me. I was tired of feeling guilty for not believing him when he said he loved me after how much he hurt me over and over again. I was tired of thinking that I had to always believe in him because he didn't believe in himself.

"No," I managed to choke out. "I'm done."

Blaise looked surprised at that and nodded slowly.

"Someone coming to pick you up?"

"Yeah, you can just drop me off here."

"I'll wait," he insisted.

"It's fine."

"How bad of a person do you think I am?"

He sounded surprised and I chose not to answer him, staying in the car silently.

"Your stuff and some gifts you got me are in here," I said, nudging the bag on the floor in front of me with my foot.

"Okay."

We sat in silence together for awhile and I felt the tears I'd been trying to hold back fall freely. I could never stop myself from crying when Blaise was there.

I could see him looking for more napkins through my tears and motioned for him to stop.

"I'm fine."

"Hermione-"

"I'm fine, Blaise."

"That doesn't work on me."

Someone said that to me before, but it'd been so long that the memory was almost gone now. All I remembered were a pair of stormy grey eyes and the smell of sandalwood. I shook my head, trying to focus again on the boy in front of me.

"I don't think that matters anymore," I shrugged as I got out of the car, watching Hannah pull into the parking lot.

Blaise also got out of the car and turned towards me. After a brief moment of hesitation, I ran towards him and wrapped my arms around his neck, holding him tightly against me. Sobs wracked my body while he just held me.

I finally knew why I was crying. I was crying because, as angry as I was at the boy in front of me, I loved him. Which meant I was worried about him. His parents thought he was a screw up, his teachers thought he was a screw up, he even thought he was a screw up. But I didn't. I wanted him to believe in himself the way I did, but I couldn't keep hurting myself trying to make him feel better. He had such big dreams for himself and I didn't doubt for a second that he could achieve all of them. I knew he was better than this mess, but he didn't think so.

Last time we broke up, he had gotten high every single night because he said he couldn't sleep without me. He quit the track team and stopped going to a lot of his classes. He even started smoking cigarettes. Once we were back together though, his entire attitude changed, and he was telling me how much he needed me in his life to motivate him to be a better person. I didn't want that pressure now, not when I needed to think about myself.

"You need to go Hermione," he said softly, pulling away from me a little.

Which brought me to the second reason I was crying. I was mourning myself. I couldn't even recognize the person I was now. I had put so many of my own plans away to make sure that the boy in front of me was happy. I was complacent and content. It felt like I used to be so much more than that.

I loved him, but he was a child. He hadn't grown up yet, while I did. Our relationship wasn't enough for me anymore. I didn't even want kids and it felt like I spent all of my free time trying to take care of him and teach him how to be a good person. It shouldn't have been my job to teach him how to be decent. I wasn't his mother. Hell, I wasn't even motherly. It just wasn't in my nature to take care of people like they were children.

I loved him, but it really wasn't enough this time. It still hurt like a bitch though.

I cupped the side of his face and placed a soft kiss on his cheek.

"I love you."

"I know."

* * *

"That's it? He just said I know?"

"Yup," I said as I spread some cream cheese on a bagel.

"I'm going to kill him."

Dean, Ginny and I were all at the Weasley's house. Hannah drove me straight there after my breakup, saying that she would call the next day and dropping me off.

Once I entered the house, Ginny took one glance at my tear stained face and ushered all of her siblings and both of her parents upstairs, placing me in the living room with a stack of bagels. I didn't know why she'd chosen to give me bagels as comfort food, but wisely decided not to question it. An hour later, I called Dean and asked if he would come over too. We'd become closer during our sixth year at Hogwarts and started talking a lot more after he and Susan broke up before college.

In fact, Dean actually took care of me the first time I got drunk after Blaise and I broke up last year. I internally winced at that memory. While Dean had been nice and took care of me, I had been a complete mess and threatened to murder him in his sleep if he ever spoke of it afterwards. Of course, he immediately told Ginny, Harry, Padma and Luna because he was a backstabbing little shit.

Despite that incident, Dean was still a very good friend. I was honestly surprised he was there though because he sounded like he was busy with friends over the phone. Apparently, he'd ditched them to come join our little pity party instead.

"You're objectively pretty," a voice broke through my thoughts. I jumped, looking up to find Dean and Ginny both facing me. It took me a minute to realize that the voice I had heard was male.

_Was that supposed to be a compliment?_

"Uh, thanks?" I said, glancing at Ginny for some kind of explanation. She appeared just as confused as I was about the sudden change in topic.

"So, Ginny," I started, after the ensuing silence became too much for me to handle, "how do you like Syracuse?"

"I hate it," she muttered angrily. "But, it's easy. And I only hate it because you guys aren't there, so I guess it's okay."

Ginny enrolled herself at Syracuse University after deciding it was a better fit for her. It was closer to her parents and she liked the campus a lot more than she liked the other colleges she looked at. Unfortunately, Ron, Padma, Luna, Dean and I had all decided to go to NYU, leaving her with just Harry and Blaise for company. Well, I guess just Harry now.

"You know we wouldn't get any work done if you went to NYU with us," I grinned at her.

"That's very true. How is my dear brother by the way?"

I frowned at that. Ron and Lavender broke up halfway through our seventh year at Hogwarts, but he'd been drifting away from the rest of us even before that. Their breakup was messy, filled with random hookups with each other, and, in Lavender's case, with other people. Ron and I managed to stay in touch during our first semester of college, but once I started dating Blaise again we'd stopped talking to each other. I'd assumed that Ginny would know more about him than I did.

"Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I asked. "You know, since you're his twin and everything?"

"Honey, that boy barely talks to me anymore. I haven't seen him since winter break when we all had to come home for Percy's wedding."

Their brother's wedding was in January, which meant Ginny hadn't spoken to Ron in about six months.

"That's still better than me," I sighed. "I haven't seen him since last November."

"Don't take it personally," she said, giving me a sympathetic look. Ginny knew how close the two of us were in the past. "He's been rough around the edges ever since Lavender got her demon talons in him."

"Speaking of, anyone know how Lavender's doing?" Dean asked both of us.

"That name shall not be spoken in this household."

"You literally just said her name."

"Well, It's my house. I make the rules."

"She said she was having fun at Cornell last time I talked to her," I interjected before Dean could argue more with the redhead, "which was probably over winter break."

"I can't believe you're still friends with her," Ginny grumbled to herself, angrily spreading cream cheese over her bagel.

"Friends is a strong word. Last time Blaise and I-"

"Another name that shall not be spoken in the household."

I rolled my eyes and continued.

"Last time He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named and I broke up, Lavender was nice to me and apologized for a bunch of shit. So we're okay with each other I guess."

Ginny just grumbled more to herself and took a bite out of her bagel in response.

"Just be careful."

I nodded in response, picking up another bagel and splitting it with Dean.

"What about Malfoy?"

I felt myself instinctively tense at Dean's question.

"He texts me saying he misses me every once in awhile and say we need to hang out when he gets back into town," Ginny shrugged. "But we never do. I assume he's still the same hoe he was in high school. He's probably fucked his way through most of your class at NYU by now. Do you guys ever see him?"

Dean shook his head no.

"A couple of times," I said.

I'd seen him about three times during our first semester, and every time I either ducked into a building or ran away in the opposite direction. There was no real reason to react like that since he probably wouldn't even acknowledge me if he'd seen me, but for some reason whenever I saw him my only thought was that I needed to immediately escape. I hadn't seen him at all since then. Part of me wondered if he managed to transfer to Harvard like he told Ron he would during our seventh year.

Ginny nodded in acknowledgement and then gave me a wicked grin before facing Dean.

"So, Thomas," she began casually. Almost too casually. "you over Bones yet?"

"Um, yeah I guess so. We broke up a year ago."

"Do you have your eye on anyone?" Ginny winked at the brunette, causing him to shift uncomfortably in his chair as he tried to avoid looking directly at her.

"Down Gin," I said, taking pity on Dean.

"What? I'm just seeing if he's interested. The boy's cute, we all know it. Plenty of people would be interested in him. Plus, I haven't been with anyone since Mallory and I'm fucking pissed about it."

"Plenty of people?" he asked.

"Mhhm. You're looking at one of them honey," Ginny purred at him, grinning flirtatiously.

Dean gulped in slight fear, which was perfectly understandable considering who he was talking to. I considered the possibility of them together for a moment and then dismissed the idea. Dean was very traditional when it came to dating, so he and Ginny probably wouldn't work out. In fact, it would most likely end with her murdering him.

I kicked her with my foot.

"Stop it. You're scaring him."'

"Fine," she groaned and gave him another glance. "You couldn't handle me anyway darling."

"I'm definitely not arguing with that," Dean agreed. "I think I'm going to get going. Do you want me to give you a ride home, Hermione?"

I glanced at the clock above Ginny's sofa and saw that it was almost two in the morning.

_My parents are going to kill me._

"Yes, please. I'll see you later Ginny?"

"Definitely," she said as she walked us to the door. "You're seeing Harry tomorrow, right?"

"That's the plan."

"That'll be good for you." She pulled me into a tight hug and then held me at arm's length. "I missed you."

I smiled fondly at the tall girl. I knew Ginny wasn't just talking about when we were away at college. I'd been distant ever since our sixth year, but it felt nice to reconnect with her again.

"I missed you too."

"You get her home safe."

"I'll do my best," Dean grinned, giving her a hug goodbye too before we both headed towards the driveway.

"Thanks for coming over by the way," I said as I looked out the window while he started the car and left Ginny's neighborhood.

"No problem man. I'm here for you. Are you feeling alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," I said smiling at him. Overall, I felt better after spending time with both of them. I still thought about Blaise a lot and missed him but being with them made it a lot easier to deal with. "I'm a little sad, but I'll be okay. You didn't need to cancel your plans to make sure I was good though."

By then we had reached my house and he parked the car as I unbuckled my seat belt and opened the door.

"Nah, don't worry about it. I'm sure you'd do the same for me right?" Dean thought for a moment before amending his statement. "Actually, you probably wouldn't."

_Excuse me?_

I immediately stopped getting out of the car and spun in my seat to face him.

"I will have you know that I would definitely be there for you! It's not my fault you don't ask me to be! And when you and Susan broke up, I was-" I cut myself off when I noticed he was laughing. "That's not funny."

"It kind of is. You get all high pitched and squinty whenever you get angry. It's adorable."

_ADORABLE?_

I opened my mouth, fully prepared to yell at him, but he quickly interrupted me.

"I'm joking."

"Sure, you are," I hesitated, thinking about what he said. "You know I care about you a lot, right?"

"Really?" Dean asked. I couldn't interpret the look he was giving me, but it made me shift in my seat self-consciously.

"Of course," I said frowning in confusion, "I thought that was obvious."

"Okay. I'll see you later?"

"Sure. I'll text you. Bye, Dean."

"Bye, Hermione."

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think! (:**


	10. Chapter 10

**_Hello! Sorry for the late upload! Things have been really hectic lately but hopefully the longer than normal chapter makes up for it!_**

**_Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, just the plot._**

* * *

_"So, tell me," Blaise held me closer to him and pulled the bed covers over us, "how many times have you moved?"_

_I laughed and kissed his cheek before tucking my head underneath his chin._

_"Why do you want to know so much about me all of a sudden?"_

_"Well, I thought I knew you so well, but it turns out there's a whole part of your life I don't know anything about."_

_"You mean my childhood? When you didn't actually know me?"_

_Blaise rolled his eyes and tickled my side. I tried to muffle my laughter as I squirmed away from his fingers, gasping for breath._

_"Yes smartass. I want to know more about when you were a kid."_

_"Okay fine!" I managed through my giggles. "I'll tell you, just please stop."_

_He grinned in victory and wrapped his arms back around me, holding me securely against him._

_"I was born in Pittsburgh, but I don't remember it at all. We moved when I was six months old because my parents hated it there. Then I lived in Wisconsin for a while, but I don't remember that either. My sister used to tell me that it looked like it was out of a fairy tale though. She told me we lived in a small, chocolate colored house and there was a lot of snow during the winter. There were also little raspberry bushes in the front yard that deer would come and eat from."_

_Blaise had started running his fingers through my hair at that point while he listened to me. He always loved playing with my hair._

_"Then we moved to California," I continued, resting my head on his chest. "We lived near my aunt and uncle. They're really sweet people. You'd like them. My aunt is an amazing cook and my uncle is really funny. I was always at their house growing up."_

_"How many aunts and uncles do you have?"_

_"Way too many, but they're my closest relatives. She's my mom's only sister and my dad's an only child. I'm related to all my other aunts and uncles through my grandparents."_

_"Mhhm," he hummed, gently tucking my hair behind my ear. "What about after California?"_

_"New York," I whispered. I was quickly falling asleep as I listened to his slow, steady heartbeat underneath my head. "I moved to New York and I met you."_

_He shifted our position so that he could lie on his side and look at my face._

_"I'm glad you did," he said. I smiled back at him and snuggled closer. "If you didn't, I wouldn't get to enjoy being in your giant ass house."_

_I hit Blaise's chest, but he just laughed and held me tighter. We were in my room in the middle of the night after I snuck him in through the window. It was a ritual we'd grown used to. Unfortunately, Blaise always needed to leave as early as possible in the morning to avoid getting caught by my parents, who still refused to acknowledge that I even liked someone after almost a year of dating him. Of course, they didn't know we were going on dates, but I still mentioned Blaise from time to time in the hope that they would eventually want to get to know him._

_"You have a big house," I said._

_Blaise's family was just as rich as Draco, Marcus or Pansy's, but mine weren't. My family was upper middle class, which meant we were comfortable, but didn't spend our extra money on fancy sports cars and second homes in Hawaii._

_"That's my stepdad's house," he refuted, "not mine. I barely belong there with them."_

_I frowned and moved away a little so that I could get a better look at him. I knew he and his stepdad didn't really get along, making it hard to be closer to his two younger brothers as a result. Blaise's stepdad hated him ever since he was four years old and met his mother. I could only assume that it had something to do with the fact that Blaise was another man's son. It didn't help that his mother often seemed to neglect Blaise because she had so much to do, including taking care of his siblings. He didn't usually go into detail about it, preferring to ignore his problems at home in favor of enjoying the moment with me._

_I reached forward and placed a quick kiss on his nose, drawing his attention back to me and away from whatever he was thinking about that was making him so upset._

_"You know I love you?"_

_His frown immediately changed into that natural, easy-going smile that made my heart skip a beat. He nodded._

_"I love you," he whispered, showering my face with kisses._

_"How much?" __I asked, already knowing the answer._

_"So much."_

I woke up gasping for breath with my heart racing. A quick glance around me revealed that I had fallen asleep on a bench close to the center of NYU. I took deep breaths in an attempt to calm myself down and drank a little more of the burning liquid contained in the bottle next to me.

I had those dreams repeatedly ever since we broke up. It was upsetting, but I eventually grew used to the pain those memories brought.

Looking back on the past three months, it wasn't too difficult to figure out how I got to this point. Luckily for me, the whole point of my current situation was to forget everything about this summer.

I glanced at my phone screen again to check the time.

One hour left. Which meant I'd spent the past fifteen minutes sleeping.

I knew I shouldn't be outside, or even awake right then. I should go to sleep or do homework or even talk to Luna and Padma. I shouldn't be on a bench in the middle of campus with a bottle of tequila in one hand and one of my heeled ankle boots in the other. I never did this, but I made an exception for today's "special occasion."

_I have work tomorrow_.

I rolled my eyes at that thought.

_Ah, yes brain welcome back. Where were you an hour ago when I first picked up the bottle?_

I experimentally reached down and poked my ankle, hissing at the pain and frowning.

_Yup, it still hurts._

Another reason why wandering through a college campus in the middle of the night while drunk wasn't a good idea. You could trip on a sidewalk and twist your ankle, like I had brilliantly done twenty minutes ago.

I lifted my leg and stretched it out next to me on the bench, leaning back against an armrest and taking another swig from the bottle. At least no one else was awake to witness my humiliation.

I checked the time once again.

_Fifty minutes left._

Part of me wanted it to be over, but I also dreaded it. In fifty minutes, it wouldn't matter either way. I couldn't stop time and I couldn't undo what was already done, which was something I was reminded of more and more often lately.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, swinging the bottle of alcohol in my hand back and forth and listening to the sounds of the crickets and the water from the fountain nearby.

I knew I was very drunk. I had enough sense to realize that, but it didn't stop me from getting to this bench either way. I didn't even know why I was here, but the thought of sitting in my apartment sober for the next hour made me more miserable than I already was.

The air was cool and felt nice on my feverish skin. For the first time all day, I felt relaxed, which was most likely due to the tequila. Regardless, my goal was achieved and in approximately forty-five minutes it wouldn't matter anyway. With my luck, it was honestly impressive that nothing bad happened to ruin these last few minutes.

I felt myself begin to drift off to sleep again and welcomed the numb feeling, ignoring the small voice in the back of my mind that told me I should go home.

"Granger?" came a deep, silky voice from above my head.

I cracked one eye open and felt my heart stop.

_So much for no problems today_.

* * *

"See you later Draco!"

Draco waved at the three guys leaving the stadium and took off his shirt, planning to practice for a little while longer. There was something about today that unsettled him, but he couldn't figure out what it was.

His day was pretty shitty in general, since he'd taken two tests and a quiz during his classes and then gone to soccer practice, which lasted until ten at night. Normally, practice would end at eight, but since Pucey had decided to show up an hour late with hickeys adorning his neck, the head coach had forced the entire team to stay for an extra two hours.

"Fucking Pucey," Draco muttered, kicking a soccer ball into the goal in front of him as hard as he could.

He hated that Adrian Pucey went to NYU. It was hard enough dealing with him at Hogwarts. The only reason he had even been accepted was because of his parents' money. There was no way on earth he was admitted because of his grades. Draco wondered if the idiot would have even graduated if his dad didn't donate an inordinate amount of money to their school.

Sighing, Draco jogged over to the goal and was about to pick up the ball but stopped when he heard the doors to the stadium open.

"I'm just putting this away. I'll be out in a second," he called over his shoulder before turning around, assuming that it was a janitor, coming to clean up.

What he saw made him stand up straight. There was a tall woman in the doorway watching his movements. Her blonde hair fell just past her shoulders in carefully styled curls and her makeup was done immaculately. She was wearing a white and purple tube top and matching mini skirt, which accentuated her chest and legs perfectly, making her appear even taller and curvier. Judging from her outfit and the school colors it contained, Draco guessed she was most likely on the college's cheer squad.

"Do you need something?" Draco asked, frowning in confusion. Maybe she left something at the stadium earlier.

"Hi," she said sweetly, blushing slightly as she approached him. "I can't believe I'm doing this, but I was dared to come here and meet you after practice. When you didn't come outside, I thought I'd come in and see if I missed you."

Draco folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the frame of the goal behind him, raising an eyebrow.

"You were dared?" he asked.

"Yeah," her cheeks became even darker, "the girls on the squad know I kind of have a crush on you."

Draco gave the blonde a lingering look, trailing his eyes down her form. She was very attractive, and he could vaguely remember seeing her cheering at the games in the past. He'd be lying if he said he wasn't interested, and it'd been awhile since he'd been involved with anyone. Draco was out of the country for almost the entire summer doing a business internship and only returned a week before the semester started. Since then, he was too busy to bother meeting anyone. But if this girl was going to come to him and offer her company, who was he to refuse?

"I'm Draco," he offered, holding out his hand for her to shake.

"Daphne," she smiled brightly up at him. "Daphne Greengrass."

She glanced around the empty field before looking at him again.

"Are you done for the day by any chance? I could use someone to walk me home."

Draco gave her a slow smirk, causing her to blush again before taking her hand in his.

"Absolutely. Just let me shower and change."

* * *

It wasn't long before Draco found himself pushed into a secluded area with Daphne's lips firmly attached to his neck. There were tall walls, covered with vines surrounding them and a decently sized fountain in the middle of what looked like a small courtyard. Draco didn't have the chance to look around more because Daphne pulled his head down towards hers and gave him a deep kiss, pushing him over to sit on the edge of the fountain before getting in his lap. She let out moan after moan when he latched his lips onto her neck, biting and sucking until there was a mark left on her pale skin. Draco quickly adjusted their position, laying her down on the ground and getting on top of her, not separating his lips from her body for too long. She reached down to pull off his belt and unbutton his pants. Daphne then started palming his dick through his briefs. He moaned quietly and let his hand trail up her leg underneath the tiny skirt she was wearing.

That was when, by some stroke of bad luck, Draco glanced up. He didn't know if it was a random sound that caught his attention or if he'd seen some movement out of the corner of his eye, but he chose that moment to look away from the attractive, blonde cheerleader currently underneath him and noticed a pair of legs hanging over the armrest of a bench that was partially blocked by the fountain. From his view on the ground, all Draco could see were the person's legs.

"Wait, stop," Draco hissed, grabbing Daphne's hand to keep her still.

"What?"

"Someone's here."

"I don't care." she purred, arching her back and plunging her hand into his underwear again, "because I want you to fuck me right now."

Well, he couldn't argue with that logic.

"Just tell them to get out," Daphne whispered seductively into his ear, tightening her grip on him and kissing down his neck.

Draco opened his mouth to do just that before he got a better view of the other person. The two of them had shifted a little, allowing Draco to now see most of the girl currently sleeping on the bench. The long legs he'd seen moments before were attached to a thin girl with curly, almost out of control, brown hair. Draco froze. He knew that hair anywhere. He'd spent years making fun of it.

"What's wrong?" Daphne asked, drawing his attention back to her for a moment.

"I, um-"

Draco was about to say nothing was wrong and ask if they could just move somewhere else to have sex, but he made the mistake of taking another glance at the girl and noticed the half empty bottle of what was most likely alcohol in her hand, as well as the fact that she was only wearing one shoe. It was safe to assume that she was most likely drunk out of her mind.

_I can't just leave her here, can I?_

Well, maybe he could. She had a lot of other friends. He could just text one of them and tell them where she was and they would take her home. Draco could just leave with Daphne.

He was at a crossroads. One decision would lead to him having sex, while the other would definitely kill any chance of him getting hard again tonight.

_Sex or no sex?_

Phrased like that, there was really only one obvious answer. Yet, he knew he couldn't do it.

"Drakey?" Daphne whined one more time.

Draco winced at the pitch of her voice.

_Was she this irritating earlier? And why the fuck did she call me 'Drakey'? _Draco wondered, amazed at her sudden annoying qualities.

Annoying or not, he knew he was going to hate himself for this one day.

"I can't," Draco sighed. "Sorry, right now just isn't a good time."

He got off Daphne and held out his hand, helping her up before adjusting his pants around his dick.

_I'm going to fucking kill her_, Draco thought to himself angrily as he zipped up his pants which now felt uncomfortably tight. _Why is she even out here? Doesn't she know it's not safe._

Daphne slid up against him again and pressed her chest up against his.

"Are you sure?" she murmured, pressing a soft kiss on the corner of his lips and moving up to his ear. "I can make you forget about whatever's bothering you."

Draco sincerely doubted that.

"I'm sure," he said moving away from her. "Can you get back home alone? You live right there right?"

Draco pointed to a building that was within eyesight just down the brightly lit street, trying not to feel like too much of an asshole. However, Daphne had a better chance of getting to her dorm room unscathed than the idiot girl drunk on a bench in the middle of campus.

Daphne just blinked in shock; her mouth slightly agape. It was obvious she wasn't used to getting turned down. Suddenly she glared at Draco and turned her nose up in a snotty manner.

"Fine, whatever Draco," she spat before turning around and stalking off down the street.

Draco rolled his eyes at Daphne's little tantrum and turned back towards the brunette that had effectively ruined the one thing that could have made his day better.

He walked over to her and examined her sleeping form with mild irritation. She appeared to be fine. Her clothes were slightly rumpled, and her hair was tangled, but it looked like that was a result of her drunken state. She was wearing a loose burgundy tank top with a pair of dark skinny jeans and black ankle boots. Correction, boot. For some reason, she was only wearing one shoe. A quick glance at her hands revealed to Draco that she was holding the missing shoe in one while the other was wrapped around the glass bottle.

He hadn't been this close to her in almost a year, and the last time he spoke to her was at their graduation when she approached him to let him know that Mrs. Sprout wanted a group picture of the kids from Advanced Arithmetic. It didn't look like she'd changed much though. She had more curves than Draco recalled, but that could also be because he'd rarely seen her in anything other than t-shirts. Her hair was still long, falling a few inches past her shoulders in riotous curls. She was wearing makeup tonight, which made Draco wonder where she'd been. The only times he could recall her ever dressing up was once during the homecoming dance their senior year and during various awards ceremonies where they were both honored for numerous national awards along with a few of their other classmates.

Now, here she was passed out on a bench. Looking at her right then, she didn't appear half as intelligent as he knew she was.

He groaned, cursing every deity he knew of for putting him in this situation.

"Granger?"

Hermione's eyes shot open and connected with his for less than a second before she screamed and fell off of the bench onto her front. She let out a quiet groan and rolled over onto her back, looking up at him from his feet.

Draco briefly contemplated helping her up and then decided against it, still feeling irritated over the fact that he was dealing with this nonsense.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Nice to see you too Malfoy," she bit out, using the bench to push herself back up onto her feet.

Draco was about half a foot taller than her. Anyone else would be slightly intimidated by a fully grown man towering over them, but Hermione just pushed Draco out of the way before moving towards the fountain. Once she managed to hobble to its edge, she sat down and began to take off her other boot as well as her socks.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Draco repeated, following her and debating whether or not he should intervene.

"My foot hurts?" she said, as if it was obvious. "It's all swollen."

With that, Hermione carefully slid her feet into the water, sighing with contentment.

"Much better," she grinned up at him.

"You're drunk."

"I am."

"It's a Monday night Granger."

"What time is it?"

Draco frowned at the girl who was now closing her eyes again and leaning back on her hands, enjoying the feeling of the cold water on her skin. Deciding to humor her for now, he checked his watch.

"It's 11:30."

"Exactly 11:30?"

"Yes," he snapped. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"I'm allowed to be drunk for another thirty minutes."

"And why's that?"

She opened her eyes and finally gave him her undivided attention.

"It's my birthday."

He couldn't remember when exactly her birthday was, but he remembered it was sometime in September. He checked the date on his phone. It was September 16th.

"You didn't know?" she asked thoughtfully.

It was phrased as a question, but it was more like an observation.

"No, sorry," Draco sighed, sitting next to her after deciding that she probably wasn't going to get up anytime soon. "Happy Birthday."

She ignored him.

"I remember your birthday."

"I'm sure you do."

He didn't really believe she did. Draco never made a big deal about his birthday, choosing instead to just spend a quiet evening every year at home with his parents and siblings. He did remember how on Hermione's birthday though, all of her friends bought her presents and wished her a happy birthday. By comparison, his own birthday seemed forgettable.

"June 5th."

He raised his eyebrows in surprise. Hermione looked pleased with herself, giving him a smug look.

"Don't look so pleased Granger," Draco said, rolling his eyes. "You don't get a prize for knowing when my birthday is."

"I should."

"Well, you don't," he snapped. "Shouldn't you be spending today with, I don't know, Luna and Padma? Not here in the middle of the night getting drunk?"

"I had dinner with them and I'm not the biggest fan of today anyway. You're really cranky though," she frowned. "I don't want to be with cranky people on my birthday. Go away."

Hermione waved her hand dramatically, almost losing her balance and falling into the fountain. He placed his hand on her shoulder to steady her, glaring as she giggled at her own clumsiness.

Draco chose to remain silent. For a few moments, the only sounds were made by the fountain and the crickets chirping nearby.

"So, how've you been?"

Draco scoffed in mild amusement. It seemed like she still couldn't shut up for too long.

"Fine. You?"

She just shrugged in response.

"You're a business major right?" she asked.

"Yeah. You're still pre-med?"

He remembered she was the only student from Hogwarts that planned to become a doctor. Everyone else decided to go into engineering, business or law.

She nodded, making little circles in the water with her feet.

"How was London?" she asked, referring to the trip he took over the summer.

"It was fine. I was busy with an internship most of the time."

"Fascinating," she muttered in a tone of voice that conveyed how little she actually cared.

"What have you been up to?"

If he was going to have to sit there and make small talk, then he may as well find out more about her. It'd been so long since he'd spoken to Hermione. He really didn't know anything about her anymore.

"Working," she responded. "I'm a Teaching Assistant for Biology and a tutor," she continued, anticipating his next question.

He was impressed. Teaching Assistants were usually graduate students. It was remarkable that she managed to become one as a Sophomore.

"Well this obviously shows you're quite the role model to the freshmen, aren't you?"

Hermione's only response was a fierce glare before she redirected her attention to making her circles in the water. The silence briefly surrounded them once again.

"I texted you."

Draco thought for a moment. He couldn't remember getting any texts from her recently.

"When?" he asked, in confusion.

"The first time we broke up. And the second time. You were the first person I texted the second time it happened," Hermione looked thoughtful, almost like she was just thinking to herself out loud and forgot that Draco was there too.

Draco heard she and Blaise broke up again, but he assumed they would just get back together eventually. However, that was months ago. After three years of seeing the two of them together, he didn't quite realize she was single until that moment.

"We were supposed to meet up, but we never did."

Now he remembered her texting him while he was in London over the summer. He told her when he would be back in town, but they never made plans after that.

"Sorry," Draco shrugged. "I've been pretty busy with internships and schoolwork."

She briefly glanced at him.

"It's fine. I just wanted to hook up with you the first time anyway," she said nonchalantly.

Draco's eyes widened as he spun around to face the small brunette.

"How drunk _are_ you?"

"Very," she said, grinning at his shocked expression, "but I'm not lying. I wanted to hook up with you because I wanted to forget Blaise and you happened to be a man-whore that lived nearby."

"A man-whore?" Draco bristled. "And why exactly, am I a man-whore?"

"Because all you care about is having sex. You don't care about other people. You just use them," she said casually, as if this was common knowledge.

It sounded like she didn't even realize what she was saying. Part of Draco knew the only reason she was being so blunt was because she was drunk, but Hermione was really starting to piss him off.

"I care about other people. I'm fucking sitting here with you instead of getting laid, aren't I?"

"Oh, please," she rolled her eyes at him. "How could I have stopped the great Draco Malfoy from getting laid? Besides maybe it's good that you have less sex right now. I mean if you want to sleep with the entire college, go ahead. I really don't care, but can you at least keep some morals while you're at it?"

Draco narrowed his eyes at that.

"What do you mean?"

"I know about you and Lavender."

"What about her?"

"She gave you a blowjob a couple of weeks after her and Ron broke up." Hermione wrinkled her nose distastefully. "Don't even bother denying it, she's the one who told me. You know, I thought you at least had some standards Malfoy. I didn't think you had it in you to hook up with your best friend's ex."

Draco felt his blood boil at her words. What right did she have to judge him? And why did it bother him so much?

"You're one to talk," he spat maliciously, "I heard about what you were doing over the summer break. Or should I say who?"

She gasped and opened her mouth, an angry retort on the tip of her tongue.

"I-"

"How many people was it again? I know about Cedric, Dean, Harry and Zabini, but were there more? It didn't take you long after your breakup to fuck someone else-"

Draco's next words were cut off by Hermione shoving him into the fountain. He was now sopping wet and he already felt like he was going to freeze to death as he sat in the water, staring up at Hermione in shock. He spluttered and tried to wipe the water out of his eyes, glaring at her.

"You bitch! What the fuck do you think-"

Draco's let himself trail off when he got a good look at Hermione's face. She was furious. Her hands were clenched into tight fists and she was looking at him like she would kill him if he made one wrong move.

"Don't act like you know anything about me," she hissed murderously.

Her voice was so quiet that he almost didn't hear her, but the steel accompanying her tone was unmistakable. Wordlessly, Draco got out of the water and sat next to her again, shivering in his newly soaked clothes.

"Sorry," she muttered, not meeting his eyes and choosing instead to stare at her hands which were folded in her lap.

"It's fine," he sighed, sliding his shirt over his shoulders.

"What are you doing?" Hermione asked, her eyes widening in alarm when she saw his bare chest.

"Well, you got me wet. Do you want me to catch a cold?"

"I'm really indifferent-"

"Shut up," Draco interrupted.

He considered their situation for a few more moments before turning to Hermione again. There was something about what she'd said earlier that bothered him

"If you wanted to hook up with me the first time you texted me," he began, "why did you text me the second time?"

Hermione furled her eyebrows in confusion and for a second Draco thought she was too drunk to understand him. Finally, after careful consideration, she managed a response.

"I don't know," she frowned.

Draco believed her. Judging from the look on her face, it upset her that she messaged him at all. She didn't know why her instinct was to text him when it happened, she just did.

"You're shaking," she observed with slight concern.

"That's what happens when it's cold and you get pushed into a fountain Granger," Draco snapped.

Hermione just rolled her eyes at his complaint.

"You're so whiny," she said.

"I am not!"

"Are too!" she shouted, laughing. Then she cleared her throat and made her voice high pitched. "I'm Draco Malfoy, my life is so terrible. I'm not having sex, I'm all wet and now my hair is messed up."

Draco felt himself glare at the girl in front of him with increasing irritation. Suddenly, Hermione pulled out the bottle she had earlier and took another gulp of the tequila. Draco didn't even realize she still had it.

"Give me that," Draco said, grabbing the alcohol from her and holding it out of reach in one smooth movement.

"Haven't you heard of not stealing from other people?" she shouted, hitting every part of his body that she could reach. "I paid for it, so get your own fucking drink."

Draco examined the contents of the bottle, while he pushed Hermione away from him with one hand. It was almost empty, and he wondered if she drank all of it.

_If I'm going to deal with her until she's ready to go home then I deserve the rest of this, _Draco thought.

In one quick movement, Draco drank the rest of it, handing her back the empty bottle. She just mutely stared at it.

"You did not just do that."

Draco felt the alcohol beginning to warm him up and make his thoughts a little fuzzier. Normally, he'd probably know better than to piss her off even more, but he was feeling a lot more relaxed now than he'd felt before the drink.

"I definitely did."

There was a moment of silence before Hermione let out something that sounded like some kind of angry war cry and shoved him back into the fountain. She briefly smirked victoriously before Draco wrapped his fingers around her wrist and yanked her in with him. With a yelp, Hermione fell next to him, becoming completely soaked as a result.

"_MALFOY!"_

_"GRANGER!" _he mocked grinning at her.

She narrowed her eyes in response.

"You son of a bitch."

"You bitch," he returned.

She gasped in indignation before promptly grabbing his head and shoving it under the water.

Draco easily removed her hands from his head and began to splash her with water until she begged through her laughter for him to stop. He grinned at her.

"Do you give up?"

She nodded, too out of breath and wet to form words. Draco stopped pushing wave after wave of water toward her, allowing her to finally stand up. Before he could follow, Hermione shoved him back over and kicked water into his face.

"_GRANGER!"_ Draco bellowed, trying to grab her again.

Hermione laughed and quickly spun out of reach of his grasping hands, sticking her tongue out at him a safe distance away.

"You know," she began teasingly, "for someone who's apparently so good at soccer, you really are slow."

Draco pushed his wet bangs out of his eyes and glared at her.

"Just get out of the damn fountain so I can take you home."

"Nope," she said. "You leave. I'm still having fun."

"Granger," Draco warned, "don't make me come over there and drag you away."

Hermione narrowed her eyes at his threat.

"I fucking dare you to try Malfoy."

Draco immediately ran towards the much smaller girl, whose eyes widened in slight fear. Letting out a scream, Hermione sprinted away from him as fast as she could with her legs partially submerged in the water. Once she reached the other side of the fountain, she tried her best to keep the fountain head in between the two of them. Draco kept trying to grab her, but she would quickly dodge him and move farther away. Finally, he slowed down, making sure that she didn't notice and quietly moved behind the pillar on the side opposite where she was peeking around the corner looking for him.

"Malfoy?" Hermione called, wondering where he was.

"Caught you," Draco whispered directly into her ear, grinning and placing an arm against the concrete on either side of her, effectively caging her in.

Hermione gasped and spun around, almost losing her balance in the process. Reflexively, Draco wrapped one arm around her waist to steady her, resulting in her being pressed against him. Draco felt his breath catch in his throat when he realized how close she was and that the arm just above her hip was touching her bare skin since her tank top had rolled up quite a bit. Hermione's hands rested on his shoulders and she was gazing up at him with wide eyes. Her breathing was uneven. She was also shaking slightly, and Draco briefly wondered whether it was because of the cold water or because of him.

He was surprised by how natural and familiar it felt to have her this close. She shifted a little in his arms and Draco automatically tightened his grip on her waist, rubbed circles with his thumb on the small of her back and eliciting another soft gasp from her. Unfortunately, that movement drew his attention to her lips. They were perfectly shaped in his opinion and when she bit her bottom lip, looking up at him through her big, inquisitive brown eyes, Draco felt like his brain short-circuited. It was probably the sexiest thing he'd ever seen in his life.

_She probably has a million questions right now,_ Draco thought with a slight smile, pulling her a little closer to him and thanking god that she stayed quiet instead of ruining the moment.

How could one girl make him feel so many things all at once? A few moments ago, Draco was angrier than he'd been in a long time, then he was laughing and messing with her like he was fifteen again, and now he couldn't stop thinking about kissing her.

His hand was shaking slightly as he brought it up to her face, gently cupping her cheek. Draco felt his breathing become even more ragged when she closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. It, whatever this was, felt different with Hermione compared to earlier with Daphne. With Daphne, Draco felt like he was just going through motions he'd gone through countless times with other girls. With Hermione though, it felt like every movement she made as a result of his touch captivated him. It wasn't something rushed and desperate. He wanted to memorize every single thing about this moment, from the sound of her quiet breathing, to the glow from the nearby streetlamp illuminating her features for him.

It was true that when they were fifteen or sixteen, Draco was briefly attracted to her, but he'd quickly dismissed that as a childish crush. He hadn't thought about her like this in years, but right then, he couldn't think of anything else.

_It's just the alcohol_, Draco reasoned with himself.

As he tried to convince himself that the sudden lust he felt towards Hermione was only a result of his earlier drink, Draco watched his hand slowly move down to gently cup her chin and tilt her face up and closer to his. It was like he wasn't in charge of his actions anymore. Before he even realized it, Draco was leaning forward and his lips brushed gently against Hermione's. It wasn't quite a kiss, but it was enough to make him feel lightheaded. The anticipation made his body feel like it was wound tighter than a spring. Draco didn't understand how a simple ghost of a kiss managed to completely unravel him. He also didn't know if he cared anymore. None of it made sense and he didn't know how they'd gotten into this position, but he did know that if he didn't press his lips to hers right then he would go insane.

Draco lowered his lips to hers again, fully intending to kiss her until neither one of them had a coherent thought left in either of their heads, but Hermione turned her face away from him.

"I think I'm ready to go home," she said, her voice barely audible over the sound of the water falling around them. "Padma and Luna are probably wondering where I am."

She wouldn't meet his eyes anymore, looking down at their feet in the water instead. Draco closed his eyes and shook his head, snapping himself out of whatever spell it felt like he was under.

_This is Granger,_ he reminded himself angrily. _This is insanity. She doesn't mean anything to me. It's been more than three years since we were even friends._

He took a few steps away from her after clearing his throat.

"Alright, Granger. Grab your shoes and let's go," he said gruffly, avoiding looking at her and hoping she couldn't see the effect she'd momentarily had on him.

_She doesn't mean anything to me_, he kept telling himself as he let her lean on him to take some of the weight off of her ankle while he walked her home.

However, when they finally reached her apartment building and she disappeared inside with a murmured thank you, Draco couldn't help but wish Hermione invited him in.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I will try to upload again sometime next week or the week after! Review and favorite/follow to let me know what you think!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy! (:**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot and any extra characters.**

* * *

_"Fuck you Draco!"_ the tall brunette screamed at him through her tears before dramatically slamming the front door of Draco's apartment behind her.

Draco sighed, rubbing his temples and thanking god that she was gone. He turned around, planning to go to bed early in an attempt to improve his sour mood. Unfortunately, judging from the pissed expression on Theo's face, Draco wasn't going to bed anytime soon.

"This insanity needs to stop," Theo said, narrowing his eyes at the blonde in front of him.

"I don't know what you mean," Draco nonchalantly pushed past the other boy into the kitchen.

He grabbed a water bottle from their fridge and took a long sip of water. Theo leaned against the counter, folding his arms across his chest and glaring at Draco.

_"What?"_

"Did you at least know her name this time?"

"Well," Draco thought hard for a moment. "I think it started with an 'S'?"

"Emily. Her name was Emily."

"How do you know that?"

"She's in my economics class. Which mean I have to see her again. Which means she's going to hate me now because I live with you."

"You've never cared when I brought a girl home before," Draco said.

"Well before," Theo began calmly, "you usually had sex with them, and they left happy enough. You didn't lead them on and then yell at them to get out less than an hour later. _YOU ALSO DIDN'T BRING A DIFFERENT GIRL HOME EVERY NIGHT FOR THE PAST TWO WEEKS!_"

By the end of Theo's little tirade, he was shouting and Draco wouldn't meet his eyes.

"What the fuck happened Draco? Why can't you please just sleep with someone and put me out of my misery?"

"I can't," Draco bit out. "She fucking broke my dick!"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I met a girl. She broke my dick."

"Uh. Like, it's gone?"

"No!" Draco shouted, running a hand through his hair frustratedly. "We almost kissed and ever since then I haven't been able to get hard unless I think about her."

Theo fell silent all of a sudden and Draco turned around in time to catch the slightly shorter boy stifling his laughter behind his hand. Draco glared at him and threw his water bottle at Theo's head.

"This isn't funny Nott!"

"Aw," Theo teased, rubbing his head where the water bottle made contact. "Malfoy's in love."

"It's not love. It's lust. I need to fuck her out of my system."

"And why are you so sure that will solve it?"

"Because I can't date her. We hate each other. This is the only solution."

"You know, people say the line between love and hate is very thin," Theo commented.

"Not with her," Draco muttered as he thought about how angry he made a certain brunette almost every time they interacted. "With her, that line is very obvious."

"Then what makes you think she'll want to have sex with you?"

"She's been avoiding me and ignoring my texts ever since we almost kissed."

Theo scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"I don't see how that means she wants to fuck you, Malfoy."

"She's avoiding me because she wants me too. But since she hates me, she doesn't think it's a good idea," Draco explained impatiently. "It's obvious really."

"Fine," Theo sighed. "Whatever will stop the constant flow of women in and out of this apartment. Do you want my help?"

"I don't need your help to get a girl Nott."

"You obviously do with this one," Theo said laughing. "I never thought I'd see the day where Draco Malfoy would get this worked up over another person."

"I'm not worked up," Draco frowned. "I'm just pissed. Why would she be ignoring me? She should feel lucky."

"Lucky because of the opportunity to fuck you?"

"Exactly."

"Maybe she just has standards," Theo muttered.

"I heard that."

"You were meant to."

Draco glared at Theo again.

"Are you going to help me or not?"

"Well," Theo debated, "I don't recall you ever asking me to."

There was a moment of tense silence as Draco considered asking Theo for help. He hated asking for favors almost as much as he hated apologizing, but it was obvious there was no way he was going to get a chance to talk to Hermione by himself.

"Fine," Draco relented. "Please help me, Theo."

"Now was that so hard?"

"Go eat a dick."

Theo just grinned at him.

"What's her name?"

Draco hesitated, already anticipating the other boy's response.

"It's Granger."

Theo's phone fell out of his hands onto the floor with a loud crash as he stood there with his mouth agape.

_"WHAT?_"

"What?" Draco asked, feigning innocence.

"I am not helping you have sex with Hermione."

"Why not?"

"First of all, because it might lead to the birth of some kind of hideous creature that'll probably be the devil incarnate."

"We would use protection obvi-"

"Second of all," Theo interrupted with a glare, "she would kill me in my sleep. Not to mention all of her friends would too. I could never go back to Fayetteville again."

"I'm sure it wouldn't be that bad."

"Have you met Weasley and Potter?" Theo asked incredulously. "If they ever found out you touched their virginal princess, they would murder you."

"I like to think they would be understanding. We were all friends at one point."

"Yeah, but that was before you went to third base with Brown."

Draco winced at that memory. It wasn't one of his finer moments and it involved a lot of vodka to drown out her shrill voice.

"Also, you know Ginny will drive here from Syracuse and kill us. As in, she will actually burn both of us alive and then bury us somewhere so no one will ever find our dead bodies."

Draco had thought of that possibility, but after two weeks of being physically incapable of having sex, he decided it was worth the risk.

"Come on Theo," Draco pleaded. "All I need is for you to find out her schedule from Luna or Padma so that I can catch her after class. I'll handle everything else and no one will even have to know that you helped me."

"I already have her schedule."

"What? Why?"

"We met up for lunch a couple of weeks ago for her birthday."

Draco frowned at that.

"You two still keep in touch?"

"A bit," Theo shrugged. "Jealous?"

"Of you? Never. So, are you going to give it to me?"

Theo still hesitated, wondering if he could survive the combined wrath of Hermione, Luna, Padma, Harry and the entire Weasley clan if anyone ever found out he'd helped the sexually frustrated boy in front of him.

"If you help me, I won't bring another girl over to the apartment for the next two months."

He considered Draco's offer carefully. It would be nice to fall asleep without having to hear some girl loudly moaning Draco's name in the room next to him for two entire months. But could he really do this to Hermione?

Yes, yes he could.

"Fine," Theo sighed, rubbing his forehead tiredly and pulling out his phone to text Draco her schedule. "What are the odds she actually sleeps with you anyway?"

"_I heard that._"

"_You were meant to._"

* * *

It was the next day and Draco could barely contain his excitement. He had only one chance to make this work and if he made one wrong move, he knew that Hermione would most likely never speak to him again, much less sleep with him. If he was being honest, Draco didn't really care if he and Hermione ever spoke after this. As far as he was concerned, he needed her just once so that his life could go back to normal.

"You're too excited," Theo said feeling suspicious as he watched the blonde humming to himself in the kitchen.

Draco shrugged, setting a plate of freshly cooked spaghetti in front of Theo before sitting down in the seat opposite him to enjoy his own food. Theo frowned.

"I'm starting to doubt whether this was a good idea."

"It's too late for that. Besides, I'm just going to go talk to her after she's done working. Nothing to be worried about."

At work, Hermione would be tutoring the freshman students taking Biology. Afterwards, she didn't have class for the rest of the day.

Once Theo had sent him her schedule, it shocked Draco to see how many different things she was doing. She was taking five classes, had two jobs, and was an active member of two organizations. She worked as a Teaching Assistant and a tutor and was a member of a pre-medicine honor society and some club that volunteered at animal adoption centers. It was amazing that she even had time to breathe.

"Just go easy on her please?"

Draco grinned mischievously.

"No promises."

He hurried to eat his food and shouted a quick goodbye over his shoulder to Theo before grabbing his set of the keys to their apartment and walking out the door.

Fifteen minutes later, Draco reached the classroom she was tutoring in. He was nervous, which was a foreign feeling to him. Looking through the little rectangular window in the door, he could see many red plastic chairs, each connected to a desk and containing a student. He couldn't see the entire room or Hermione from this angle, but he guessed she was tutoring about fifteen students today. Draco took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

_It's just Granger,_ he thought to himself frustratedly. _There's no reason to be freaked out. I've had sex with a lot of girls. She's just another one of them._

With that, Draco quietly opened the door and slid into the room, hoping to remain unseen until she was done working in ten minutes. He spotted her almost as soon as he entered the room. She was crouched next to the desk of a student and energetically explaining to her something about cells. Draco couldn't care less what she was talking about, but he couldn't tear his eyes away from her. Hermione was wearing a pair of jean shorts and a thin blue and white striped tank top. It was very hot outside, with the temperature being in the upper nineties, so she had her hair pulled up into a high ponytail to keep it off of her neck and prevent her from getting too warm. Overall it was a simple and efficient look, but he had no idea how she made it so unbelievably sexy. From his angle by the door, Draco had the luxury of dragging his gaze down her form without her noticing. He didn't have the chance to fully appreciate her body before now, but it was obvious she'd grown up a lot more than he'd given her credit for.

Her hair fell in long brown ringlets from her ponytail with a few strands hanging in front of her face, which she impatiently pushed out of her eyes as she helped the student in front of her. Her chest appeared to be a little on the smaller side, which was a shame really. He'd heard rumors about her breasts being bigger than they looked, but Draco couldn't really see how that was possible.

_I guess I'll find out soon enough, _he thought, grinning to himself.

Her arms were thin and toned, conveying that she probably still stayed in relatively good shape. One glance at her legs further proved this theory. Draco honestly thought that was now his favorite part of her. Her legs were long, which was surprising given how small she was, and from the way she was crouched, he could see how defined and shapely they were. He loved the way they curved when they met her hip as well. For a moment in the back of his mind, Draco saw Hermione with her legs wrapped around his waist, moaning his name as he kissed her neck.

_That's a fucking nice picture,_ Draco thought.

He knew that if there wasn't anyone else in here with them, then he would probably want to take her right then and there on one of those flimsy desks.

While her body was amazing though, that wasn't what captivated him. It was how bright her eyes were as she taught her students. Hermione looked happy and peaceful, and judging by the expressions of the students; she was really helping them learn.

Draco loved watching her teach. He always had, even back in Hogwarts when they were both tutors for Arithmetic. It was a good thing that he was made the head tutor, because whenever Hermione taught someone, he would just end up watching her instead of doing his own work. As head tutor though, he could just assign his students to someone else and spend his time observing her. She always thought he did it to her annoy her, but in reality, he just liked how Hermione taught. It was passionate and deliberate. She never gave up on a student and would always find a way to explain a concept in a way that made perfect sense to them, only being satisfied when they reached a moment of clarity where the look of confusion and frustration on their face morphed into one of excitement as they finally understood whatever it was that eluded them originally.

Finally, Hermione straightened up, smiling brightly once the student she was helping understood her biology homework. The grin immediately fell from her face however, once she spotted Draco standing next to the doorway.

"Granger," Draco smirked, "I-"

"No."

"No?"

"No," Hermione repeated firmly. "Get out."

"But I haven't even said anything yet," Draco protested.

"Get out, get out, get out," she insisted, practically shoving him out the door and locking it behind him.

He tried the knob once and sighed when he realized there was no way he was going to get in.

_Well that went well._

* * *

I turned around after forcefully removing the insufferable blonde from the room and found a room full of students all staring at me.

"Alright, show's over," I said, smiling awkwardly. "Work on your homework for another couple of minutes and then you guys can get going."

I knew he was still out there. Even though I couldn't see him, I knew instinctively that he was on the other side of that door waiting for the opportunity to get back in or for me to leave the room.

_What does he want?_

I clenched my jaw as I glared at the door intensely. I wondered if I could burn holes into it if I glared long enough.

"Hermione?" a voice asked.

"Hm?" I responded absentmindedly, still focused on the door and the fact that Draco was on the other side.

"Who was that?"

I redirected my attention to the girl in front of me. She was one of my regulars, attending my tutoring sessions almost every week. Her name was Melissa. She was on the quiet side and usually preferred to just observe other people instead of talking to them. I was pretty much the only person I'd ever seen her willingly talk to.

"No one," I muttered, listening to the giggles coming through the door as some of my students left the room and Draco flirted with them in the hallway. I rolled my eyes, beginning to put my belongings into my backpack. I guess some things never changed.

"I think he's in love with you."

I jumped and dropped my stack of books directly onto my foot. Cursing under my breath, I looked back at Melissa.

"_Excuse me?_" I asked, incredulously.

"Maybe he doesn't love you," Melissa said with a thoughtful expression on her face. "He definitely likes you a lot though."

I shook my head resolutely.

"No, he really doesn't."

"He was staring at you for like ten minutes when he walked in," she said.

_He was in here for that long?_

"I really doubt that he does Melissa," I said and smiled at the younger girl, "but even if he did, believe me it wouldn't matter."

"Okay, if you say so," she shrugged. "I'll see you next week?"

"Sounds good to me!" I said, waving at her as she left the room.

Unfortunately, her exit accompanied Draco's entrance.

"Thanks," he said, winking at Melissa as she held open the door for him.

She trailed her gaze up and down his body and frowned.

"She can do better."

I stifled my laughter at the bewildered expression on Draco's face as she walked off down the hallway. My laughter died though when he purposefully set his mercury colored eyes on me. He slowly grinned and I felt myself shiver in response.

_No, no, no, no, no. I can't let this happen again._

I glared at him and continued to put my books into my backpack, doing my best to ignore Draco.

"Granger," he drawled. "I'm not the monster under the bed. You can't just ignore me, and I'll go away."

I sighed and faced him again. He may have a point.

"What do you want Malfoy?" I muttered, taking a sip from my water bottle.

"You," he said simply.

I immediately started choking on my water, gasping for breath.

"Well, that's attractive," Draco wrinkled his nose distastefully.

Once I managed to catch my breath, I glared up at him.

"_What did you just say?_"

"I want you," he repeated, taking my hand and pulling me to him.

_This is not happening_.

"I, um-"

"I know you want me too sweetheart," Draco whispered into my ear, trailing his hand against my cheek. "All you have to do is say it."

I ripped my hand out of his and kicked his shin.

"_DAMN IT!" _Draco shouted, holding onto his shin and glaring at me. "What the fuck was that for?"

"I do _not_ want you!" I hissed angrily. "What do you think you're doing, coming in here and saying all this bullshit?"

"Don't get your panties in a twist Granger. It's not a big deal."

_"NOT A BIG DEAL?_" I shouted incredulously. "You come waltzing in here while I'm working and say that you want me and I want you and you think it's not a big deal? I'm not going to be your fucking girlfriend Malfoy!"

"Who said anything about being my girlfriend?" he grinned. "Aw, were you hoping that I'd walk around holding your hand, kissing you and taking you on cute dates like Zabini did?"

I waited for the familiar pang I usually felt whenever someone mentioned Blaise, but it never came. I was so mad that I couldn't feel anything else. It'd been a long time since I was this angry though and honestly, it felt good.

"If you think for one minute," I began threateningly, "that I would willingly let you within ten feet of me then you're dumber than I thought. Plus, I don't know if you noticed, but you're the one who wants me. Not the other way around _sweetheart_."

The grin on Draco's face fell and he moved purposefully towards me.

"You really wouldn't let me touch you? Because that's not what it seemed like to me," he said quietly, cornering me against a desk. "I actually think you like when I touch you, Granger. In fact, I don't think you've stopped thinking about me since the last time I did."

"You sure that you're not talking about yourself Malfoy?" I said challengingly.

He hummed in appreciation and nuzzled my neck before I could protest, causing me to gasp in surprise and raise my hands to his shoulders. His arms were on either side of me, keeping me between him and the desk pressing into my back. I could feel his lips ghosting over my collarbone and my neck until he reached my ear.

"I'd be lying if I said I wasn't," he murmured.

He placed a soft, lingering kiss just behind my ear and I was horrified to hear myself let out a quiet sigh. I felt him grin against my skin, letting me know he'd heard it too.

_Fuck. Push him away. Knee him. Just do something!_

"What do you want Malfoy?" I breathed out.

My voice was barely audible, and I cursed myself for sounding so out of breath because of his actions. He pulled himself away a little so that he could look into my eyes with an intensity I'd never seen before from him.

"I want to fuck you, Granger."

That snapped me out of it. The idea of Malfoy and I actually having sex was enough for me to shove him away.

_"You want to fuck me?_" I asked incredulously. "Oh, dear god. Hell has frozen over."

I turned back towards my backpack and the rest of my books, sweeping them all off the desk and into my backpack in one quick, careless movement.

"This might surprise you Malfoy," I said in a scathing tone, "but not everything on the planet is dying to have sex with you."

"Well, it seemed like you wanted to a minute ago!"

"Momentary lapse of sanity."

"Come on Granger," Draco pleaded. "One time and I promise I'll never talk to you again. I wouldn't even ask if I wasn't desperate."

"Why are you desperate?" I asked suspiciously.

He mumbled something under his breath that I didn't quite catch. I picked up my backpack and swung it onto my shoulders, readjusting the straps as I faced the blonde again.

"Sorry, what?"

"I can't fuck anyone else!" he shouted frustratedly.

"This is my problem because?"

"Because my dick doesn't get hard unless I'm thinking about you!"

I blinked in shock for a moment before dissolving into laughter.

"_IT'S NOT FUNNY!_"

"No, you're right," I said, trying to keep a straight face. "it's not just funny. It's hysterical."

"Yeah, ha ha Granger," he said mockingly. "But what are we going to do about it?"

"_We?_"

"Yes, _we_," he insisted. "There's been this weird tension between us since we were fifteen. We're nineteen now, so let's just fuck and get it over with!"

"I'm twenty," I corrected him automatically. "Also, no. Just because you've decided I'm no longer _disgusting_ doesn't mean I think you aren't. So, no I'm not having sex with you. Ever. But thanks for telling me about how you can't get it up. It really made my day."

I started to walk towards the door before Draco got in front of me.

"Where are you going?"

"Malfoy," I sighed. "I don't know how you found out my schedule, but I have lunch plans with my sister right now. I can't spend any more time talking to you."

"What about tomorrow?" Draco insisted.

"I'm busy all day with Hannah. She's coming into town and wants to go to some music festival."

"But Granger, what am I supposed to do about my penis?"

"I don't know," I shrugged. "Become a priest or something."

"I'm not really the most religious person."

"Ah," I said smiling brightly and patting his shoulder in a congratulatory fashion, "but you are celibate now apparently. So, you're halfway there!"

With that, I left the classroom and walked off down the hallway, believing that was the last time I would see Malfoy for a long time at least. If I had waited a little longer, however, I would've seen Malfoy bend down to pick up a book I'd left behind and make a phone call.

* * *

"I can't believe you," Hermione hissed angrily for what felt like the millionth time.

"I get that a lot," Draco grinned cheekily. "Usually in bed though."

Hermione let out groan of frustration and slumped in the seat next to him, most likely wishing she could kill the blonde and get away with it.

"I'm so sorry Hermione," Hannah pleaded with her. "But he gave me Ed Sheeran tickets! Two of them! I had to give him my ticket! If it was anyone else, I wouldn't do this, but you know I've been wanting to see this concert for months and it's been sold out and it's just Draco. How bad could it really be? I'm so sorry though and thank you so much for doing this and-"

"Hannah," Hermione interrupted, giving her a small smile. "It's alright. I know how badly you wanted to see his concert. You're not the one I'm mad at."

She gave Draco a pointed look. He just shrugged and grinned at her, pleased with himself for getting them into this situation.

Hannah squeezed Hermione's hand before shutting the car door. She then glared at Draco.

"If there is even one scratch on her head-"

"You'll kill me. Yes, I know Hannah," Draco said, rolling his eyes as he turned the keys in the ignition of his Ferrari. "You told me that multiple times over the phone."

Hannah narrowed her eyes one last time and mouthed 'sorry' to Hermione before heading back into her hotel and leaving the two of them alone.

"You ready?"

Hermione sighed, giving him a look that told him she would never quite be ready for this.

"If I have to be."

* * *

In a few minutes, they reached the music festival and Draco parked his car. He turned towards Hermione, only to find her already getting out of the car and heading towards a keg stand. He rolled his eyes and followed her.

"What are you doing Granger?" Draco asked, taking the beer out of her hand.

She glared at him.

"I'm getting really sick of you stealing my alcohol Malfoy."

Hermione then immediately spun around and grabbed another beer before stalking away from him into the crowd.

"Granger," Draco frowned. "Maybe you should pace yourself."

He followed her through the crowd to a small clearing where many blankets were laid out on the ground in front of a stage. The music was loud enough where he couldn't even hear her response, but judging from the look on her face, it wasn't anything pleasant.

The air was slightly chillier than he expected, and he shivered slightly as he sat down next to her on a blanket, listening to the music and trying not to be blinded by all of the lights. It wasn't long before a pretty girl with long, pale legs and short, black hair sidled up to him. She reeked of alcohol and was obviously more than a little tipsy.

"Do you want to dance, handsome?" she murmured seductively.

Draco eyed her up and down for a moment, considering her offer. A few weeks ago, he probably would have said yes, but right now, he was uninterested. He did, however, hear Hermione's derisive snort.

_What's the point if I can't have sex with anyone but Granger right now?_ He thought to himself. _I could still make her jealous though._

"I would love to sweetheart," he grinned back. "You don't mind, right Granger?"

Draco didn't wait for Hermione's answer and handed her his drink before walking to the edge of the crowd with the girl. He could feel Hermione's eyes on him as he swayed in time to the music with the raven-haired girl and grinned to himself. He turned expecting to see her jealous and glaring at him, but instead found her talking to another guy. Draco watched in horror as he asked her to dance and pulled her up before wrapping his arm around her waist.

Hermione danced beautifully, which was unexpected from someone so uncoordinated. There was something effortlessly graceful and sexy about the way she moved her hips with the music. Draco felt his jaw clench in frustration as the nameless guy continued to spin her, making her laugh and place her hands on his shoulders to steady herself.

"She your girlfriend?" the girl currently in Draco's arms asked, turning around and practically grinding her ass into him.

"No," he immediately answered. "Not even close."

"Good," she grinned, pulling his head down so that her lips were directly on his ear. "I can probably do more for you anyway."

_Still don't feel anything_, Draco realized frustratedly.

The girl in his arms was practically begging him to have sex with her and all he could think about was the frizzy-haired brunette that annoyed the shit out of him. He groaned with frustration, which the girl in front of him, whose name was Katie or Kathy or something else that started with a K, took to mean he was turned on and continued her movements.

He spun Katie or Kathy around and glanced back towards where he'd last seen Hermione. Draco's blood went cold.

_Where is she?_

Hermione and the boy she was dancing with were both gone and all that was left on their blanket were two empty, red, plastic cups, which originally had their beer in it. He scanned the faces around him, but he still couldn't find either of them anywhere.

_Damn it, Granger._

Draco could feel his panic steadily rising with every passing second spent with him not knowing where Hermione was.

"Hello?" the girl said, impatiently snapping her fingers in front of his face.

_"What?_" he snapped, glaring at her.

She jumped at his tone and rolled her eyes.

"I have better things to do than waste my time with you. If you're looking for your bitch, she went back there with some guy. She looked pretty drunk."

She pointed towards one of the many booths containing vendors selling a variety of foods. Draco felt himself tense.

"_Why didn't you say anything when you saw them leave?_" Draco asked angrily.

Not even waiting for a response, Draco stalked over to the booths, looking behind each one anxiously.

_Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay._

He heard a feminine giggle and turned the next corner to find her standing in front of him with the slightly taller male. The guy was grinning down at her drunken state and still had an arm wrapped around Hermione's waist. He kept trying to lean forward to kiss her, but she kept laughing and shaking her head.

"I really don't want to right now," Draco heard Hermione say.

"Come on baby," the man cajoled, "just one kiss and that's it."

"She said no, dumbass," Draco growled, seeing red.

He moved towards the two of them, expecting the man to back away, but instead he held Hermione closer to him, much to her obvious annoyance.

"What? You her boyfriend?" he scoffed. "If you are, you shouldn't leave such a pretty thing by herself. You never know who she'll wander off with."

Draco briefly registered Hermione stiffen at that, and with a blur of movement the man had fallen to the floor and was holding his crotch, yowling in pain. Draco watched Hermione with mild alarm, but she just shrugged and stepped over him. Before she passed Draco, he reached out and grabbed her hand, pulling her a little farther away from the concert and the man she'd just incapacitated.

"Let go of me, Malfoy!" she snapped.

Draco ignored her and ran his hands up and down her arms before cupping her face and tilting it this way and that.

"Malfoy! _Let go!_"

"Are you okay?" he asked, still cradling her face against his palm.

"I'm fine," she said, frowning and looking slightly confused. "Why wouldn't I be?"

Draco sighed, pulling her closer to him. His goal to sleep with her didn't matter anymore, it was honestly the furthest thing from his mind.

"Can I please just take you home?" he begged.

"You're the one who wanted to be here."

"Well, I changed my mind. I want to take you home now."

She narrowed her eyes at him but didn't pull away.

"And why should I go home just because you want me to?"

Draco threw his hands up into the air, finally letting go of her.

"I give up Granger! You're impossible! When I'm nice to you, you're pissed at me. When I flirt with you, you're pissed at me. When I'm mean to you, you're _still_ pissed at me. What do you fucking want from me?!"

Hermione gasped in shock and shoved him, causing him to take a step back.

"You think that's why I'm mad? I'm _pissed_ because when we were kids, I fucking trusted you and you weren't any different from anyone else. I'm _pissed_ because after five years, you've suddenly decided I'm good enough for you and act like that's enough to make me want you too. I'm _pissed_ because I thought Blaise was different from every other fucking person in my life who's left me. I'm _pissed _because almost every single guy I met over this past summer continued to fuck with me as if I'm just a fucking game."

Every time she said the word 'pissed' Hermione shoved him back a little more. Eventually Draco found himself cornered between an extremely angry girl and the table of an empty booth.

"And when one nice, sweet guy tells me he cares about me and wants to be with me, you know what I do? I say no, because for some reason I keep letting assholes like you into my life. In fact, you know why I dated Blaise to begin with?" her voice dropped to a low snarl. "It's because for the first time in more than two years something made me forget about you. Well, actually that's a lie. I didn't consciously think about you, but I noticed you all the time. Every time we had class together, I always heard everything you said and knew whenever you were in the room with me. And whenever we passed each other on campus, I always noticed you. There are literally more than fifty thousand other students here, but I _always_ notice you. _Why_?"

Draco opened his mouth, to say something, anything, but Hermione wasn't done yet.

"You aren't any different than any of those guys Malfoy. You aren't any different than anyone who's hurt me before. You're actually the exact kind of person who would hurt me because you don't give a shit about me. You _never_ have! Even now, you act like just because you've suddenly decided you think I'm hot-"

"I don't think you're hot," Draco interrupted.

He winced at the furious expression on her face, knowing he'd chosen the wrong moment in her tirade to interrupt.

"What I mean," Draco tried to explain, "is that I think people like Pansy and Katie Bell are hot. You're not hot."

"Alright, Malfoy. I don't know why you think bringing up the fact that your exes are more attractive than me is going to make me want to sleep with you-"

"You're beautiful," he blurted out.

Hermione's eyes widened and she opened her mouth to say something, but nothing came out. For once in her life, she was speechless, and Draco was the one to have caused it. He briefly felt pride at this small achievement and continued speaking before he lost his nerve.

"You're fucking beautiful Granger," Draco repeated. "Everything you do is just amazing. You make people laugh and feel comfortable, and you're easily friends with so many people because you're so damn likable. You don't give a shit about how you look ninety-nine percent of the time, but you're still so fucking sexy. When you walk into a room, people notice you, but you don't even realize it. You're the kind of person that people wish they were good enough for and you think anyone's good enough for you, but they're not. I'm not going to act like I know what happened between you and Blaise, or you and any other guy, but I can say one thing confidently."

Draco paused and looked at her intently.

"I'm not them."

Hermione took a small, almost imperceptible step forward.

"I'm not _any_ of them. I'm not going to wake up one day and change my mind."

She took another step.

"I want this. So fucking badly. You have no idea how many times I've thought about you over the past couple of weeks. Your laugh, your hair, your eyes. I can't stop it."

One more step.

"_I want you_, Granger." Draco said quietly, emphasizing his words. "I don't know why, and I can't take back all the shitty things I've done. But to me you're absolutely beautiful and I-"

Draco's words were cut off by a pair of soft lips pressing against his own. It only lasted for a second, but it made every hair on his body stand up straight. Hermione backed away from him, looking slightly unsure of herself and biting her bottom lip.

"I-I'm sorry," she stammered. "I don't know what I was think-"

Before she could make more of a fool of herself, Draco pressed his lips to hers again, letting out a quiet groan when he felt her body relax against his. He wrapped his arms tightly around her, pulling her flush against him. He ran his hands up underneath her top, pressing his palms against her back as she moaned and arched against him. All he wanted was to hear her make that noise again. Draco bit her bottom lip and gently tugged and sucked on it, silently begging her to open her mouth so he could deepen their kiss. She let out another quiet moan and Draco took that opportunity to slip his tongue in between her lips and into her mouth.

It was perfect. She wasn't passive like most girls he kissed. She kissed him like she wanted him as much as he wanted her. Neither of them could control it.

Draco bent down and wrapped his hands around the backs of her legs, lifting her up and placing her on the counter of the booth behind him. She automatically wrapped her legs around his waist and rolled her hips against his. Draco swore he saw stars when she moved like that.

"Fuck, Granger," Draco murmured against her neck, finally breaking their kiss so that they could catch their breath. "If you keep doing that, I'm going to want to have you right here."

Hermione just let out another moan in response and ran her hands through his hair, pulling his mouth back up to her own. Draco gifted her with a few more short kisses on her lips, before he kissed and nipped at a spot behind her ear that had her gasping and moaning his name. She was still grinding her hips against his desperately and it wasn't long before Draco found himself holding her closer and mimicking her movements.

"Granger," he breathed into her ear. "We need to go."

"Mm. Don't want to stop," she gasped out before kissing down his neck.

Draco felt a certain part of his anatomy twitch in appreciation at her words. His pants felt unbearably tight, and Draco used the last of his willpower to pull himself away from the intoxicating brunette in front of him.

Once there was a good foot of distance between them, the two of them stared at each other in shock, trying to catch their breath. Hermione's clothes were rumpled, and her lips slightly swollen from his many kisses. She looked like something from an erotic dream and Draco couldn't really believe he'd been the one to do that to her.

"You're place or mine?" Draco whispered, half expecting her to say neither and leave him like this.

_If she leaves now, I'll fucking kill myself,_ he thought to himself, watching her with increasing anxiety as she carefully considered her options.

"Yours."

* * *

It wasn't long before Draco had Hermione pressed up against the front door of his apartment, kissing her like his life depended on it. He felt her fish in his pockets for his keys before placing them in his hand and going to work on his neck. Draco fumbled with the lock, having trouble inserting the tiny key into the even tinier hole with Hermione breathing against his skin. Finally, he managed to get the door unlocked. Draco opened the door and picked up the much smaller girl, moaning when he felt her wrap her legs around his waist. He loved when she did that.

Once he got into his bedroom, Draco threw Hermione onto the bed staring at her hungrily for a moment before getting on top of her. She immediately rewrapped her legs around him, effectively keeping him pressed against her, not that Draco wanted it any other way. When she began to grind against him, Draco pulled himself away from her lips and buried his face in her hair at the base of her neck, trying to take deep breaths to calm himself down.

"Granger," he murmured, kissing her neck gently. "Slow down, we've got all night."

"Why waste time?" she whispered back and gave him a seductive grin.

She somehow managed to use her legs to flip them over so that she was perched on top of him. When Draco saw her sitting on him with his hands on her hips and her hair falling down her shoulders in curly waves, he felt like he could die happy right then. She slowly started to roll her hips again, smirking when he threw his head back and tightened his grip on her.

"Damn it," he hissed through clenched teeth, trying in vain to remind himself why they should go slower.

_If I cum in my pants like a fucking virgin,_ Draco thought to himself, _I will hate myself forever._

Hermione pulled him up into a sitting position and planted another deep, mind-blowing kiss on his lips. Draco had no idea how he'd somehow become the submissive one, following her lead and doing whatever she wanted him to do, but when Hermione pulled his shirt over his shoulders and raked her nails down his back, Draco didn't have any complaints.

"God Granger," he managed when her cool hands came into contact with the hot skin on his chest. "Zabini, Harry, and whoever else are fucking idiots for ever saying they don't want you after having you like this."

"I'm a virgin," she murmured against his lips before kissing him again.

_"What?"_ Draco asked in alarm, pulling away from her. "_Why?"_

If he'd been less surprised and more focused, Draco would've notice how Hermione's body tensed on top of him.

"What do you mean?" she said, narrowing her eyes.

"I mean," Draco began, even while a part of him screamed at him to stop talking, "how are you twenty years old and didn't have sex with someone you were in a relationship with for three years."

"I didn't want to," she bit out.

"That doesn't make sense."

"_And why not_?"

"Three years is a long time Granger," Draco explained. "You really kept Zabini a virgin for all that time? Plus, what about all of those other guys from over the summer? You're telling me none of them fucked you? That's hard to believe."

It was then that Draco finally noticed how her eyes were no longer filled with lust, but instead with murder.

_Shit._

"What I meant to say," Draco began in a last, desperate attempt to calm down the furious girl who was dangerously close to his most prized possession and had already shown she could easily hurt a man there if she wanted to.

The next second, she was off of him and throwing various items she found in his room at his head. First came a shirt, then a shoe and then a coffee mug and finally a book. Deciding that the books were going to cause the most damage, she continued to throw every book she could find at him.

"_GRANGER!" _he shouted, dodging a textbook that went flying past his head. "_CALM DOWN!_"

It occurred to Draco right after he said it that it was the wrong thing for him to say.

_"CALM DOWN?!" _she roared. "_You want me to calm down?!_ _If you ever come near me again, I will castrate you and throw you out of a fucking window! DOES YOUR TINY, MORONIC BRAIN UNDERSTAND THAT MALFOY?!"_

Another textbook went flying towards him and hit Draco directly in the stomach. He dropped to the floor like a sack of potatoes, groaning in pain as he rubbed his abs. She gave him one last venomous glare before marching out of his room, past a wide-eyed Theo, who woke up because of the chaos, and out the door. By the time Draco had recovered enough to go after her, Hermione was already gone. He leaned against the door frame and groaned, cursing himself for being so stupid.

Theo looked at the still open front door and then at Draco's bruised and tired form again.

"To be fair, you got a lot farther than I ever thought you would."

* * *

**I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Here's the next chapter! Hope you enjoy it!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot.**

* * *

One week later and Draco was still trying to figure out how to go about apologizing to a certain bookworm without getting killed in the process. He'd considered texting her, but Hermione would just ignore anything he said over the phone.

He paced back and forth in his living room as he rehearsed for the hundredth time what to say if he got the chance to talk to Hermione again.

_I'm sorry Granger. I'm an idiot and you have every right to be mad at me. I wasn't trying to make you feel embarrassed about being a virgin. It's nothing to be ashamed of. In fact, I think it's nice that you're waiting for marriage. I know I'm not the kind of person you would want to lose your virginity to, but maybe we can go on a few dates and see where it goes from there?_

Something told him his apology wasn't good enough. Draco didn't even think he was apologizing for the right reason. The truth was he didn't really know why she was so mad at him.

Also, the idea of dating Hermione was unappealing to Draco. Not because it was her, but because he just didn't want to date anyone. He wasn't a huge believer in falling in love and Hermione seemed like the kind of person who gave all of herself to a relationship and would want him to be kind and loving in return. Draco definitely did not fit that criteria. He was first and foremost an ass. It was just easier to avoid caring about other people than to give them the chance to use him. Draco learned that the hard way.

Regardless, the fact that Hermione was a virgin pretty much eliminated any chance Draco had of having sex with her. The chances of her agreeing to casual sex in the first place were impossibly low, but now they were nonexistent. He figured he could deal with going on a couple of dates though and maybe get to at least second or third base with her. That would hopefully be enough to satisfy whatever prevented him from being with anyone besides her.

Deciding to give up trying to understand Hermione, Draco walked into his room and looked at the book on his desk apprehensively. It was light blue with gold leaf engravings in the cover. If she knew he took the little book after she dropped it at work a week ago, she would most likely attempt to kill him with it. He didn't know it was a diary when he took it hostage, but ever since he realized what it was, he couldn't ignore the little voice in his head that kept trying to convince him to read it.

_She never has to know._

But if she ever found out, he'd be dead in seconds.

Draco spun around and walked into the living room when he heard the sound of the front door swinging open to reveal a slightly wet Theo.

"Where have you been?" Draco asked sharply.

"Hello to you too," Theo responded, taking off his raincoat. "I just got back from dinner with Ron and Dean."

"Oh," Draco said before resuming his pacing.

Theo just watched the frustrated blonde walk in circles for a bit longer. After a suitable amount of time passed, he decided to speak.

"Don't you want to ask me how dinner was?"

"I can't say I really care Theo."

"Alright," Theo shrugged. "It involved Hermione, so I thought you might like to know."

Draco immediately stopped moving and faced the other boy again.

"What would I like to know?"

"Hermione called Dean at the end of dinner and she was really drunk. He left a little early to find her."

"Why would I care about that?" Draco muttered.

"Just thought you might find it interesting."

"Well, I don't."

"Alright then," Theo nodded, walking into the kitchen to get a drink from the fridge.

It only took a few seconds for Theo to hear Draco mutter a string of curse words under his breath before he grabbed his own coat and keys and stomped towards the exit.

"She's at the Hogshead around the corner." Theo said smugly as he left the apartment.

Draco's only response was to hold up his middle finger, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

The Hogshead was a well-known bar at NYU. It was where most college students went to drink before going to football games. It was obvious that tonight was one of the bar's more popular nights. There were drunk frat boys and sorority girls all over the place. Each one was holding a beer and laughing loudly. A few were chugging their drinks while others cheered them on. The entire room smelled like alcohol, sweat and general body odor, causing Draco to shudder in slight horror when he walked in.

Draco typically avoided bars, preferring to go to parties if he went out because there was usually a lot more room. He didn't like the idea of strangers touching him, and at bars it was inevitable that someone would accidentally spill their drink or throw up on him.

"Hey," a red-haired girl with enormous breasts said, grinning up at him and wrapping her hand around his arm.

Draco winced at the thought of her most likely alcohol drenched fingers touching his expensive, designer coat. He hated it when random people came into contact with him or his clothing without his explicit consent. Some people called it being neurotic, but he liked to think he was just being normal and everyone else was weird.

"Can I help you?"

"You could buy me a drink?"

"Uh, well-"

"I won't take no for an answer," she winked.

Instead of responding, Draco desperately scanned the bar for the girl he came here for. Finally, Draco spotted Hermione sitting at a table in the corner across from Dean and let out a sigh of relief.

"Sorry, I'm busy."

He shrugged off the girl and quickly made his way through the crowd to the two familiar faces he'd seen across the room.

"Granger," he greeted, taking the empty seat next to her. "Thomas."

"Malfoy?" Dean asked, slightly shocked and confused. "What are you doing here? This doesn't seem like your kind of place."

Hermione just eyed him warily, the wheels turning slowly in her alcohol addled brain.

"Was Theo with you at dinner?" she asked Dean.

"Yes?"

Hermione let out a loud groan and faced Draco again.

"He gave you my schedule too, didn't he?"

_Well so much for leaving Theo out of it._

"You're a lot smarter when you're drunk aren't you?" Draco asked mockingly. "It's really a testament to how stupid you are normally."

She shot him a glare and grabbed a shot from the tray in front of her. Before she could drink it, Draco snatched it from her grasp and took a sniff. It was vodka.

"You really should stop drinking so much, Granger."

"You really should stop following me around, Malfoy," she quipped and then proceeded to ignore him, taking another shot. "Do you have a death wish? Is that why you're here?"

"I don't think you have the ability to even walk straight beautiful, much less kill me."

Draco was pleased with himself when he saw her tense after he called her 'beautiful.' It made him happy knowing when he unnerved her.

"Malfoy, get lost," Dean snapped. "I can take care of her myself."

Draco paused his conversation with Hermione for a moment to disinterestedly glance at the other boy sitting at the table. His tone was harsher than was warranted. Draco had done a lot of things to piss people off, but he couldn't remember doing anything specific to make Dean angry in the past.

He slowly grinned as he came to a realization. While those rumors about Hermione and Dean having sex over the summer weren't true, it looked like they weren't completely false either. It was obvious from the way the other boy kept glancing worriedly at Hermione, and jealously at Draco after he called her beautiful, that he liked the frizzy haired brunette. Judging from the way he kept shifting nervously in his chair whenever she accidentally brushed against him, Dean liked her a lot. And Draco effectively ruined their little private moment together. He wondered if Hermione knew this delightful piece of information.

"As much as I would love to fulfill your fantasy of having a drunk Granger all to yourself," Draco drawled lazily, "I think I'm going to stay and make sure she gets home safe."

Dean's eyes widened in shock before he narrowed them threateningly.

"You better be quiet Malfoy or I'll-"

"You'll what?" Draco snarled. "What'll you do Thomas?"

"Keep talking and you'll find out."

"Oh really? Well, in that case-"

_"SHUT UP!_" Hermione finally shouted. "_BOTH OF YOU JUST SHUT UP!_ I swear you're both acting like children. What are you even arguing about? You barely know each other at all! You've probably only talked to each other once or twice in your entire life! Just fucking apologize to the other person and act your own age."

"Speaking of apologizing," Draco began, ignoring everything else she said. "Granger, I-"

"I said shut up."

"But-"

"Shut. _Up_."

"I'm trying to-"

"I don't _want_ to hear your apology Malfoy!" Hermione growled angrily, taking another shot of vodka. "I already know you have no idea why I'm upset, so don't even bother trying."

"Well I can take a guess," Draco said.

"You know what? Instead of guessing and making me even more mad, how about I just tell you? I don't like talking about how I'm a virgin after having a three-year long relationship. The fact that I'm a virgin doesn't bother me, but the fact that I'm one after being with someone for three years does. Then everyone always assumes I'm a prude, or that he was abusive, or that I'm waiting for marriage when the truth is, I don't fucking know why I didn't have sex with him. I don't like explaining myself about this and I don't know why I should even have to. And if I can't give a good enough reason, people assume something's wrong with me. So, I don't talk about it, but then everyone believes I've had sex with all these different people instead because Lavender told everyone that Blaise and I fucked when we didn't. And it's ridiculous because then that's all people care about and they think I'm a slut." She finally put down the shots and turned to face Draco. "You know why I decided to give you a chance Malfoy? It's because you just wanted me. You didn't seem to care if I had sex with anyone else. You just wanted me. But then you found out I'm a virgin right? Was the appeal gone then? You only want me if someone else does?"

Draco opened his mouth to protest. None of what she was saying was true. That wasn't why he stopped them from going any further. Before he could say anything though, Dean interjected.

"_You almost slept with Malfoy?_"

"_And you_," Hermione spat, turning towards the other boy with an even deadlier glare. "Don't even get me started on _you_. You're worse than Malfoy. You said you like me, right? But all that changed when you found out someone else even touched me. What? A man can have flings and hookups, but when a woman does it makes her a slut? I can't believe that was your reasoning for why something couldn't happen between us. But that's not even the worst part! After that whole fiasco, I tried my best to stay friends with you, didn't I? And what did you do? You either flat out ignored me or you kept suggesting I broke your heart. Were you trying to make me feel guilty or something? Because in case you haven't realized yet, _I DIDN'T BREAK YOUR HEART!_"

She slammed a glass down onto the table, causing it to crack slightly.

"Granger," Draco muttered, placing his hand on her shoulder in a futile attempt to calm her down.

"Maybe Hannah's right," she sighed, shrugging off Draco's hand and downing another shot. "Maybe I'm just a fucking slut and I just lead people on and bitch about them behind their backs."

"Wait," Dean said frowning, "what happened with Hannah? I thought you two were friends?"

"I started talking to this guy from Syracuse that she knows. Hannah said she was fine with it, but apparently, they made out once at the beginning of the year. Both of them said it didn't matter though, so I kept talking to him, but then Hannah told me I should stay away from him because he would want me to hook up with him when he comes to NYU in a week and that if I didn't say yes then I would just end up hurting his feelings. But then I talked to him and he said that he was fine with nothing happening, because he knew I was a virgin and that I had trouble hooking up with people over the summer. I got mad at Hannah for telling him about all the shit that happened over the summer and the fact that I was a virgin and she got pissed and said I was complaining to her friend about her behind her back, which I don't remember doing, but I don't know why else she would say it unless I did it. Now she won't even talk to me and I honestly can't bring myself to care anymore, which shows how shitty of a person I really am."

Hermione's head was on the table at this point, and her entire rambling breakdown was pretty much muffled by her arm, but Draco still managed to interpret most of it.

"I just shouldn't be allowed to talk to people ever. It's my fault people leave me," she moaned sadly before resting her head on Draco's shoulder, much to Dean's blatant displeasure.

"Okay, Granger," Draco said, using his hand to steady her when she started swaying a little in her seat. It honestly surprised him that she wasn't slurring her words given how drunk she was. "I'm sure whatever happened between you and Hannah will work itself out, but let's focus on getting you home for now."

Draco turned around and easily lifted her onto his back, grabbing her legs to keep them secured around his waist and instructing her to wrap her arms around his neck. Suddenly tired from the alcohol and noise, Hermione didn't resist at all.

"I can take her home by myself Malfoy," Dean growled, moving to take the drunk girl away from Draco.

"Yeah, yeah Thomas," Draco said, "you're a big macho man who can protect her. She can't walk and I can carry her the whole way. I really doubt you can do that, but if you want to try, be my guest. She's not light, I can tell you that."

Draco heard a mumbled, slightly offended, protest against his neck. Truthfully, it felt like Hermione weighed very little since she wasn't very big to begin with, but Draco wasn't about to tell Dean that.

After some hesitation, Dean relented to the taller boy and allowed him to lead the way out of the bar with Hermione on his back. The three of them walked in silence for a little bit before they reached an intersection.

"I can take her from here Malfoy," Dean insisted, trying again to pry her away from Draco.

Hermione sleepily swatted Dean's hands away from her and held onto Draco tighter.

"No. Smells good."

"Granger," Draco choked out, tapping the arm that was wrapped tightly around his neck, "release your grip a little unless you want me to die."

"I'm okay with that."

"_Granger_."

She sighed and loosened her grip a little, resting her head on his shoulder and humming contentedly. Draco readjusted his grip on her legs before turning to face the other boy.

"I've got her, Thomas. It looks like she doesn't want to go with you anyway."

"She's just drunk Malfoy. She trusts me more than you."

"Didn't sound like it at the bar."

"Malfoy," Dean began angrily, "if you think I'm going to let you-"

"_Oh, dear god!_" Hermione finally shouted from behind Draco, "can the two of you compare dick sizes some other time? How about I go with Malfoy because, oh I don't know, he lives closer to me, he's already carrying me and because _I said so_. And stop worrying about Malfoy murdering me Dean. He wants to sleep with me, and he can't do that if I'm dead."

Hermione sloppily patted the blonde boy's head a little harder than she probably meant to. Draco frowned, knowing she probably messed up his hair.

"Now can the two of you _please_ shut up? Some of us are trying to sleep!"

She then promptly nestled her face back in the crook of Draco's neck, taking deep breaths that made the hair on the back of his neck stand up straight.

"Fine," Dean finally relented, sounding slightly unsure but also not wanting to anger the drunk girl more than he already did. "Text me when you get home Hermione."

She murmured an agreement and Draco watched Dean finally walk away, leaving them alone.

"Alright, Granger," Draco said, jumping a little to shift her farther up his back. "Let's get you home."

"_Shh_."

Draco rolled his eyes and walked another block. He thought she fell asleep, but after a couple of minutes she spoke up again.

"Why do you think people fight?"

"Go to sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do."

"Fine Granger," Draco sighed. "I think people fight because everyone's shitty and it's what they're good at. It's easier to fight and argue than to sacrifice your pride and apologize."

"Not for me," she said thoughtfully next to his ear. "I hate fighting with someone. I always apologize."

"Because you're a nice person."

"Hannah's a nice person."

"Maybe. But you care about other people more than yourself. You let people step all over you, as long as it means they're happy."

She shook her head aggressively, almost causing Draco to lose his grip on her.

"No, this time it was my fault."

"I don't think it matter whose fault it is Granger, what matters is being willing to talk about it. You're always willing to work things out when you get into a fight with someone."

She didn't say anything and just readjusted her grip on his neck. Draco was very aware of her breathing on the shell of his ear in her new position.

"Do you think I'm weak, Malfoy? And that I let other people fuck me over?"

"I don't think you're weak," he said thoughtfully, "I do think you let other people fuck you over because you want them to be happy. I don't think that means you should apologize all the time though, especially when you didn't do anything wrong."

"Isn't it better to just apologize if it means people will stop fighting?" she asked.

"Depends, do you feel happy after apologizing?"

"No. I feel like they'll just hurt me again."

"Exactly Granger. Care more about whether or not you're happy and less about what other people are thinking. There's no good reason for you to have to apologize for other people's mistakes."

She considered his words, resting her head tiredly against the back of his.

"You must not care if anyone's happy, Malfoy," she asked, even though it wasn't really a question. "You don't care about what anyone thinks."

"I care if you're happy."

"Why?"

"Because then you're less of a bitch," Draco said teasingly, tickling the back of her knee.

Hermione slapped his arm and he could practically feel her glaring holes into the back of his head.

"Takes one to know one."

"Haha."

He was within eyesight of his apartment now, and in another ten minutes, he would be at Hermione's. Suddenly, the slight drizzle that was surrounding them earlier, turned into torrential rain. The girl on Draco's back was quickly becoming soaking wet and shivering against him. He thought quickly and put Hermione down, ignoring her many, slightly sleepy, complaints and deciding they could get out of the rain faster if he wasn't carrying her. When he saw her shaking slightly from the cold, he shrugged out of his own coat without even thinking about it and wrapped it around her shoulders, bringing her close to his body and trying to shield her from the rain as much as possible.

They quickly ran under the awning of his apartment building. Draco was in a pretty foul mood after getting drenched, but Hermione was laughing.

"What's so funny?" Draco asked, pulling the hood of the coat over her head and tucking her hair behind her ears.

"The rain," she answered, smiling up at him brightly. "Haven't you ever played in the rain?"

"No Granger. I don't usually do things that are meant for children, especially when it could get me sick."

"You're no fun," she pouted slightly.

Hermione looked so happy and innocent in his oversized coat with the rain droplets glistening in her hair. Her lips were parted in a wide grin and he couldn't help but stare at the picture she made in front of him. Clearing his throat uncomfortably, Draco tried to distract himself by buttoning up his coat to try and make her a little warmer.

"Mhhm, sorry beautiful. I'm not really a playful person."

Hermione gave him a devious smirk before wiggling out of his grasp and running into the rain. She spun around in the middle of the empty street, kicking the water up in his direction.

"Bet you can't catch me!"

"Granger!" Draco shouted. "Get your ass back over here!"

"Nope!"

Draco groaned and prayed he wouldn't get sick. He then ran into the rain after her. She screamed when she saw him coming towards her and then laughed after quickly dodging him, causing Draco to almost slip and fall.

"Missed me, missed me, now you've got to kiss me!" she called, sticking her tongue out at him.

"Real mature Granger."

"I know you are, but what am I?"

"A child?" he grinned, finally managing to catch her.

Draco couldn't contain his laughter as he wrapped his arms around her waist, picking her up and swinging her around in a semicircle. He liked that her arms remained securely wrapped around his neck when he finally put her down and let her try to catch her breath.

"What was that you said about having to kiss you now?" Draco murmured, watching her raise her hand to brush some of his wet, platinum blonde locks out of his face.

Her only response was a loud sneeze. Draco grimaced, holding her at arm's length.

"Never mind."

"You got me sick."

"Me?" He asked incredulously, "You're the one who ran into the rain like an idiot."

"It was the only way you'd come out here," Hermione explained as if it was obvious. "Honestly, what kind of person has never played in the rain before."

Draco ignored her and led her back to his apartment building. The rain didn't look like it was going to stop anytime soon, and he didn't want to risk getting Hermione even more wet.

"Can I stay here tonight?" came a quiet voice from next to him.

Draco turned to look at Hermione staring up at him with impossibly wide eyes.

"Luna and Padma aren't home. They're back in Fayetteville this weekend and I-" she hesitated. "I don't want to be alone right now."

Draco sighed, knowing it was probably not a good idea, but unable to say no to her.

"Yeah Granger," Draco said, telling her something he'd never told another woman in his life. "You can spend the night."

* * *

Once Draco got her inside the apartment he shared with Theo, he helped her out of his coat and led her over to the couch in their living room. He then wrapped her up in a nice thick blanket and proceeded to make her a hot drink, taking his wet shirt off as he entered the kitchen.

"Coffee or tea?" Draco asked the shivering girl, ignoring his own wet and cold body in favor of making her more comfortable.

She frowned slightly at both of her options and Draco remembered that she never drank either beverage during their time at Hogwarts. Rolling his eyes, he scanned the pantry again until he found what he was looking for. Draco held up a cardboard box advertising a smiling cartoon marshmallow relaxing in a red cup filled with hot, brown liquid.

"Better?"

Hermione grinned when she saw the hot chocolate in his hand and nodded happily.

"Thank you."

"Yeah, yeah," Draco grumbled as he heated up some milk and dumped the brown cocoa powder into it before mixing the sugary concoction together. "I will never understand you and your sweet tooth."

"It's a delightful quirk of mine."

He scoffed and handed her the hot mug, cautioning her to be careful not to burn herself and adjusting the blanket around her so that it was snug. Draco then went into his room to take a brisk shower. When he emerged about fifteen minutes later, he found that Hermione wandered into his room and was looking through the books on his bookshelf. Draco tensed, wondering if she noticed her journal sitting in plain sight on his desk, but she remained blissfully unaware of that little fact as she thumbed through the pages of his copy of _Wuthering_ _Heights_ by Emily Brontë.

"We read this for class during our seventh year," Hermione murmured, tracing over his meticulous annotations thoughtfully. "I know we've known each other for a long time and that we both went to Hogwarts, but it doesn't really hit me how long we've been around each other most of the time."

"I know what you mean," Draco said, smiling slightly and watching her retreat into her own little world that was filled with books.

Five years later and they were in his room together. It felt like so much changed, but it also felt like nothing did. There was something inexplicably right about being here with her after all this time.

"_Malfoy!_"

"What?" Draco replied, snapping out of his thoughts.

"You're _naked_," she said, averting her eyes and gesturing to his towel clad form.

Draco looked down at his black towel, hanging low around his hips. He rolled his eyes and looked back at Hermione.

"I'm very much not naked. Plus, it's your fault for coming in here. Go take a shower though. I laid out some clothes for you in the closet."

Hermione disappeared into the bathroom without another word. Once he heard the sound of running water that accompanied the shower turning on, Draco took her journal from his desk and shoved it deep into his backpack before zipping it up and throwing it haphazardly into a corner of the room. Running a hand through his hair and sighing with relief at the fact that he wasn't caught, Draco quickly changed into the pajama bottoms he brought with him from his closet and laid down, waiting for Hermione to finish showering.

* * *

_I am in Draco Malfoy's apartment about to take a shower in Draco Malfoy's bathroom. _Well no fucking duh. _That's not normal. _Another overt observation courtesy of my brain.

I shook my head and tried to clear my thoughts, which was becoming increasingly difficult since the effects of the alcohol I drank earlier were beginning to wear off.

Draco's bathroom was pristine. Everything was in its proper place and there were a variety of hair and skin care products laid out on the counter in a neat row.

_I knew his hair wasn't naturally that soft_.

I fought back a yawn and undressed before getting into the shower. It felt so nice and warm that part of me wanted to just fall asleep in there. Unfortunately, I remembered that there was a tall, irritating blonde most likely waiting for me in the next room. And if I didn't finish showering soon, he may come in to see if I'm okay, which would then lead to him seeing me naked. I blanched at that thought, despite the fact that I'd almost slept with him a week ago, and tried my best to finish showering as fast as possible.

Ten minutes later, I entered his large walk-in closet. I rolled my eyes when I saw the long lines of designer clothing, with rows of expensive shoes underneath them. Each article of clothing was placed on a black, velvet hanger and was spaced exactly two fingers apart from any adjacent hangers. On a shelf next to the door, there was an old, ratty long-sleeved gray t-shirt and a pair of flannel blue and white pajama bottoms folded neatly. They looked out of place among all of his fancy clothes, so I assumed they were meant for me.

After I changed, I exited the bathroom, rubbing my eyes tiredly and stretching my arms over my head. When I opened my eyes and focused again, I saw Draco staring at me.

"What?" I frowned, looking down at the baggy clothes I was wearing. "Were these not what I was supposed to wear?"

"No, they are," Draco managed, his voice sounding slightly strangled. After clearing his throat, he continued in a much steadier voice. "You can sleep here, and I'll sleep on the couch."

"You can sleep here," I offered. "I don't mind the couch."

"It's fine, Granger," he said, moving past me into the closet to grab some extra sheets and a pillow.

I watched him for a minute, but before he could leave his bedroom, I grabbed his arm.

"Can you stay for a little bit?" I asked sheepishly. "I'm not really tired yet."

He looked at me with an unreadable expression and then pulled his desk chair to the side of the bed, gesturing for me to sit down in front of him. I quickly got under the covers and pulled the sheets up to my chin. He was watching me intently and it was making me more and more nervous with each passing second.

"Stop staring at me," I muttered.

"You're in my bed."

"So?"

"So I'm allowed to look at my bed," he said shrugging. "And you happen to be in it."

I glared at him, pulling the sheets over my head. After a few minutes of silence, I peeked over the blanket and found that he was leaning back in his chair with his eyes closed. His chest, which was lacking a shirt, was rising and falling in time with his deep breaths. He looked oddly peaceful and I was reminded of the last time I'd seen him like this in a meadow what felt like an entire lifetime ago.

"I know I'm hot, Granger," Draco said, smirking slightly and keeping his eyes closed, "but there's no reason to stare."

_How does he always know when I'm looking at him?_

He opened his eyes and watched me some more.

"What's wrong?"

I squirmed under his piercing gaze.

"Nothing's wrong."

"Don't lie to me, Granger," he said gently, taking a strand of my hair into his hand and tugging on it.

"Do you really think I'm beautiful?"

He just stared at me for an unbearably long time. I avoided his eyes, wishing I didn't say anything to begin with.

"Yes, I do," he finally decided. "You're beautiful."

I moved my head in a way that could be taken as a nod or a miniature spasm and continued to look at everything else but him. Once the quiet became unbearable, I couldn't stop myself from asking the question that I'd been thinking about ever since he showed up in my life again.

"Then, why did you say all those things about me when we were sixteen?" I asked.

I blame it all on the alcohol.

* * *

Draco froze when she asked that question. It was the first time either of them mentioned it when they weren't screaming at each other. When they were arguing, it was easy to avoid acknowledging it, but now there was no way for him to ignore her.

"I thought I needed to so that I could have what I wanted," Draco sighed, remembering his dream of going to Harvard, which fell apart so easily.

"Did you get it?"

"No," he said softly, playing with a few strands of her long hair absentmindedly, "I didn't. I don't think it would have mattered if I did."

"Why?" she asked, just as quietly.

"It wasn't what I really wanted."

"What do you want?"

Draco thought about her question. It had been such a long time since he wanted anything. In fact, the only thing he'd wanted in years was the brunette currently in his bed. However, while he told himself he just wanted sex from her, he didn't actually know what he wanted. Sitting there with her in his room made him feel better than he'd felt all week. If this was enough to satisfy his urge to be with her, then did he really just want sex?

"I don't know," he said finally. "I don't know what I want. I do know I'm sorry for what I did though."

She nodded understandingly and gently took his hand in hers, intertwining their fingers. Draco could already tell Hermione forgave him, and it bothered him that she did it so easily. He didn't deserve it.

"I don't know what I want either," she whispered. "I think I just want to know for sure that I'm doing the right thing and that I'm a good person. Or at least not a shitty one."

"You're a good person Granger," he reassured her. "If you aren't, then the rest of us have absolutely no chance."

"Bad things happen to bad people," she muttered in response.

"Or maybe, bad things just happen sometimes. Maybe you just need to find out what makes you happy and focus on that instead of everyone else's problems. If they really love you, then they'll be happy for you."

She looked thoughtful and slowly met his eyes.

"You make me happy," she admitted quietly. "For the first time in a long time, I don't think about all of the things I should be worried about and I don't feel weak. It feels easier being here with you than it does being with anyone else."

"I know," he said, leaning forward in his chair so that he was closer to her. "It feels good to me too."

"I don't trust you though."

"Same here, beautiful."

"I think I know one other thing I want."

"What's that?"

"You."

Draco felt his heart stop at her words. They were spoken so honestly, and even though Draco knew that the only reason she said it was because she was drunk, he also knew she meant it.

It was for that reason that he didn't protest when she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him into a deep kiss. He got out of his chair and leaned over her on the bed, relaxing when he felt her tongue trace his lips before he granted her entrance. This kiss was different from the others. It took his breath away just as easily, but it was soft and comforting instead of passionate and reckless. She was letting him take the lead this time, choosing to remain underneath him and trace his abs with her fingers.

"Granger," he moaned softly, kissing up her neck to that spot behind her ear that made her shiver whenever he touched it.

Normally, Draco would try and move things along faster with other girls, but with Hermione he just wanted to take his time so that he could always look back and remember how it felt to touch her. Hermione always seemed like she was in a rush, but now she was relaxed and patiently waiting for his lingering caresses under him.

Draco wanted her so badly. He wondered how he survived this long without knowing how it felt to kiss her and taste her skin. His hands ran up her back under his shirt, pulling her against his chest. He could feel her nipples rubbing against his chest through the thin material that kept her chest covered.

That shirt was why he stared at her earlier. When she walked out of the bathroom, looking like a sleepy mess and wearing his oversized clothes, Draco felt like he couldn't breathe. There was nothing flattering about what she was wearing, yet he couldn't look away. And when he finally realized that he could see her nipples through his shirt since she'd forgone her wet bra, every sane thought in his head went out the window.

Her hands grazing over the top of his pants brought Draco out of his lust induced haze. Draco quickly grabbed her hands in one of his own and held them away from the part of his body that was practically begging her to touch him.

"No," he choked out.

Draco saw the brief hurt in her eyes, before it was quickly replaced by anger.

"Move," she hissed, pushing against his chest in an attempt to get him off of her.

He batted her hands away with one of his own and tilted her chin up so that he could look directly into her eyes.

"No, because I want you to be sure."

She stopped fighting him then and just looked at him in confusion.

"I don't want love or a relationship," she said.

"I know," he replied, "but I want you to know for sure that you want me to be the one to do this. If you say you want this when you're not drunk, then I'll believe you and I promise nothing will stop me from being with you. This isn't because you're a virgin or because of anything you've done with anyone else. I want you. Whether you've been with a hundred people or nobody. I will still want you."

For a brief moment, the guard that Draco had seen in Hermione's eyes came down and he saw so much raw emotion written plainly across her face that it shocked him. Before he could determine what that emotion was, it was like a curtain was drawn across her face and she was on her guard again. Hermione searched his eyes for something for another moment before planting a chaste kiss on his lips.

"There's a good chance I will never admit I want you sober."

"I'm willing to risk it."

She smiled slightly at that.

"I haven't come close to wanting anyone since Blaise," she murmured quietly looking up at him. "I thought I didn't have it in me to ever want someone again. I can barely even care about other people like I used to. Then you came along and really fucked me up, didn't you?"

Draco chuckled and kissed her forehead gently, pulling away from her and sitting back in his chair next to the bed.

"I do have a talent for doing that."

He took her hand in his again and kissed the back of it with more tenderness than he'd ever shown another living thing.

"Don't leave me alone," she muttered sleepily, tightening her grip a little. "Please."

He knew she was just talking about tonight, but his next words fell from his lips surprisingly easily.

"I'm sorry I ever did."

* * *

**Hope you liked the chapter! Remember to favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think! (:**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hello! Here's the next chapter! I got overwhelmed with exams so it was hard to update, but I promise I will finish this story! The next chapter will be posted soon and will be filled with a lot more Hermione and Draco moments!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot!**

* * *

Draco woke up the next morning with a start. His neck and back were killing him and for some reason he was sitting in his desk chair, facing his bed. Wondering if he'd fallen asleep while doing schoolwork, Draco looked around for any sign that he'd been studying. Finally, his gaze landed on a pair of his pajamas neatly folded on the corner of his perfectly made bed.

He suddenly remembered walking the brunette that occupied so many of his thoughts lately through the rain and ending up back at his apartment. He also remembered a kiss that shook him to his very core and stopping them from going any further.

Draco immediately shot up out of his chair, watching as a little piece of paper ripped out of the journal on his desk floated onto the floor in front of him. It looked like it was carefully taped to his forehead sometime after he fell asleep. He bent down and picked up the paper, turning it over in his hand.

_Thanks._

That's all it said in messy handwriting. Draco checked the clock on the wall. Seeing that it was ten in the morning, he rushed out of his room and found Theo sitting in the living room by himself with a cup of coffee and a book.

"Morning. Anything you want to tell me?"

"Where is she?" Draco asked, scanning the room for any sign of her.

"If you mean Hermione," Theo replied, lazily turning another page. "She left an hour ago. I cooked her some breakfast and then she said she needed to go."

"You cooked her breakfast?"

"Well I put cereal in a bowl and told her to at least eat it before she left."

"That's not cooking, Theo."

Theo shrugged, finally looking up at the frazzled blonde.

"You weren't up yet. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Maybe learn how to be competent for once," Draco muttered, trying to hide his disappointment and turning to go back into his room.

"Why would I? Especially when I have such a pretty live in cook?" Theo called before the door to Draco's room slammed shut.

Draco laid down in his bed and closed his eyes. It still smelt like her a little.

He didn't really know what to do with himself now that she was gone. After a moment's hesitation, Draco got up and opened his backpack, pulling out her journal.

_She doesn't need to know._ _I can just take a little peak. What's the harm in that?_

Draco opened the little journal to find all kinds of sketches and reminders that Hermione jotted down for herself. It looked like she hadn't written her thoughts in it for a long time. The more recent pages were filled with studying tips and strategies for the freshman that she helped teach. He flipped back towards the beginning of the book and found his name written down several times. A quick scan revealed that it was just recounts of the various times he irritated her over the years. Draco rolled his eyes. Trust the bookworm to keep a detailed account of every time he pissed her off.

Draco flipped forward about fifty pages until he reached one that had some water damage and had become worn over time. It wasn't a lot, but the little circles of water dotting the page were noticeable.

_He doesn't even look at me anymore. It's like we never even knew each other. It makes me feel crazy. Almost like all of the memories of us were just made up by me. Like it never actually happened._

_I miss him. It's ridiculous how much I do. Ginny thinks it's because I love him, but I think it's because I feel free when I'm with him. I don't feel like I'm drowning in responsibilities and expectations when we're together. I can just be myself, because we just accept each other for who we are and we're honest when the other person fucks up. At least, I thought we were like that._

_On one hand, it doesn't feel like I'll ever really know Draco, but it also feels like I don't need to guess with him. I used to be able to count on him to tell me exactly what he was thinking, but ever since this past summer it feels like he's changed. He cares more about what other people think now, which is weird to me. He's the one who told me to just be myself when we first met, but I guess it's harder to know who that is when you start to grow up._

_I should forget about him, but I can't. I think about him every day and I wish we could go back to normal, but then I hear his voice telling Adrian I'm disgusting. I never expected Draco to think I was anything special, but I did think we were at least friends. Now I know though. All the times he made fun of how I looked or acted or anything else. That was the truth. It wasn't just teasing. That's what he actually thinks of me and I'm a fucking idiot for thinking he ever cared about me._

_I still have Ginny, Padma and Luna, but I feel like I don't really know anyone anymore._

Draco stopped reading and traced his fingers over the spots where water had wrinkled the paper. They were her tears. He'd made her cry. The idea was unbelievable to him, and made his chest feel heavy with guilt. She always seemed so immovable and put together. The only times he'd ever seen her lose her composure was when she was angry. In five years, he'd never actually seen her sad. Knowing he'd been able to hurt her in the past, upset him more than he thought it would.

Draco frowned and flipped forward a few more pages, trying to ignore his immediate urge to find Hermione. He didn't know what he would say. He just wanted to be with her right then. After many pages, Draco stopped again on a new entry during their seventh year at Hogwarts.

_Malfoy's been staring at me a lot lately. I don't know what his problem is. He also keeps snapping at Blaise and insulting him for no reason. We were at Ron's birthday party this past weekend, and Malfoy actually told Blaise that he should get up and move down to the other end of the table because he wanted to sit by Hannah. There were empty seats next to him, and he still wanted Blaise to move. I obviously got angry and asked why the fuck my boyfriend should have to move, but neither of them even answered me and just continued to glare at each other. Malfoy left early from the party. I don't actually think he stayed to eat dinner._

_I think it's because of me. He hates me for some reason. I sort of understand, because part of me hates him too, but he did something to me. He terrorized me for two years. What did I ever do to him?_

_Blaise tells me not to think about it. I think he's jealous, though he has no reason to be. We've been working on that. He gets jealous pretty easily, but he's also so unbelievably sweet to me. It feels like he saved me from myself, which is something I'll always be thankful for. _

_He came over today and a slow song started playing on the radio, so Blaise started dancing with me. It felt like everything slowed down. My head stopped hurting and I felt so comfortable resting against him while we danced._

_The way he makes me feel is unbelievable. I feel like I can laugh again, without holding anything back and it's been so long since I felt this free. Blaise is honestly-_

Draco stopped reading and flipped towards the end of the journal. Reading the entries where she was happy with that dick not only upset him because it was Blaise, but also because he knew what would end up happening to her. He'd known they were close at Hogwarts, because they were always seen together during their sixth and seventh years, but he had no idea she viewed him so highly.

_He made her feel free,_ Draco thought to himself. _She said I used to make her feel like that too._

Shaking his head, Draco stopped flipping through the pages and began to read again. This entry was dated during the spring semester of their freshman year at NYU. Hermione was already back together with the idiot at that point.

_He's yelling at me again. It feels like it's always about him. I'm so tired of all this. Why does it feel like we're always fighting and he's never listening to me? It's also completely unfair. Why am I not allowed to ask him where he is and get worried when he doesn't answer me for days, but he's allowed to bitch at me when I'm a couple of hours late coming home after class, so I can't immediately call him. Then he goes on and on about how I don't understand that he needs a lot of sleep and time to relax because he has to work a lot. It's like it never even occurs to him that I'm doing so much here just to make sure there's even a chance I can get into medical school. Everything is ALWAYS about him. Why am I putting myself through this? I've lost all respect for myself for letting him back into my life._

_But then he tells me he needs me. What am I supposed to do then?_

The blonde frowned slightly as he read. Things obviously took a turn for the worse. He hated knowing what she'd gone through in that hellish relationship, but he couldn't stop reading. It felt like he was getting a little peek into her life over the past few years and he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious about it.

Draco scanned through a few more pages before finally landing on an entry from a few months ago over the summer. He laid back against his pillows and settled in to read the long entry, immersing himself in her words.

* * *

I woke up gasping for breath, with my heart racing and in dark, unfamiliar surroundings. I couldn't remember the last time I woke up normally. I instinctively glanced at the empty space in the bed next to me, expecting to see Blaise sleeping. That's when I remembered the events of the past few days and felt my heart break a little bit more.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think through the pounding in my head. The sheets were drenched with sweat and I was shaking uncontrollably. Taking deep breaths, I tried to focus on calming down. I'd been sleeping in my sister's room ever since Blaise and I broke up because of countless memories of him sleeping with me in my own bedroom

_I'm okay. It's over. I don't need him._ Maybe he changed his mind though? You should text him to make sure. _NO! DON'T TEXT HIM!_ You're just checking on him. It doesn't mean anything.

Before I could stop myself, I reached for my phone and opened my messages. I scrolled down to his name and opened our conversation. And then I just stopped. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know if there was anything left to say.

I felt my heart rate slow down and checked the alarm clock next to me and saw the bright red four o'clock. Groaning, I put my phone back on the headboard of my sister's bed and stared up at the ceiling, which was illuminated by the soft yellow glow of the childish moon-shaped, nightlight plugged in near the bed, which was covered in fluffy, horrendously pink sheets.

I never slept well to begin with, but for the past few days I managed to fall asleep at around midnight, only to wake up four hours later. It was like clockwork. I was always exhausted, but I couldn't go back to sleep because of the nightmares. I had bad dreams almost every night since I was twelve years old, making it hard for me to calm down long enough to sleep anymore. As a result, Blaise started to call me through the night, so when I woke up crying or screaming, I would know he was there and that everything was okay.

I blinked back my tears at that realization. I was going to have to sleep alone from now on. These nightmares were bad, but I knew they could be worse. Right now, it was just memories of Blaise and dreams of him coming back, but in the past my dreams were about burglars, murderers and rapists. My parents tried to teach me about all of the dangers in the world when I was younger, showing me news articles about people walking home alone that got kidnapped and hurt because they weren't being safe. A lot of the time it wasn't even a safety issue, it was simply a case of someone being in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, to my parents, these were all teaching opportunities for them to use so that my sister and I could learn about the possible dangers in the world. That's when the nightmares started, and they never stopped.

I sighed and closed my eyes again, resigning myself to a couple of sleepless hours lying in bed before I could get up and finally begin the day.

* * *

"Come on, please come with us?"

I grabbed a striped blue and white blouse off of the clothes rack in front of me and showed it to the blonde currently pleading with me.

"What about this one?"

"Too frumpy," Hannah decided after a moment's consideration. "Stop changing the subject. Come with us. It'll be fun."

"Hannah," I sighed, placing the shirt back on the rack. "I can't just leave home and go with you to Manhattan tomorrow."

"Why not? We'll only be gone for the day and I promise I'll bring you back in one piece."

"My parents barely let me wander around Fayetteville alone," I began. "There is no way they would be okay with me going to Manhattan with just a couple of other people for no reason."

"Hermione, you go to college at NYU. You're away from them for most of the year anyway. You can't keep letting them control your life! You know nothing's going to happen and I know nothing's going to happen. It doesn't matter how your parents feel because they're not you! What do _you_ want to do?"

I hesitated. It'd been a long time since I'd gone to Manhattan just for fun and I could only benefit from relaxing with Hannah far away from anywhere I could potentially run into Blaise. If it was just up to me, I would definitely want to go.

"It'll be cleansing for the soul," she tried.

"Cleansing for the soul? That's the route you're taking? When have I ever been someone who cleanses their soul?"

"Exactly," she grinned and linked her arm with mine, leading me out of the store. "You haven't cleansed your soul, so you need to soon and this is the perfect opportunity."

"That's debatable, but I'll humor you for now. Who else are you planning to bring?"

"Cedric. Do you remember him?"

Cedric Diggory was well known at Hogwarts. He was pretty much the Golden Boy. He was amazing at every sport, extremely handsome, and one of the nicest men anyone had ever known. He was also in love with Hannah when we were in our fourth year and he was in his sixth.

"You guys still talk?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're pretty close. It was awkward at first, but I don't need to tell you how sometimes someone who sees you as a potential girlfriend can become your best friend."

"You're right about that," I muttered, thinking of Harry.

"So, will you please come?" she begged one more time. "Who knows! Maybe something will happen between you and Cedric!"

"That won't be weird for you?"

"Cedric hasn't liked me in ages and I never even liked him. All of that ended once I started dating Graham."

Graham Pritchard was another one of Hannah's admirers in the past. The two of them _dated_ for almost four years before he ended it with her over the phone while she was in Colorado for college. Their entire relationship had been filled with arguments over whether or not they were officially together. It was common knowledge that Graham cheated on Hannah countless times during their relationship, which led to Hannah making excuses for him and saying that she didn't want anything serious either. I always knew better though, but I couldn't do anything about it. Once Hannah set her mind on something, there wasn't much that could stop her. I also didn't think it was my place to prevent her from doing what she wanted. She had my trust and I would only get involved when he hurt her and it was time for me to kick his ass.

Unfortunately, Hannah continued to give him multiple chances over the past few years, but this time when they broke up it was permanent because he left her for someone else. Graham apparently started talking to Katie Bell at the beginning of the year and decided to start dating her because she went to Syracuse University with him. Hannah was devastated and at the end of semester decided she needed to come back home, resulting in her transferring to Syracuse.

Part of me was worried that her reasons for coming back home for school had less to do with homesickness and more to do with being closer to him and possibly getting back together with him. I could understand that, since I almost transferred to Syracuse after Blaise and I broke up the last time. Luckily, I didn't, and it didn't even occur to me to transfer this time around. However, Hannah insisted that she wasn't transferring for him the one time I asked her about it and I dropped it after that, wisely deciding that my only job was to support her decision and encourage her to do whatever made her happy.

"Are you coming with us?" Hannah asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I considered going on her trip again. She had a point. I was tired of other people, including my parents, controlling my life. If I wanted to go, I should just go.

_Blaise wouldn't have wanted me to go, _a voice in the back of my head reminded me insistently.

_Well that settles it then._

"I call shotgun."

* * *

_I was sitting on the edge of a familiar bed with black, satin covers in a room with walls painted a dark emerald green. I smiled fondly at the man playing games on his computer at the desk near me before resuming a video on my phone._

_Crack!_

_I gasped and pulled my feet protectively under me glaring at my boyfriend._

_"BLAISE! You know I hate that!"_

_He grinned mischievously and tried to grab my feet again._

_"I know, but your reaction is so cute. Did it actually hurt?"_

_I wiggled my toes experimentally. They felt fine, despite him cracking them moments earlier._

_"Yes," I lied._

_"Liar," he said, getting up from his desk and advancing towards me._

_I stuck out my tongue at him and screamed when he suddenly picked me up and spun me around before falling back on the bed with me half on top of him. I tried to wriggle out of his arms, but eventually gave up, huffing in mild annoyance._

_"Don't ever let me leave you again princess," he said, brushing my hair out of my eyes and placing a soft kiss on my temple. "I need you more than you'll ever know."_

_"Hmm," I hummed, giving him a content smile as I relaxed in his arms and closed my eyes. "Never."_

_"I miss you so much."_

_I frowned in confusion. How could he miss me when I was right there?_

_"What? Why? I'm not going anywhere."_

_Blaise just smiled at me in response and leaned forward to kiss me._

I shot up out of bed right before his lips landed on mine. My heart was racing, and I had tunnel vision from sitting up too fast. I tried in vain to focus on my surroundings as I began to remember where I was and why.

Once everything hit me all over again, for what felt like the hundredth time, I curled into a tight ball and pulled my sister's bed sheets over my head. I didn't even know when I'd started sobbing.

_I'm fine. _You're not. _I don't need him. _No one else is ever going to love you. _That's not true!_ You blew it. _STOP IT!_

I covered my ears and tried to stop brain from reminding me of every single fear I had. Every time I thought I was okay, it felt like there was a little voice in my head telling me I wasn't. And every time I managed to finally convince myself that our breakup was for the best, my anxiety reminded me that I was all alone now. It was like I was constantly fighting with myself to be a somewhat normal person.

_Maybe I should text him?_ That's a good idea, you need him. If you apologize and promise things will be different this time, then you can get back together.

My fingers enclosed around my phone and slowly brought it closer to me. I was breathing heavily, and my tears were blurring the little LED screen that lit up at the push of a button. Fortunately, the digital clock at the corner of the screen stopped me from sending Blaise anything. It was five in the morning. Hannah would be at my house to pick me up for our little trip in around half an hour.

Once my breathing slowed, I managed to make my way to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. It helped a little bit, but not much.

The lack of sleep was starting to get to me. There were dark rings under my eyes and my bones felt weak, like they were struggling to hold me up.

_Ding!_

I glanced at my phone screen and saw a message from Hannah.

_I'm on my way!_

Typing out a quick acknowledgement, I rushed to finish getting ready, thankfully forgetting my dream for the time being.

* * *

"Hannah, you've lost your mind," I argued. "This is completely unnecessary!"

"I am helping you achieve spiritual enlightenment; how can you say that's unnecessary?"

"I can say that when it requires me waking up at five in the morning. And now you're saying I have to write a paper about my _feelings_?"

"_Yes_!" she insisted. "Haven't you ever kept a diary before?"

"No?" I lied.

I didn't tell anyone about my journal. It was filled with things that I wasn't willing to ever say out loud.

"That's why you feel like such a mess! It's good to catalogue your emotions."

"I don't feel like a mess!" I turned in my seat towards the brunette sitting in the back of the car. "Please, for the love of god, back me up here Cedric."

He let out a deep chuckle at our bickering and shook his head.

"You're on your own Hermione," he grinned. "I'm perfectly content to sit back here in the crap seat without Hannah's wrath directed towards me."

I shot him a glare before I continued to defend myself from Hannah's well-meaning attempts to improve my lifestyle.

"My life's perfectly fine, Hannah."

"Fine," she briefly relented, "you win for now. But let's talk about your romantic life."

"That sounds like hell."

"Maybe, but lucky for you I love you, so we'll go through it together," she said, briefly taking her eyes off of the road to smile at me.

"Fine," I leaned back in my seat and lowered my sunglasses from on top of my head. "Proceed."

"Well, first of all you need to not go for bad boys."

"I don't think I do that."

"Oh, please," Hannah rolled her eyes dismissively, "the only two guys you've ever given a chance are Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy."

"_I have never-"_

My tirade was almost immediately interrupted by Cedric.

"Okay," Cedric began, "I completely agree with that."

_"Excuse me?_"

"No, not that you liked Draco," Cedric reassured me. "But why do guys like Draco Malfoy get so much action? You know how many people he's had sex with? Girls practically throw themselves at him."

"He's hot," Hannah said. "Not to mention athletic, smart and funny. If he wasn't such a dick, he'd be the total package. Plus, I've heard he's like a sex god."

I wrinkled my nose distastefully.

"Could we please not talk about Malfoy or his bedside manner?"

"You know Lavender knows a lot about that?" Hannah asked, ignoring my disgust. "They hooked up during our seventh year."

I did know that piece of information. I'd actually heard it from Lavender herself almost a year ago and was trying to forget it ever since.

"_What_?" Cedric looked utterly shocked. "How far did they go?"

"Third base."

"Ew," he said, voicing my thoughts. "That's fucked up. Weren't he and Ron best friends back then?"

"That's where the dickishness comes in," I muttered.

"It was a couple of weeks after they broke up," Hannah said shrugging, "but yeah, it wasn't good."

"I fail to see how Lavender and Malfoy having no morals has anything to do with me or my love life."

"I'm just establishing your pattern of behavior," she claimed, directing her attention back towards me.

"Hannah, you dated Graham," Cedric intervened again before I could argue whether Malfoy had any relevance to my _pattern of behavior_. "It looks like both of you make the same mistakes when it comes to dating."

"Yes, but I've gone through my cleansing. And now it's time for Hermione's." She clapped in excitement after parking her car. "Anyway's this is the perfect time for all of us to find someone new. It's been months since any of us have had sex, which means we are all virgins again."

"That's not how virginity works," Cedric laughed.

"Yes, it is!" Hannah insisted. "It's been like five months since I've had sex! How long has it been for you Cedric?"

"Four, I think."

"Hermione?"

I tensed imperceptibly.

"Can we not talk about this anymore, Hannah?"

"Come on! We're all friends here! How long has it been since you and Blaise had sex?"

"Hannah," I warned. "Drop it."

"Just tell us, Hermione. Don't be such a prude."

"_Hannah, I said DROP IT_."

Realization suddenly dawned on her, causing her to let out a soft gasp of surprise.

"You mean, you've never-"

"Hannah," Cedric said quietly. "I think you need to stop."

"Right," she muttered, turning back to the road and avoiding looking at me. "Sorry."

The rest of the drive was thankfully silent as we all got lost in our own thoughts. Doing my best to ignore the feeling of Cedric's concerned gaze on the back of my head and the way Hannah kept glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes, I put my headphones into my ears and stared out the window.

I felt like a freak being examined at a zoo.

_I'm not a freak. _You're the reason this trip is uncomfortable now. _That's not true. _You should have just stayed home.

* * *

Hours later, I was lying on a park bench with my legs hanging over the armrest while I watched Hannah take thousands of pictures of all the flora and fauna. As much as I had teased her about the spiritual purpose behind this trip, she'd been right about how enjoyable it would be. Despite the earlier awkwardness, I felt relaxed and happy for the first time in weeks.

"Is there room for one more?" A voice asked from above me.

I glanced up to see Cedric leaning over me with a teasing grin gracing his face.

"For such a small person, you take up a lot of room on this bench."

"I like my space," I said, smiling back at him before sitting up and offering him the seat where my head had previously been.

We both sat in companionable silence for a little bit and listened to the birds chirping in the trees around us.

"How are you feeling?" he asked after a few minutes.

"I'm fine."

"Just fine?"

"Should I be feeling something else?"

He laughed and gently nudged my shoulder with his own.

"Not particularly. You're a great person though, so I was hoping you would feel a little better than fine."

"I bet you say that to everyone," I grinned.

"Not usually. You're a bit different. I always thought you were like a genius at Hogwarts. I was actually kind of intimidated by you."

"Intimidated?"

"Yeah," he turned in his seat and directed all his attention on me. "You were like an enigma. Smart, but not pushy about it, cute, but you didn't even care, and genuinely nice, but also willing to punch Pucey in the face, which was legendary by the way."

I grinned at that memory. Years later and it was still satisfying to think about.

"I was a know-it-all when I was younger," I said, choosing to ignore the rest of his analysis. "When we got older though, I didn't see the point in proving that I wasn't stupid to other people."

"That's a good outlook to have. I honestly don't think Zabini deserved you by the way."

"Yeah, I've been hearing that a lot lately."

"It's true though. Everyone respected you and knew how great you are. He doesn't realize how good he had it," Cedric insisted.

I briefly smiled at him and turned away, not wanting to think about Blaise longer than I had to and fighting the instinctive urge to defend him.

He gently pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and I stiffened at the unfamiliar contact.

"You deserve someone who knows how special you are."

I hesitated for a moment before forcing my body to relax. I was single, there was nothing wrong with another guy touching me.

_Just shut up and enjoy yourself for once, _I mentally reprimanded myself for thinking too much.

"Would you like to hang out sometime?"

It took me a second to realize those words came out of my mouth, not his.

_What are you doing?_!

I knew exactly what I was doing, I was trying to get over Blaise faster by being with someone else.

_Yes, Hermione. Because that's a great idea._

Regardless of whether or not it was a good idea, was Cedric really the best person to date? I knew very little about him.

_You know he's good friends with Hannah. And that he's sweet and nice to everyone. That's already better than Blaise by default._

He also goes to Colorado for college and I couldn't even maintain a relationship with someone who was four hours away from me.

_Yes, but who says this needs to last beyond the summer_?

A valid point. I didn't need to be in love with the next person I dated. What was wrong with a temporary fling?

"Hermione? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?" was my intelligent response.

"I said, I'd love to," he laughed at my confusion.

"Oh, right."

"We can plan it after we get home?"

"Yeah, that works for me," I said, managing a smile.

"I'm looking forward to it," he said taking my hand in his and squeezing it before getting off the bench and making his way toward Hannah, who was now following a little pigeon and taking hundreds of pictures of it.

I watched the tall, lean man walk away from me for another second before I resumed my earlier horizontal position on the bench, closing my eyes and relaxing in the summer heat. It felt like I was surrounded by a warm blanket because of the sunlight shining on me. It wasn't too hot or too cold, it was perfect. For the first time in a very long time, I felt optimistic for the future.

* * *

Unfortunately, when Hannah finally dropped me off at home that night, I was feeling tense again. All I could think about was how Blaise reacted the last time he found out that I was moving on with someone else.

Maybe you should cancel on Cedric_._ _There's no reason to._ Blaise will get mad. _Well, fuck him. _He can tell everyone about all of your secrets. He would do it. It's what he did last time.

The fear that came with the possibility of everyone from Hogwarts knowing intimate details about me was all it took to convince me that I should talk to Blaise at least.

_This way he can just get mad at me and not find out through anyone else,_ I reasoned.

I quickly typed out a simple text message to send to him.

_Hey! I know it hasn't been long since we broke up, but we dated for three years and broke up once already. I kind of feel like we've been through this many times before, so I just want to move on with my life. But I wanted you to hear it from me that I'm going on a date with someone soon. It's not anyone your friends with, but I didn't want you to hear it from someone else. I hope you can be happy for me and that you know this has nothing to do with you. It's more about me moving on than anything else, and I think it's about time I did. I'm going to go to bed now, but we can talk tomorrow or some other time if you want to!_

I read over it one more time before sending it. The text seemed simple enough. I thought it was fairly straightforward and polite. Odds were that he wouldn't care anyway, judging from how he acted during our breakup. Feeling marginally better, I curled up in bed and thought some more about Cedric and all the possibilities that were available to me for the summer now that I was single.

* * *

_Ring, Ring._

I slowly opened my eyes, rubbing them as I was woken up by a noise that I could have sworn was coming from hell. Once I regained enough of my sense to realize that the aggressive ringing was actually coming from my phone, I groaned and answered the phone call without checking the Caller ID.

"Hello?" I said stifling a yawn.

_"Who is it?"_ a voice demanded.

I blinked in confusion.

_Didn't this person call me?_

Finally, I checked the Caller ID and felt my heart drop. It was Blaise. He'd called me 28 times before I finally picked up.

"It's Hermione," I said cautiously. "You called me?"

_"Not that. You know what I'm asking. Who are you going on a date with?"_

My heart was beating way too fast and I could feel the familiar stinging sensation behind my eyelids that signaled tears. His voice was so achingly familiar. Even though he was angry, listening to him immediately brought back so many fond memories that I'd been struggling to suppress.

I took some deep, calming breaths before opening my mouth again.

"Why does it matter? Also, it's five in the morning in case you didn't notice."

_"Just tell me who it is."_

The tears were falling now and I felt like I was choking on guilt. I didn't know why I felt so guilty. We were broken up. He did this, not me.

"It's not one of your friends or anything-" I began, trying to keep my voice even.

"_Yeah, I believed it when you said that," _he snapped. _"I just need to know who it is."_

"Why?"

_"I DON'T KNOW HERMIONE! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME?"_

"IF YOU CAN GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD THEN I WILL!" I shouted back while the tears streamed down my face.

"_Why can't you just do this one thing for me?!"_

"BECAUSE I DON'T OWE YOU A GODDAMN THING!" I screamed before ending the call and throwing my phone at the wall across from the bed.

My breaths were shallow, and I could feel a panic attack beginning to overwhelm me. I faintly heard the phone repeatedly ringing from the corner of the room as Blaise continued to try calling me back. My vision was blurring, and I didn't know if it was because of the tears, my anger, or my splitting headache.

After a few minutes, I finally got up from the bed and walked over to the now cracked, but still functioning, phone. Declining the call, I quickly blocked him before he could call me again and deleted his number.

Sobs were wracking my body and I couldn't figure out why any of this was happening.

_HE broke up with ME. Why did he call to fucking interrogate me over my date?_

The scariest thing was that part of me hoped it was because he still loved me.

* * *

A few days later, I met with Cedric. I could already tell my heart wasn't in it. Neither was any other part of me.

"Hermione?"

"Hm?"

"I said you look cute today," Cedric smiled at me.

I looked down at the plain, white t-shirt and shorts that I was wearing, feeling a twinge of annoyance at being referred to as cute.

"Oh, thanks," I offered him a weak smile before turning back to the previews playing in the movie theater we were currently at.

He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a red t-shirt that advertised some kind of car company. It looked like neither of us really dressed for the occasion.

What if you see Blaise? _There's no reason I would see him here right now._ But what if you do?

I felt my nails biting into the palms of my hands as I curled them into tight fists in an attempt to get myself under control.

_Get it together Hermione,_ I told myself. _Cedric's a nice guy and there's no reason that what happened with Blaise should ruin this._

The lights dimmed and I settled into my chair, planning to try and get through this movie with some of my sanity intact. Cedric obviously had other plans though. It didn't take him long to lean in close and gently kiss me.

I felt absolutely nothing but continued to let him kiss me anyway.

_Maybe if I just keep kissing him, then I'll stop thinking about Blaise._

His hand slid up my leg, and when I didn't protest, his other hand quickly found its way under my shirt and aggressively palmed my breast over my bra. The one on my leg then took that opportunity to grab my hand and place it on the bulge in his pants before he forcefully shoved his hand under the leg of my shorts.

I immediately froze, not knowing what to do. I was used to being the one who determined whether or not things went this far. I'd only been with Blaise and another random guy from NYU in the past. Both of them had let me decide what we did and when, but suddenly I felt like I didn't have any control. I'd never felt so weak.

_I don't want this._ You need to do this because you need to get over Blaise. _BUT I DON'T WANT THIS._

Thankfully, Cedric loosened his grip on the various parts of my body and pecked my lips. Then he moved away from me and winked.

"The movie's about to start and there's a lot of people here. Maybe we can continue this later?"

"Okay," I managed, trying to hide my uneven breathing.

Cedric mistook my heavy breathing as arousal and grinned.

My mouth suddenly felt too dry and my head was pounding. Cedric took my hand in his and rubbed it with his thumb gently. Slowly I felt my heart rate slow down until it felt like I could take breaths without gasping anymore.

_I'll just let him know I'd rather go a little slower next time_, I thought to myself. _There's no way Cedric would ever purposefully hurt me. This is the kind of guy Hannah says I should go for. Not people like Blaise._

I took a deep breath and returned Cedric's smile.

_Nothing's going to go wrong._

* * *

After the movie, which I don't think either of us paid much attention to for completely different reasons, both of us got into the car. Cedric turned it on and drove towards my house, but before we got to my neighborhood, he turned into an empty parking lot.

"Do you want to get into the backseat?" he grinned.

I hesitated, remembering what happened in the theater.

_Not really. _Stop being such a fucking prude. Think of what people will say if you tell him no. And what if you hurt his feelings? _I guess we can just make out for a little bit. Nothing bad will happen from that._

"Okay," I finally muttered, not sure of what else to say.

_It won't be like at the movie theater. I'm a strong woman and I'll just fucking tell him to stop if I want him to._

We moved into the back seat and Cedric immediately started kissing me again. Positioning himself over me in the back seat so that I was underneath him, his hand slid underneath my shirt again.

_This is okay. I don't want it to go any farther and I could think of other things I could be doing, but I guess this is okay._

Then his hands moved to unbutton my shorts.

"Um, I don't-" I tried.

I couldn't really say I knew what the fuck I was doing anymore, but I definitely knew I didn't want him to take off my shorts.

"Understandable," he said, holding up his hands as if he was surrendering.

Then he immediately went back to kissing me and massaging my breast. I winced at the feeling of his weight on me. He was heavier than I thought, and it felt like he was crushing me.

After a couple of minutes, Cedric lifted himself off of me a little and I took a deep gulp of air, briefly enjoying the sensation of being able to breathe again. My eyes widened though when Cedric moved towards my shorts again.

"I-"

Before I could finish, Cedric impatiently interrupted me.

"We're not gonna fuck."

The next thing I knew my shorts were off and he lifted me onto his lap.

"You're so cute," he murmured between gasps against my neck as he moved my hips against his.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't feel like I could just say no anymore. I mutely let him kiss me and halfheartedly tried to respond to his rough touch.

_Is this what it's supposed to be like? Don't people usually ask before going this far?_

I felt like I wasn't really paying attention at that point. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be sitting in Cedric's lap in my underwear in the middle of an abandoned parking lot, listening to his hot, wet breathing against my ear as he basically tried to fuck me through my underwear.

I don't know when I gave up, but sitting there in his car, I felt like the last of my willpower was gone and I just let him do whatever he wanted to me. I kept glancing at the time, wondering when I could leave, when suddenly it felt like my sense along with my voice returned.

_If I don't want to be here, I don't have to be.__ Do I?_

"Could you take me home?" I whispered, feeling unsure of myself.

I felt Cedric freeze underneath me. Truth be told, I was surprised he'd even heard my voice over the sound of his own gasps and moans.

"Oh," Cedric sounded shocked as if he wasn't used to girls stopping him. "I mean, yeah. Sure, I'll take you home."

A familiar feeling surrounded me at that moment. It was the same one that I experienced when Hannah asked me when I had sex with Blaise. The same one I felt when it seemed like all of my _friends_ were talking about how far I'd gone with Blaise after Lavender started her rumors.

As I got older, I was growing used to feeling this way when I least expected it. It was the feeling that I was a freak.

I silently got dressed and moved to the front seat. He followed me and turned on the car. Neither of us talked on the way home and right before he dropped me off, Cedric finally decided to speak.

"Hey, did I do something wrong?" he asked, nervously.

"No," I lied, giving him a small smile. "It's just me. I'm going through some stuff and I guess I just wasn't as ready as I thought I was."

I felt guilty for stopping him like that. I knew there wasn't anything malicious about what Cedric did. He was just a horny teenage boy, but I still felt weak and scared for some reason.

"Oh, ok," he said awkwardly. "I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Once I got into my house, I ran up the stairs avoiding my parents and fell onto my sister's bed. I didn't know when I started crying, but once I did I couldn't stop.

I wanted Blaise. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was okay and that I was safe. I wanted him to make me forget how it felt when Cedric touched me. I wanted to forget his breaths in my ear and his hands on my skin. I wanted to stop feeling so scared and alone.

I continued to shake with sobs until I finally fell asleep.

* * *

Draco closed the book and grabbed his jacket from his desk. He needed to go to her. He didn't know what to say or why he had to be with her right then, but after reading all of that, Draco knew he needed to see her. Or he needed to punch Cedric in the face. Luckily for Diggory, she mattered a lot more and was much easier to get to.

"_THEO!"_ Draco shouted as he exited his room.

The boy dozing on the couch woke up with a start.

"_WHAT?"_

"We need to go," Draco informed him. "Grab your jacket."

"Can't you see I'm sleeping?"

"Unfortunate."

The taller blonde grabbed his friend's jacket and car keys, throwing them both onto Theo's lap and leaving no room for him to argue.

"We have somewhere to be."

* * *

**Hope you liked the chapter! The next one will be out pretty soon (hopefully within the next couple of days). Remember to review and favorite/follow to let me know what you think!**


	14. Author's Note

So I've received some strongly worded reviews that I've copied another story or re-uploaded this story from some guests. I'm not going to post them because that's not really the kind of attitude I want to spread with my story. This story is mainly based off of my own experiences, so I would be really impressed if there is another story like mine out there. However, I guess people can have the same experiences? My story is based off of me though, so I guarantee it is original. If there is a story like mine out there, please let me know where I can find it instead of saying a bunch of rude, hurtful comments about how I stole someone else's story so that I can actually see if our stories are similar. This is also the first, and only, website that I posted any of this on and I did it because I wanted to practice some writing. While I love the support and feedback I've been getting, I didn't post it for attention. That being said, I can't really prove any of this because I don't want to give my personal information over the internet, but if you would just DM me the name of the story so that I can look into it, I would appreciate it!


	15. Chapter 14

**Hello! Sorry for not updating in so long! My Thanksgiving break ended sooner than I thought it would due to a family emergency and then I got busy with final exams. Here's the next chapter though! I should be able to upload more consistently for the next month. Thank you for reading this story and your patience! I promise this story will be finished. Also I'm sorry for any typos or other mistakes made in this chapter, I wanted to upload it kind of fast since I haven't in so long.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any part of this story that has to do with Harry Potter. Just the plot and any extra characters.**

* * *

"Remind me again why we're at Hermione's apartment?"

"I need to talk to her, and I didn't know which room she lives in," Draco replied, knocking on the old, chipped door that was painted a hideously bright orange.

"I could've just told you," Theo grumbled.

Before Draco could respond, the door swung open to reveal a tiny, pale girl with long blonde hair.

"Theo? Draco?" Luna asked, not bothering to mask her confusion at seeing the two of them at her apartment. "What are you guys doing here?"

"Hi Luna," Draco smiled nonchalantly. "Is Hermione here?"

Luna was still blinking in surprise. She had every right to be shocked considering the fact that the last time she saw Draco was probably at their graduation more than a year ago. Now he was at her door asking if he could speak to Hermione, as if there was nothing odd about this situation at all.

"She's not here," Luna said slowly. "Hermione's at an auction thing that we're volunteering for today. It's to raise money for the animal shelter. I was just about to take the bus and join her."

"Oh, well that's too bad," Theo said, smirking at Draco. "I guess we'll just get out of your-"

"We'll join you," Draco interrupted.

_"Excuse me?"_

"You don't have to do that," Luna said hastily.

It was then that Draco noticed the slight blush on her cheeks and the way she kept glancing at Theo.

"It's not a problem," Draco said, grinning brightly and elbowing the other boy in the ribs to get him to shut up. "Theo needs more volunteer experience anyway."

Theo muttered something about how what he needed was to get more sleep, but thankfully stayed silent otherwise.

"Okay, I guess? Just let me grab my purse. You can come in if you want to?"

"We would love to," Draco said, pushing a disgruntled Theo into the apartment before entering himself.

Luna disappeared into a small bedroom to get her purse, leaving the two of them in what looked like the living room. A quick glance around the apartment revealed to Draco that it was a one-bedroom with a loft. Because of the loft's placement above the kitchen, the apartment had a vaulted ceiling, making it appear much bigger than it actually was.

"What are you _doing_?" He hissed at Draco. "This is borderline stalking, Draco."

"It's not that bad," Draco said, rolling his eyes. "We're just going to go volunteer with them."

"I want to go back to bed."

"It'll be good for you."

"I'm going to kill you."

"So, Luna," Draco smoothly changed the subject before Theo could continue his tantrum. "How do you, Padma and Hermione all live here together? Isn't it kind of small?"

"Padma and I share this room, while Hermione lives upstairs in the loft."

Luna came out of the bedroom with her purse and a pair of boots for her to wear.

"There's a dress code at the auction for volunteers," she said, frowning at their clothes. "Draco's fine, but I think Theo is a little too casual."

Draco looked down at his clothes. He was wearing a black sweater with a pair of black, fitted jeans along with his black coat that Hermione was wearing yesterday in the rain. Then he looked at Theo, who had on a pair of black jeans, similar to Draco's, but was wearing a purple NYU long-sleeved shirt.

"Here," Draco took off his coat and threw it at the other boy, "wear this."

He looked at the piece of clothing in shock before returning his attention to Draco.

"You never let anyone touch your clothes."

"Consider it a thank you."

Theo groaned and slipped on the coat before buttoning it closed.

"If you want this that badly, then fine let's go."

"What are you two talking about?" Luna asked suspiciously.

"Nothing," Draco said, ushering both of them out the door. "Theo can drive, and you can give him directions."

* * *

Almost a half an hour later, the three of them arrived at a large, upscale building just outside of the city. Before they even walked in, Draco could tell there were hundreds of well-groomed dogs inside with their owners.

"Dear god," Theo gasped, "I've never seen so many pets in one place."

When they entered the building, it was immediately apparent how sophisticated this event was supposed to be. The pristine, white ceilings were vaulted and gilded with gold. In the center of the room, there was a giant, gold chandelier that illuminated the intricate dog houses and booths available for the attendees to peruse.

_I didn't expect this to be such a big deal,_ Draco mused as he took in his busy surroundings.

"Hello!" a little old lady, with short, silver hair and a copious amount of green eyeshadow greeted them when they walked in. "Can I help you?"

"We're here to volunteer," Luna said politely, "we're with Hermione Granger. She should already be here."

"Oh yes," she chirped, clapping her hands together excitedly, "Hermione is such a dear. Now I need two of you to walk around the doghouses being auctioned off today and answer any questions about the event while one of you comes with me to help Hermione at the merchandise table."

"I'll come with you," Draco offered quickly before Luna could.

"Excellent," she beamed, clapping her hands again. "Follow me!"

Draco turned to follow the strangely perky woman, but stopped when Theo grabbed his arm and halted his progress.

"You owe me for this," he said.

"Yeah, yeah," Draco grinned at him, "you better get going. Lovegood looks like she's going to ditch you in a couple of seconds."

_"OH MY GOD, LOOK AT THAT LITTLE CHIHUAHA!"_ Luna squealed before running off towards an intricate doghouse that was shaped like the Empire State Building and contained a small, timid dog inside of it.

"_LOVEGOOD! _Wait for me!" Theo shouted after her, not wanting to lose the small girl in the crowd.

With one final glare, Theo left Draco, allowing him to follow the woman, who informed him that her name was Sandy. The two of them weaved through the people and dogs until they finally arrived at a group of tables containing various items such as shirts advertising the event, for both dogs and people, stuffed animals, picture frames and posters.

Behind one of the tables was the girl that Draco had been waiting to see all day. Hermione was wearing a pair of leggings underneath a skirt, paired with a long-sleeved blouse, a scarf and some high heels. Her entire outfit, except for her white blouse, was black.

Draco's mouth felt dry when he saw her. She looked professional and was bustling around, humming along to a Beatles song that was playing quietly over the speakers nearby as she organized the merchandise on the tables. A tiny brown and white puppy was following at her heels, tripping over its own ears due to its eagerness. In the corner, an extremely large, black and white husky was sleeping comfortably. Draco could tell with a glance that it was very strong and sleek. It was both beautiful and terrifying.

Even with the presence of the dog that looked like it could eat her if it wanted to, Hermione looked content. It was a shocking contrast to the girl he read about. When he went through her journal, Draco felt a mix of overwhelmingly powerful emotions. He felt concern for Hermione and hatred for Cedric and Blaise. He didn't really give a fuck whether or not it was a misunderstanding. All that mattered was that they hurt her. But now, seeing her smiling brightly at the puppy following her around, all of his previous feelings were replaced by the desire to kiss her. He didn't care that they were in public, or that their friends could potentially see them. Right then, he just wanted to hold her and convince himself that she was okay. Despite everything Hermione wrote in her journal, she was still okay.

* * *

I held one of the little stuffed dogs in my hand and frowned slightly. Blaise used to buy me stuffed animals all the time. The memories made me sad, but I didn't feel destroyed by them like I used to. It surprised me, considering how in love with him I'd been. Regardless, another man occupied most of my thoughts recently.

A small, smile graced my face as I remembered waking up in his bed this morning with him still tightly gripping my hand. He'd been slouching in his desk chair, with his legs resting on the bed. There was no way that position could be comfortable, yet he stayed there all night for me.

"Hey beautiful," a deep voice said as an arm wrapped around my waist, spinning me around.

I was shocked to see the man I'd been thinking about now standing in front of me, looking completely out of place among all of the pet paraphernalia.

"What are you doing here Malfoy?" I snapped, smacking his arm so that he would let go of me.

"I wanted to see you," he shrugged and held me tighter instead.

"Oh Hermione!" Sandy beamed. "You didn't tell me you have a boyfriend. He's so handsome!"

"_He is not-_"

"I'm not her boyfriend," Draco said, keeping his arm around me and not bothering to move away even while he refuted her claim.

I fell quiet at the strangely intense look in his eyes as he searched my face for something. He seemed worried and relieved at the same time.

_What is he looking for?_

"Well, that's a shame," Sandy said, completely ignoring the tension and proximity between the two of us. "But he can still help volunteer! Do me a favor and show him the ropes Hermione. I need to go talk to our sponsors, but if you need anything you have my number! Also, please remember to take Cookie and Charlie outside later on."

I finally managed to detach myself from Draco and took a few steps away, giving him an irritated glare before turning to Sandy.

"Of course! I already have an alarm set in my phone."

With a final wave, Sandy left the two of us alone. I heard a loud whine at my feet and looked down to find Charlie, a small cocker spaniel puppy, staring up at me with wide eyes.

"Fine," I sighed, picking the dog up and placing him onto the table next to me. "You can be up here as long as you don't fall off or run around."

I gently tapped his nose to emphasize my point and smiled when he licked my hand in response and wagged his tail. My smile quickly fell from my face when I remembered there was a nuisance I had to deal with. Turning around, I found him still staring at me with that same mix of concern and relief. It made me uneasy. It was almost as if he knew something I didn't.

"What are you looking at?" I finally snapped when he didn't look away.

"You."

"Well, stop it."

"Why?"

"I don't like it," I hissed, going back to organizing the table behind me.

"Why Granger, I never knew I could get you so hot and bothered," he smirked. "And all it took was a simple look."

I gasped indignantly and spun around, fully intending to throw the stuffed animal in my hand at his head and then berate him, only to find him inches away from me. My retort died on my lips as he fixed me with that intense stare again and gently brushed my hair behind my ear, letting his hand trail down the side of my face.

_Don't let him win this. Shove him away or at least say something._

"Um, hi."

_Brilliant Hermione._

Draco chuckled and gave me a grin that made my heart skip a beat.

"Hey," he murmured back before closing his eyes and leaning forward to kiss me.

* * *

Draco leaned in, feeling all of the muscles in his body relax at the thought of kissing Hermione. Before his lips could connect with hers, however, a long wet tongue dragged across his face.

He immediately jumped away from her in horror, spluttering and wiping his face on his sleeve. Hermione, on the other hand, was bent over laughing with the puppy wagging its tail happily in her hands.

"That was not funny Granger."

"It was _pretty_ funny," she said, still fighting back giggles while she set the puppy on the ground. "You can't just go around kissing people Malfoy."

"Well, maybe I could if you weren't such an annoying-"

Draco's rant was broken off by the sound of a low growl coming from the corner. He blanched and glanced over at the huge husky to see that it was now awake and staring directly at him. Its eyes were bright blue and strangely human-like.

"Granger," Draco whispered quietly, slowly moving towards her until she was between him and the beast in the corner. "That thing wants to kill me."

Hermione frowned and looked around quickly before her gaze landed on the large dog. She rolled her eyes.

"No, _she_ doesn't Malfoy. Cookie is just a dog."

"You're telling me that monster's name is _Cookie_?"

"Yes," Hermione shrugged before continuing in a matter-of-fact tone. "She looks like a Cookie. She's Sandy's dog and I just take care of her sometimes during events like this."

Hermione was cut off by a snarl coming from the corner and Cookie raising her giant head to glare menacingly at Draco.

"_Granger_, it wants to _kill_ me."

Hermione just sighed and walked over to the beast, whose head was almost twice as large as hers, and scratched underneath her chin as if she was petting the much smaller dog that trailed after her.

The dog whined softly, nuzzling Hermione's shoulder and almost knocking her over as a result.

"I know Cookie," Hermione consoled lovingly, "I don't like him much either."

_"Hey!_"

"Unfortunately," she continued as if Draco hadn't even spoken, "we live in a society where we can't just go around murdering the people that annoy us."

The large dog nodded along to her words as if it understood her and then gently licked her hand before standing up. When Hermione was crouched like she was, Cookie towered over her easily. Draco took an unsure step towards the dog, planning to intervene somehow if he needed to, but the dog just stretched lazily and sat back down, beginning to groom itself almost like a cat.

Hermione straightened up from her crouched position and turned towards Draco, raising an eyebrow.

"Satisfied?"

"Immensely."

"Good. Then start working. The prices are on the merchandise. Just show people whatever they want to buy and then take the money and put it in that box," Hermione gestured at a metal container that was on top of a plain, white table in the corner of the room next to two chairs. "Any questions?"

"Well-"

"Any _serious_ questions?"

Draco smirked at how well she knew him.

"No."

The next couple of hours passed with the two of them being too busy helping customers to talk to each other. Normally, Draco probably would have been annoyed at the idea of having to spend an entire day with nothing to do besides work, but just being near Hermione was relaxing him. It was also more than entertaining to see her stammer and lose her train of thought when talking to someone every time he "accidentally" brushed past her.

Draco also slowly grew more comfortable with Charlie and Cookie, even bending over to pet the excitable puppy sometimes. Cookie, on the other hand, made it quite clear that she would not let Draco near her anytime soon. She spent most of the time sleeping or sitting next to Hermione.

Eventually, the crowd started to thin as the auction for the doghouses began. As a result, Draco found himself sitting with Hermione at the table in the corner with nothing to do.

"Granger."

Draco was met with silence as she did her best to ignore him, scratching Charlie, who was curled up in her lap, behind his ear.

"_Granger_."

More silence.

_"GRANGER!"_

"_WHAT MALFOY_?"

"I'm bored."

If looks could kill, Draco would have died a million times. Hermione groaned and put the small puppy on the floor, letting it run towards Cookie and climb all over her as she slept.

"What exactly do you want me to do about that?" Hermione asked exasperatedly.

"Let's play a game."

"What game?"

"We each get to ask the other person twenty questions and five passes for when we don't want to answer. You can ask anything you want, but you have to be truthful with your answers."

"That's more like a survey than a game Malfoy," she argued.

"What's the matter? Scared? Maybe you're nervous I'll find out something you don't want me to know? Such as, I don't know, how much you want me?"

She clenched her jaw angrily.

"You're a little shit, you know that?"

"Yet, here you are spending your day with me."

"Not by choice."

"Are you going to play or not?" Draco grinned, already knowing she wouldn't back down from his challenge.

"Fine, Malfoy."

"Alright, I'll ask first. Don't even think about lying Granger. I'll know if you do."

"Yeah, yeah," she said, waving her hand dismissively.

"What's your favorite color?"

"How original."

"Just answer it, Granger."

"Blue."

"What kind of blue?"

"That's two questions."

He rolled his eyes at her stubbornness.

"Fine, Granger. Ask your damn question then," he sighed.

"Why are you here?"

She was getting straight to the point.

"To spend the day in your delightful company," Draco quipped, grinning at her scowl.

If Hermione wanted to be direct and not waste her time asking mundane questions, Draco may as well take her lead.

"What happened between you and Zabini?"

"We broke up."

"I'm going to need more than that Granger."

"You didn't specify."

Draco gritted his teeth. She was surprisingly good at dodging his questions.

"Why did you hook up with Lavender?"

Draco hesitated and wondered if he should bother answering her. If she knew why, she may judge him forever and never want to see him again. But if he used one of his passes, odds were that she wouldn't open up to him as much as he wanted her to.

When it came down to it, Draco knew she was his best chance to get it off of his chest without being immediately condemned for his actions. If anyone was going to know this about him, it may as well be her.

"I got rejected from Harvard. It was all I thought about since our fifth year at Hogwarts. I was obsessed with going there because I wanted to prove to my family that I didn't need them, so when I didn't get in, it felt like I wasted the past two years of my life. My family was disappointed in me, which wasn't really anything new, and I lost a lot of people that I cared about," he paused for a second and met her steady gaze, hoping that she knew she was one of those people.

"Anyways," he continued, adopting a lighter, uncaring tone and turning away from her, "the night I got my rejection letter and realized that things weren't turning out the way I planned, I went to a party at Theo's house and drank more than normal. The next morning, I woke up in Lavender's bed. I don't remember most of it, just bits and pieces."

Hermione was still watching him and when Draco looked into her eyes, he was surprise to see that there was no trace of the expected disgust and judgement. Instead there was slight concern and curiosity.

"You're better than that," she said thoughtfully. "It was just a mistake. We all fuck up. I know I'm supposed to be mad at you for hooking up with one of my best friend's ex, but what's the point? We've all been through shit and sometimes we don't handle it well. It's not like you did it wanting to hurt Ron. It was just a mistake."

The relief that coursed through Draco's body knowing that she didn't hate him for what he did was indescribable. So many people dismissed him for what he'd done and, judging from what she wrote in her journal, he assumed she would be one of them. But all she needed was an explanation and for him to acknowledge that it happened. This was the first time he ever directly admitted what he did. Apparently that was enough for her to think he was different from how others viewed him.

He wondered what Hermione would say if she knew that he went to Theo's house that night mainly because he realized he lost her for nothing.

"Why did you and Zabini break up?" Draco said, choosing to continue their game instead of lingering on his thoughts and old feelings.

_It's ancient history. I don't feel that way about her anymore_.

Hermione frowned and for a minute Draco thought she wouldn't answer him. There was brief pain and confusion in her eyes as she most likely recalled their breakup.

"He stopped loving me," she muttered, tucking her hair behind her ear and drumming on the desk in front of her.

It was a habit she picked up while they were at Hogwarts sometime during their fifth year. She always did it whenever she was stressed about something. It used to drive him crazy when they were younger, but now it was what told him to drop the topic. She wasn't ready to tell him more about that answer, so he would wait until she was.

"Your turn," he said, nudging her leg gently with his own.

She hummed in acknowledgement but didn't give any other indication she heard him.

"Have you ever been in love?" she finally asked, still drumming softly on the table and lost in her thoughts.

Draco considered his answer. His longest relationship was with Pansy. Did he ever love her? Did he ever feel the kind of selfless love that Hermione seemed to feel towards Blaise when they were at Hogwarts?

Even now, Draco could easily recall how Hermione's eyes seemed to light up every time Blaise entered the room. She was unbelievably patient and understanding with that idiot, and he never knew how lucky he was to have that radiant smile directed at only him. It filled him with jealousy when they were younger because no one had ever looked at him like that.

"Malfoy?"

It only came down to one thing. No one had ever loved him, so he never bothered to love someone else.

"No," Draco finally answered.

She kept her inquisitive eyes on him, but wisely chose to remain silent and stopped rapping her fingers against the table.

"Do you regret being with Zabini?"

"No, I don't," she said. "I wanted to, but I couldn't. I love him, despite everything. Not in the same way I used to, but he still means a lot to me. I don't think I could really regret loving someone, though I know I've definitely said I do."

She paused as if she was going to say more but then seemed to change her mind.

"What's your biggest fear?"

No matter how hard Draco thought for an answer, he was coming up blank. Nothing really scared him.

"I'm not really afraid of anything Granger," he said.

"Everyone's afraid of something," she said, narrowing her eyes suspiciously.

_She probably thinks I'm lying._

Draco just shrugged in response.

"Then maybe I just haven't come across it yet."

She frowned slightly to herself and seemed to get lost in her thoughts again.

"What happened between you and Cedric?" Draco asked.

That almost immediately snapped her out of it. The surprise and confusion were written all over Hermione's face.

"What have you heard?"

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Pass then."

Draco hoped she wouldn't ask about how he knew about her and Cedric. He would have to tell her the truth. Even though he was known to be a gifted liar, Draco didn't think he could mislead Hermione. Her eyes always seemed to draw the truth out of him.

After a few more moments of deliberation, she apparently decided that she would rather not know how Draco knew anything.

"Are you afraid of heights?" she asked instead.

"No, Granger."

"I'll figure it out,"

"That would worry me, if there was anything to figure out."

She just mumbled something under her breath about Malfoys being too cocky for their own good and motioned for him to continue.

"What happened between you and Dean?"

"You heard what happened," she bit out through clenched teeth.

"I'd like more detail."

"Pass. Are you afraid of deep water?"

"Granger, for the last time, I'm not afraid of anything."

Hermione was getting increasingly frustrated with Draco's questions and her lack of progress. She opened her mouth, most likely to begin a tirade about his nosiness and his refusal to admit that he was afraid of anything, but was interrupted by a tall, raven haired man.

"Hermione, what are you doing? Who is this?"

Draco turned his amused gaze away from the frazzled girl and faced the man that just approached them. In terms of appearance, Draco was not shy to acknowledge that he considered himself quite handsome. His looks alone attracted many appreciative glances from others on a daily basis. Once they learned who he actually was, the Malfoy name only increased his appeal.

The man that walked in was equally attractive, but in a completely different way. He had dark, jet-black hair that had a windswept style and equally dark eyes. Those eyes looked almost black to Draco, who found that, for the first time in his life, he felt slightly intimidated. His features were chiseled, displaying a relatively cold mask of indifference, and he exuded a kind of arrogance that took Draco by surprise.

_Normally, I'm the most egotistical person in the room_, Draco thought to himself as he took in the other man's expensive, tailored clothing and prominent sneer that was directed towards him. _There's something familiar about him._

"This is Draco," Hermione said tersely. "He's from my school and he's helping out today."

Her voice was strangely cold. Draco never heard her address anyone like that. Well, except for him, Marcus, and Adrian during their fifth year.

"This isn't free time to be socializing Hermione. This is when you're supposed to be _working_. That should be a familiar concept for someone like you," he said, ignoring Draco completely.

She bristled with barely restrained rage.

"I _am_ working you asshole."

"Is that anyway to talk to your senior?"

"Depends. Have you finally done something to earn any of my respect?"

Her snarky response was only met with another spiteful sneer.

"As if I would ever need respect from someone like you," he said in a low, silky voice that sent chills down Draco's spine.

He walked closer to Hermione, placing a finger under her chin to tilt her head up and look into her eyes.

"All I need is for you to know your place."

Feeling uncomfortable and uncharacteristically protective, Draco instinctively wrapped an arm around Hermione's waist and pulled her closer to him, dislodging the finger on her chin as a result. The man's eyes finally left Hermione's to take in the position of Draco's arm around her. Draco saw a brief flash of some kind of emotion in his eyes before they resumed their earlier cold and empty appearance.

"I hope you go to hell," she spat venomously.

He smiled at that before turning to leave.

"I know you do."

Then, just as quickly as he appeared, he was gone, disappearing into the crowd.

Hermione's breathing was uneven and her hands were gripping the edge of the table hard enough to turn her knuckles white. Draco was quiet, rubbing her back in between her shoulders and hoping that she would soon return to normal.

After a significant period of time, Hermione seemed to relax, rubbing her temples and sighing.

"Who _was _that?" Draco asked.

"Is that one of your questions?"

"If that's the only way I'm going to get an answer."

She let out another sigh and began to respond.

"His name is Tom. He goes to Columbia and for some reason shows up at these events, as if he actually cares about another living thing. You've probably seen him before since he was a year ahead of us at Hogwarts. He was actually my neighbor for a long time until he moved during his sixth year to go to Durmstrang.

"We were really close growing up. In fact, I spent practically every day playing with him when he got home from school. He teased me all the time, but he was also really protective and always made sure I was okay whenever we played with the other kids because they were all bigger and older than me," she paused and laughed derisively at herself. "I sort of had a childish crush on him. But then, when I started attending Hogwarts, everything between us changed. I remember seeing him on my first day of school. He was laughing with a bunch of his friends and when I came up to him to say hi, he just looked at me like I was nothing and asked who I was. When we got home, he tried to talk to me and explain to me that we couldn't be seen together at school because he wasn't supposed to spend time with _people li__ke me_."

Hermione turned to Draco and gave an inelegant snort.

"Sound familiar?"

It did. Luckily for him, she continued without waiting for a response.

"I told him that I didn't want to be a friend that he had to hide, so we couldn't be friends at all then. After that, he did his best to taunt me any time he saw me at school. He would knock my stuff out of my hands, claiming it was an accident. He would insult me, along with my friends for associating with me, and then say it was just good-natured banter. There's even a scar on my hand from where he stabbed me with a pencil."

Draco took her small hand into his, tracing the mark in the center of the back of her hand. He'd never known about any of this.

"He just pretended that it never even happened and that I probably made it up," she said quietly, watching Draco's rising anguish with a confused expression.

"You never told me," Draco managed through clenched teeth.

He wasn't mad at her. He was mad at himself for not noticing any of it. For being too focused on his own problems to protect her from people like that. People like Tom, Pansy and Adrian.

"I don't need you to protect me Malfoy," she said, as if she read his thoughts. "I only needed you to be my friend. And anyways, I figured out that it was better to avoid him pretty fast. By the time you and I met, I stopped seeing him at all."

"I'm sorry," was all he said, raising her hand to his lips and placing a chaste kiss on the scar.

When he turned back towards her again, he was surprised to see the tender look in her eyes. She gave him a small smile and kissed his cheek quickly in reply.

"So, how come you never get drunk anymore?" Hermione asked, trying to hide her slight blush as she took her turn.

The pinkish color spreading over her cheeks fascinated Draco. She would recklessly make a decision, not even considering the consequences with a level of bravery that could have been considered stupid if she wasn't so intelligent. Then, when she realized what she'd done, she suddenly became shy.

"The incident with Lavender made me decide I don't really want to get drunk and make a stupid mistake like that again," he said with his eyes still examining her cheeks. "Why do you drink so much?"

Indecision flashed briefly in her eyes, but she chose to give him an answer anyway.

"I get headaches," she began. "Basically, it helps make my head stop hurting and gets me to relax a bit. It's hard for me to do that sometimes."

Without giving him time to respond, she blurted out her next question. It was obvious she didn't want to delve deeper into the reasons behind why she drank.

"Who did you lose your virginity to?"

Draco groaned. He already knew how she would react and he was not looking forward to it.

"Pansy Parkinson."

Hermione made a poor attempt to hide her instinct to gag.

"Real mature, Granger."

"I'm sorry," she said, still grimacing. "I'm sure she was… delightful."

"She was alright I suppose," he grinned. "It was both of our first times, so it wasn't like I had anything to compare it too."

"According to her, you were apparently amazing at everything."

Draco chuckled, dragging Hermione's chair closer to him and wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"If I didn't know better, I'd say you sound jealous."

She scoffed and looked up at him defiantly.

"You wish Malfoy."

"If you must know," he started, ignoring Hermione's indignant response, "she was definitely exaggerating. I was nervous my first time, like anyone else, and there was nothing impressive about it."

The vexed expression that was previously gracing her face softened at his confession and was replaced by a gentle smile.

"Wow, I never thought I'd hear about you being nervous like a normal person," she said.

"Mhhm," he hummed, playing with one of her curls. "Rest assured though, I've improved a lot since then and you will be suitably impressed if you care to experience it for yourself."

"Dear god Malfoy," she said, rolling her eyes. "You are so-"

"Sexy?"

"I was going to say idiotic actually."

"I'm choosing to hear sexy."

She threw her head back and laughed, her eyes sparkling with merriment.

_Damn_, Draco thought as he watched her and felt warmth spreading through his chest at the sight. _Did it always feel like this when I used to make her laugh?_

Draco considered continuing his line of questioning to find out more about her breakup and what happened with the other guys, but he didn't want the smile on her face to go away.

"What's your favorite holiday Granger?" he asked instead, pulling her closer to him so that she was resting against his side. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away.

"Christmas," Hermione immediately answered. "I love all of the lights, decorations and presents. And whenever it's cold enough where it's snowing and you need a scarf, but it's not too cold to go outside and have a snowball fight during the day. It's the best feeling."

Draco smiled fondly as he listened to her talk excitedly about her Christmas traditions. It was amazing to him that someone could still get this excited over a holiday typically meant for children to enjoy. It reminded Draco of why he thought she was beautiful.

"How old were you the first time you had sex?"

And then she would remind him that she was also very annoying.

"Granger, what's with your sudden interest in my sex life?" Draco asked, pulling on the strand of her hair that he was playing with and attempting to distract Hermione from her question.

"I believe it is my turn to ask the questions, Malfoy. Not yours."

He rolled his eyes before finally answering.

"Sixteen. It was during our fifth year at Pansy's house over Thanksgiving break while her parents were in Cancun."

She nodded thoughtfully and Draco hoped that she finally satisfied her curiosity.

"How far have you gone?"

Hermione tensed a little, causing Draco to rub her shoulder. He felt guilty all of a sudden.

"You don't have to answer. It was a stupid question."

"No, it wasn't," Hermione said, shaking her head. "It's fine. I'm asking you about your sex life, it's only fair for you to ask me about that. I've done everything except for having sex."

Draco grinned at this surprising piece of information and he couldn't resist teasing the studious bookworm.

"Wow, Granger's wilder than I thought."

"Shut up, Malfoy," she said, blushing and pushing his shoulder.

"No seriously," he laughed. "You were practically ready to tear my clothes off last night. Who would've thought you'd be so feisty in bed."

She glared at him and Draco thought he signed his death sentence, but then her entire demeanor changed. Hermione gave him a mischievous smile and leaned in closer, pressing herself up against his side and placing her hand on his upper thigh. Her lips grazed his own and she murmured softly, with impossibly dark, lust-filled eyes.

"There's a lot you don't know about me, Malfoy."

And then she pulled away just as suddenly, leaving Draco breathless and confused. Her eyes clearly conveyed her amusement as he fought to get himself under control. No woman had ever managed to unnerve him so easily.

_Did I imagine the way she just looked at me?_ Draco wondered.

The almost dangerously sexy brunette that he'd gotten a glimpse of was now replaced by the same Hermione that he'd known since he was fourteen. Except for that devilish twinkle in her eyes, there was no way for him to confirm that she did in fact just purposefully try to turn him on. Tried and succeeded.

"How many people have you slept with?"

"Huh?" he managed, still in a daze and staring at her lips.

Hermione let out another beautiful laugh and repeated her question.

"How many people have you slept with?"

Her words finally penetrated the fog in his brain and caused Draco to wince. He would rather not tell her that piece of information.

"Granger-"

"Either tell me or pass."

Once again, Draco considered using his pass, but it seemed like she was opening up to him the more he answered her questions honestly.

_I guess she's going to find out one day,_ Draco thought to himself and sighed.

"Nineteen Granger."

She raised her eyebrows but didn't comment.

"I'm surprised you don't have anything to say about that."

"There's nothing to say about it," she said simply, "provided that you can answer my next question."

"Alright, what's your favorite animal?"

"Dolphins. I like how playful they are," she said, smiling up at Draco again.

It looked like she appreciated his new line of questioning a lot more than his old one.

"Have you ever had an STD?" she asked nonchalantly, examining her fingernails instead of looking at him.

"_Granger!_"

"What?"

"Of course I haven't had an STD!" Draco exclaimed in shock.

He was expecting a range of reactions from her, but he was not expecting this straightforward, almost clinical, question. She was asking him if he had an STD as if she was just asking what he ate for breakfast that morning.

"So, then you've checked."

"Well no-"

"Interesting."

"It is not interesting, Granger because I do not, nor have I ever, had an STD," Draco insisted.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of Malfoy. STDs are surprisingly easy to contract, so you should check for them fairly often. Especially if you've had multiple partners-"

"_Granger._"

"_Alright_. Continue with your questions," she said.

Draco eyed her suspiciously. Something told him that this wasn't the end of that conversation. Hermione didn't look like she quite believed him yet.

"What are you most afraid of?" he asked, choosing to drop it for now.

"Pass," she said almost immediately.

_That's interesting_, Draco thought.

He didn't mean for it to be a sensitive topic and was expecting a typical answer, such as bugs, or needles, or even clowns. He didn't expect her to use a pass, especially after how interested she'd been in his own fears.

"Did you hate Blaise?"

"Yes," he responded, not even hesitating. "What do you think your future will be like?"

"Hopefully, I'll go to medical school and become a doctor," she said, tilting her head as her curiosity was piqued by his previous answer. "Why did you hate him?"

"I don't know."

Draco hated him more than he'd ever hated anyone in his entire life, but he couldn't for the life of him figure out what caused such hostility on his side. Originally, Draco only disliked Blaise because he didn't like the two of them together, but it quickly grew into hatred by the time they left Hogwarts. He was pretty sure he hid it well, but then he blurted it out to Lavender when he was drunk and the whiny gossip most likely spread the information to Hermione.

"Do you see yourself getting married and having kids one day?"

She snorted in response.

"I'm assuming that's a no."

"I used to think I would get married, but I don't think I'll ever be able to take care of a child," she elaborated. "What about you?"

"Probably," he shrugged. "It's what I'm expected to do. Grow up, go to college, work at Malfoy Industries, get married and have kids. That's pretty much my whole life."

"I would hate that," she frowned. "It's so boring and tame. You're entire life is pretty much planned for you."

"I think with the right person it could be exciting."

"Maybe," she muttered, still sounding unconvinced.

"How come you always wear that ring?" Draco asked, taking her hand in his again and examining it.

It was a thin gold ring with four small white stones in the center, organized into the shape of a flower. Draco noticed she'd been wearing it since their sixth year at Hogwarts. As a matter of fact, he originally believed it was a gift from Blaise. The first time he saw it on her finger, he walked up to her, told her he hated her ring and stalked away, leaving a completely baffled Hermione in his wake. A few days later, he heard her telling Ginny it wasn't from Blaise when she asked. Needless to say, Draco never bothered to apologize for his mistake.

"My grandma gave it to me. She lives in Europe and she has cancer, so I don't get to see her very often because she can't come to visit us and we can't afford to take trips there. She sent it to me during our sixth year and I just haven't taken it off since I guess," Hermione explained, watching him turn her hand this way and that with apparent interest. "Why do you hate it?"

"I don't," he said, grinning sheepishly at her. "I thought Blaise gave it to you."

She rolled her eyes and let out a chuckle.

"And you reacted like any mature, adult would."

"In my defense, I wasn't an adult then. Did you have a crush on me when we were at Hogwarts?"

There was a brief, almost unnoticeable, pause.

"No."

Draco straightened, smirking confidently.

"You're lying Granger, which means the answer's actually yes."

Hermione's eyes widened in shock before she quickly schooled her features to convey exasperation.

"Why would I be lying?!" she exclaimed, throwing up her hands and trying to mask her nervousness with irritation.

_She's still pretending I'm wrong_, Draco thought to himself, grinning at her refusal to give up.

"There are a few things that let me know when you lie Granger. That time you hesitated, and you never hesitate when you know the answer and want to share it. Other times, you brush a piece of hair behind your ear," Draco reached up and tucked her hair behind her ear to demonstrate, letting his hand linger on her cheek.

"Anything else?" Hermione asked, her voice a little unsteady.

Draco smiled and leaned in closer, lowering his voice so that she had to move towards him to hear.

"You also tilt your head to the side and try to look innocent. It tricks other people, but it never fools me beautiful," Draco murmured.

He leaned in and gently nipped the tip of her ear before whispering into it.

"I know that underneath that innocent, sweet exterior, you know exactly what you're doing. But even that isn't what really gives you away to me."

"What does?" she whispered back.

"It's your eyes. Your eyes always give you away. They're like an open book. They get just a little bit bigger and when you look at me, there's a challenge there. It's like you want me to know you're lying and you're daring me to call you out on it. And I always will."

He pulled back to look at her again and smirked when he noticed the way her eyes were half closed.

"I believe you asked two extra questions, Granger. So now I get to ask three in a row."

She huffed in mild annoyance.

"Fine Malfoy."

Hermione stood up and walked over to the adjacent table containing the various shirts in order to refold them and regain her composure. Draco grinned wickedly before standing up to follow her.

"Does it get harder to breath when I get closer to you?" Draco said into her ear, trapping her between his arms and the table. Her back was now completely pressed against him.

Hermione's breath hitched, answering Draco's question for her.

He turned her around and watched the conflicting emotions swirl in her eyes as she debated whether or not she should answer honestly. Her hands were resting on his shoulders, not pushing him away but also not pulling him any closer.

"Pass."

Draco grinned. Hermione wasn't stupid. She wouldn't risk lying again after knowing how easily he could read her. After assessing all of her options, she'd decided her best chance at getting out of this was to use her passes.

_You can't avoid this forever Granger,_ he thought to himself before asking his next question.

"What about when I kiss your neck?"

Draco ran his lips up the side of her neck until he reached that sweet spot behind her ear. All he did was breath on it and she dug her nails into his shoulders, desperately trying to hold herself up and letting out a quiet gasp in the process. She was so sensitive and it made Draco struggle to keep himself under control. He wondered what she would do if he had the opportunity to really focus his attention on that spot without her worrying about whether she should let it happen.

"Pass."

"How badly do you want me to kiss you right now?"

Her breathing was shaky at best by now and Draco had to wrap an arm around her waist to hold her up. Her pupils were dilated, and her chest was rising and falling rapidly.

"Pass."

A slow, sinfully seductive grin spread across Draco's face as he leaned in closer, mere centimeters away from Hermione so that his lips were barely brushing hers when he spoke.

"You're out of passes, beautiful."

Draco shut his eyes as he moved to close the distance between them.

_Ring! Ring! Ring!_

Hermione jolted to attention and pulled away from him, ignoring his protests and the fact that she was out of breath.

"It's my alarm," she explained after checking her phone. "We need to take the dogs outside."

* * *

Almost an hour later, the two of us were back inside with Charlie and Cookie. The dogs played together in the corner while I determinedly avoided all kinds of contact with the blonde leaning on the table next to me. Fortunately, he didn't seem very keen on talking either. _Unfortunately_, Draco chose to just watch me instead, making it hard for me to focus on pretty much anything.

I tried to distract myself from his piercing gaze by listening to the song playing quietly over the speakers, but it only had the effect of making me even more tense.

I knew the song. It was "Drift Away" by Dobie Gray. The first time I heard it, I was only four years old and was with my parents at a wedding. My dad danced with me and my sister while it played, and my mom recorded the whole thing from the corner of the dance floor. It was one of my favorite memories to look back on while I was growing up.

"Something wrong Granger?"

Draco was looking at me with mild concern, noticing how I suddenly froze.

"It's my favorite song," I muttered.

Draco listened for a moment before tilting his head and raking his curious gaze over me again.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," he began, "but isn't your favorite song supposed to make you happy?"

"It did," I sighed. "I mean it does. It's nothing Malfoy."

"Granger, we've already established that I can tell when you lie."

I gave an irritated sigh and finally admitted the truth.

"It makes me think of Blaise now. The last time I heard it, he and I were dancing together okay?"

It was over the summer right before we broke up. The song unexpectedly started playing over the radio in his room, and even though he didn't really like to dance, Blaise picked me up from the bed and started dancing with me, swinging me around in circles between kisses.

I hated that random things like a song or a stuffed animal would suddenly bring back all those memories and feelings I tried so hard to forget. It was always out of nowhere and made me feel like I didn't make any progress moving past Blaise.

A few moments of relative silence passed, and I assumed Draco lost interest in my plight. It took me completely by surprise when Draco wrapped a hand around my wrist and pulled me to his chest, wrapping an arm around my waist and holding my hand gently in his.

"What are you doing?" I asked suspiciously and with slight alarm evident in my voice.

"Giving you a new memory."

With that, I was swept up into the arms of the most infuriating person I'd ever known. As annoying as he was though, he wielded a kind of skill and grace that I never encountered among any previous dance partners.

"I didn't know you could dance," I said as he spun me away and then back towards him.

"There's a lot of things you don't know about me Granger."

Draco dipped me effortlessly and planted a soft kiss on the column of my neck before pulling me back up and winking.

"Don't get cocky, Malfoy."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

Despite my words, it wasn't long before my head was resting against his chest and both of his arms were wrapped around my waist as we swayed to the music. The smell of his cologne was soothing and I felt calmer than I thought I would be. I was grounded, as if his arms were securely holding me there and preventing me from becoming overwhelmed by my thoughts. All I was thinking about was how nice this felt and the sound of his heartbeat beating in time with mine.

"Granger," he said.

"Hm?" I acknowledged, keeping my eyes closed as I breathed him in.

"I have to tell you something."

When I raised my head to look up at him, I was surprised to see some traces of guilt in his carefully guarded eyes. Normally, I had trouble reading them at all.

"What?"

"I-"

"_Hermione_?"

Luna's voice came from over my shoulder and I spun around to find her staring at me in shock with a strangely pleased Theo next to her.

"I, uh," I looked from her back to Draco, who only shrugged in response and smirked at me.

I groaned as the realization that I would be interrogated when I got home fully set in.

_Hopefully it won't involve squats until I can't stand this time._

* * *

A few hours later, Draco parked Theo's black Mercedes in front of my apartment building. After complaining that he was tired, Theo had shoved his keys into Draco's hands like a cranky child and pulled Luna into the backseat with him before promptly falling asleep on her shoulder.

A few minutes later, Luna fell asleep as well, leaving me and Draco to sit in relative silence on the way back home in the front seats.

"Luna," I said, shaking the small girl gently.

She muttered something unintelligible under her breath before cuddling closer to Theo's side.

_She's going to regret that in the morning,_ I thought to myself in mild amusement.

"We're home," I shook her again. "Time to wake up."

She sleepily opened her eyes, rubbing them as she took in her surroundings. Once Luna's gaze landed on Theo's head on her shoulder, she let out a surprised squeak and sprung away from him, getting out of the car.

A mortified blush covered her cheeks as she murmured a quick thank you to Draco for the ride and glanced at Theo again. Luna's blush turned into a fascinating shade of magenta when she saw Theo mumble something in his sleep before leaning against the window next to him and going back to sleep. She turned and fumbled with her keys to try and open the building door, so that she could exit the situation as fast as she could.

Chuckling to myself, I moved to open the car door and leave as well, only to find that the door was already open.

"I'm capable of opening a door by myself Malfoy," I snapped as I hopped out of the vehicle.

"It's called chivalry, Granger."

"It's called being unnecessary," I insisted. "If you're not going to do it for a guy, don't do it for me."

"Fair enough," he said, grinning and leaning back against the car with his hands in his pockets. "I'll make a note of that. As long as you keep in mind that there are a lot of things I'd like to do to you that I wouldn't want to do to a guy."

I rolled my eyes at his suggestive tone and turned to go inside. Before I left, I hesitated and looked up at my apartment. Luna was already inside the building.

_I should really go inside too._

But my feet wouldn't move.

"Everything okay?"

_This is a huge mistake._

I felt Draco take my hand in his larger one and immediately all the parts of me that felt like they were always arguing with each other about what to do fell silent as he gently pulled me back to face him.

He took a long look at me.

"I'm not going anywhere if you don't want me to."

_Fuck it._

When my lips landed on his, I could tell he was surprised. It wasn't the most skilled kiss because I was shaking from nerves and I was terrified of how he would react.

_He's not kissing you back._

Just when I decided to pull away and suppress the memory, a switch seemed to turn on in Draco's head and all of a sudden, he took charge of the kiss, drawing me closer to him and applying more pressure onto my lips. It wasn't a rough and desperate kiss, but it wasn't gentle either. That's what I liked about when he touched me. He never treated me as if I was delicate. He treated me like I wasn't any different from him and I could handle everything he gave me. But he also let me know that this was important to him with every caress.

This kiss was different. I wasn't drunk and confident, blurting out all of my thoughts and acting impulsively. I was sober, I was scared, and the worst part was that this kiss was more real to me than all of the other ones. I remembered our other kisses, but this time I paid close attention to the way his lips slowly moved against mine, taking his time with opening my mouth and tilting my chin with his hand to angle my face and give him better access. I memorized how his hair felt underneath my fingers as I ran a hand through it, tugging until he let out a low groan.

His tongue swiped gently across my bottom lip, asking to deepen the kiss. I was about to allow him to do just that, when a disgruntled Theo in the backseat muttered something under his breath in his sleep. I immediately sprung away from Malfoy, touching my lips in shock.

It was engraved in my memory. The feel of his lips against mine, his moans in my ear, and his hands on my skin. They were all burned into my brain. It always felt this intense every time he touched me. Even when he held my hand all those years ago when we were kids. It was such a simple act, but I could remember how it felt every time Draco Malfoy held my hand when I was sixteen years old more than I could remember how it felt to kiss Blaise. If I thought about it, I could still feel Draco rubbing small circles with his thumb on the back of my hand while he smirked at me, knowing the effect he had on my emotions.

I could remember all of that as if it happened yesterday, but I couldn't even really remember my first kiss.

_How does he do this to me?_

I wasn't ready for a relationship. I didn't know if I ever would be again, but no matter how much I denied it, I wanted to be with Draco just as much as he wanted to be with me. I made fun of him for following me around these past few weeks and being unable to think about anyone else, but he was the first person I texted when Blaise and I broke up. I kept seeing him all over campus and honestly, I never approached him because I knew I wanted him. And it scared me. I knew how much Draco could hurt me firsthand. There was a lack of trust there that I didn't know if I could ever overcome long enough to go as far as he wanted me to.

_Make sure you don't get attached. Just keep it casual and maybe one day you can trust him enough to at least be friends again. For now, it's just physical._

I took a deep breath and resigned myself to the fact that Draco Malfoy was officially back in my life. It was a nice five years without him, but I didn't think I could forget him this time. If we let it end before it got any farther, we would just keep thinking about the other person until it drove us insane. We'd already gone too far.

"Do you want to do something together tomorrow?" I asked, wondering if this was a huge mistake.

The victorious grin on his face did nothing to reassure me.

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter! I will do my best to upload soon since I'm on break. Remember to favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think! Happy holidays! (:**


	16. Author's Note 2

This is for anyone who believes I think it's not okay for Hermione to have sex with someone and that it is okay for Draco to. This is really not important at all to the plot of the story lol.

* * *

I know you're not really supposed to respond to someone who doesn't like what you've done, but I was more concerned with letting them know that what they said was not my intention at all. I have attached a message below, which I also sent to them directly, in order to hopefully clear things up for them as well as any other people that feel this way.

If anyone else after reading this message also feels that way, let me know and I will alter or take down this story. That double standard is disgusting to me and is something that has irritated me my whole life. I did not wait for love, I waited for trust, and that is what I was hoping to convey with this story. People should be allowed to explore their sexuality with whoever they please and for whatever reasons as long as it is consensual.

* * *

_Beginning of message_: Please be warned there may be some spoilers in this message I guess?

Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. However, what I was trying to convey by this story was that trust is what's most important for me. As I tried to make clear, Hermione does not love Draco. She is attracted to him and considers having sex with him, but she does not love him. In fact, she explicitly says she's not looking for love. I am also trying to show how unfair double standards were to Hermione because many people seemed to view her as a slut or as weird for being a virgin, when in reality it does not matter how many people she sleeps with or he does for that matter. Personally, I think you're making this mentality worse by saying Hermione can't have sex with Draco because he had sex with a lot of people. And an actual line from this story is where Draco says he doesn't care that Hermione's a virgin and he wouldn't care if she wasn't. He wants to be with her regardless, but since someone's first time is kind of a big deal for some people, he wants her to be sure. The reason he slept with 19 people, and she slept with no one, is because that's what actually happened. This story was based off of my own experiences, and I didn't love him when I slept with him for the first time. I did trust him though, and that was all I needed. At this point in the story, I cared about him and enjoyed spending time with him. Also, as I mentioned in the story, it's been three years since they've talked to each other. Time really takes away a lot of things and makes it easier to forgive people, at least for me.

I am sorry you don't like this story and I hope you find one you do like! I was not expecting such an extreme misinterpretation, and if other people have this view then that is definitely on me as a writer and I will try to find someway to make it clear that it is not because she is "waiting around for Draco." The funny thing is that I didn't even consider that possibility, since I never even thought I would ever see this guy again, much less end up having sex with him. I can see why you feel that way, though I'm surprised at the assumption, since many fanfics seem to have that theme. The reason she's still a virgin, is because she didn't trust the guy she was with for three years. That is the reasoning I was trying to convey. Not because of anything to do with Draco.

I hope this clears up some confusion and you understand that I wasn't trying to convey the double standards message that you think I'm conveying. As someone who has experienced these double standards herself, I would never want to do that. Draco has slept with many people, but that doesn't make him a bad person or uncaring, which is what I'm trying to show. Hermione hasn't slept with anyone, but that shouldn't keep her from exploring her sexuality with anyone, whether it's with Blaise, Cedric, Harry or Draco, another thing I'm trying to show.

I will be deleting your comment unfortunately, because I think it's strongly worded and some parts are not really constructive, and I also don't appreciate being viewed as pathetic, shocker I know, but rest assured I have taken your criticism to heart and will do my best to make sure no one else has the same misconceptions.

Best,  
Dewmoon

* * *

After I sent this message I realized I can't remove reviews that are associated with actual profiles. I'm new to fanfiction, so I didn't realize. Regardless, if anyone else has this view, please let me know. I know Hermione may seem weak right now, but that's because I felt weak during that time. And sometimes, it's okay to feel like that. This story is mainly about her finding herself again and loving who she is with the help of people who love her. All of the people, not just a man, which will become more clear in later chapters if it isn't already.

I would also like to emphasize that this story does not represent how I believe other people should behave. It is about what happened to me, for the most part, though we will branch from that a bit in the future since it is still fiction. I do not view anyone I know as being less for not being a virgin or for being one regardless of gender. That's just such a ridiculous idea to me and I encourage everyone to take into account that we don't know the people whose stories we are reading at all, so it's not fair to make snap judgments based off of their views. Hermione is a virgin and Draco slept with a lot of people because that is what happened. It is not because that's how I believe others should behave. As a matter of fact, the friend of mine who represents Ginny was very much not a virgin and slept with many people, and I believe she is one of the best people I will ever know.

Lastly, I know I keep responding to hate, but I don't really do well with not being able to address things and give my side lol. I'm also very new to this whole experience, seeing as I've never had social media and this is probably the closest I've ever gotten to letting anyone judge me on something that is opinion related. The last one I responded to because there were threats to take down my story, and this one I responded to because I would never want to spread this message and I encourage you to let me know as the readers if you believe I am. Any other criticism, unless it is offensive, I will not respond to.

Thank you for all the support otherwise! I really appreciate it!


	17. Chapter 15

**Here's the next chapter! From this point on, I'm going to be shifting a bit away from what happened in real life for anyone who wants to know. I think the rest of the story will work better that way.**

**Also, I've started a new story for anyone interested! It's called The Lioness, The Witch, and a Malfoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for the plot.**

* * *

The two of us had a strange ritual now. For the past three weeks since the auction, we would meet each other in the library after we were done with classes. Then we would sit in relative silence and do homework, with Draco breaking the quiet to steal a kiss from me intermittently.

I would look up, worked up into a righteous rage, only to find him calmly sitting in his chair and flipping through a book, as if he never even moved. It became a sort of game to him, as if he was testing how many times he could break my concentration before I lost my composure and screamed in the middle of the library.

Luckily, that only happened once. Or maybe twice.

Right now, he was doing something that was infinitely more irritating. Draco was just sitting there. Minding his own damn business. It was the same feeling I imagined I would get if a pig started flying. A mixture of bewilderment, wonder and slight fear. Pigs just were not supposed to fly. In a similar manner, there were some things Draco Malfoy just did not do, and sitting still while behaving himself was one of them.

I took this opportunity to watch him study without having his eyes constantly on me. All of the characteristic arrogance was missing. Whenever he walked into the room, he acted as if the occupants owed him their life. In fact, plenty of times Draco would walk into the library and if there wasn't a seat, he would send a withering glare at some freshmen and they scurried off as if Satan himself walked in, muttering about how that was _the_ Draco Malfoy, star soccer player and an heir to Malfoy Industries. He would then ignore my distasteful look and motion for me to sit down next to him, stating that we may as well use the newly vacated table. According to Draco, he never _told_ the other students to leave. They left out of their own free will. I'd forgotten how adept he was at getting out of trouble.

Watching him study was an entirely different experience, however. He was silent, only moving to turn a page in his textbook. The familiar scowl and smirk combination were missing as he was completely focused on his work. It was almost sexy. _Almost._

As I continued my scrutiny, I realized that I never studied with him. I studied while he fucked around plenty of times, but I never saw him work diligently on anything before now. A smile played on my lips as I watched him push his glasses up the bridge of his nose and twirl his pen in his hand.

Another interesting development, Draco had glasses. I found that I liked him with glasses. Quite a bit.

"Are you through molesting me with your eyes?" he asked, feigning disinterest as he flipped over another page.

I could see the faint smirk. He knew I was watching him for a while. I briefly wondered if he had extra eyes hidden in that obnoxiously blonde hair of his. It was really the only explanation for how he always knew what I was doing.

"Malfoy?"

"Yes?"

"I think we need to clarify some guidelines for this _arrangement_."

"Yes Granger," Draco said, leaning back in his chair to settle an appraising gaze on me that made me shiver. "Continue to refer to me as if I'm a disease that you can't get rid of."

"Well, to be fair-"

"Guidelines Granger," he interrupted. "What are they?"

I took out a notebook from my backpack and flipped to a clean page as he put away his glasses.

"New notebook?" he asked, giving me a strange look.

"Mhhm," I answered. "Misplaced my old one."

I began to write _contract_ in big letters on the top of the page. A scoff came from next to my ear and I turned to my right to find Draco leaning over me.

"I don't think a contract is necessary."

"Why not?" I defended, facing him. "We're not dating so we may as well both be honest about what we want from this and avoid any confusion."

"Alright," he rolled his eyes and pulled his chair closer to me before wrapping an arm around my waist and settling his chin on my shoulder so that he could watch me write. "Go ahead."

"First, when we study together, we don't try to annoy each other."

"Asking me to stop annoying you is like asking me to stop breathing."

"Whichever's easiest," I smiled innocently.

He pinched my side but motioned for me to continue.

"Fine. What else?" he asked.

"How many times do you want to meet each other?"

"If it was up to me beautiful," he began. "I would see you every day for as long as I can."

"That's not possible."

"Which is why it's not up to me."

I considered my schedule as Draco played with a strand of my hair, twirling it around his pen and then appearing mildly perplexed when it got ensnared. He gave an experimental tug and frowned when it somehow became even more tangled.

Draco insisted on using pens all the time. Not once have I ever seen him write with a pencil. Once I asked him about this strange quirk of his. Apparently, pencils suggest the need to correct for mistakes and Malfoys _never_ make mistakes. At that point, I chose to remind him that he had to have made some mistakes since he was below me in class rank when we were at Hogwarts. He promptly told me to go jump in front of a bus.

"I can maybe do twice a week?"

"What about on average three?"

"Okay, but sometimes we'll have to study."

He smiled brightly and kissed my cheek. Draco could be such a complete ass sometimes, but then be strangely sweet. Luckily, he was always confusing, so there was some consistency I suppose.

"Deal."

"That brings me to my second rule Malfoy," I admonished, flicking his nose gently with the end of my pencil and removing his hand from around me. "No PDA."

"_What?_

"Oh, however will you live?"

"You say that sarcastically but I'm dead serious."

"Malfoy," I sighed. "What even is the point of PDA?"

"To show you how much I like you?"

"That's why you have the ability to speak."

"I like you Granger," he smirked.

"Yes, the tent in your pants proved that to me the last time we made out."

"_See_?" he said, pointing at me as if he caught me red-handed. "I can't just _tell_ you I like you when you're such a smartass."

"And how does PDA make me less of a smartass?"

"Well Granger, when my tongue is shoved down your throat-"

"_Alright Malfoy_."

"It stops you from speaking doesn't it?" Draco finished, looking entirely too pleased with himself.

"I could stab your eye out with this pencil."

"You could," he admitted. "But you won't because you like me too."

"I _tolerate_ you," I corrected.

"Same difference."

"No PDA."

"Fine," he huffed. "But then can I see you alone once a week?"

"Can it be when we're studying?"

"Sure. What if we just study in my room from now on?" Draco offered.

"Alright. Also, during exam weeks-"

"Don't worry Granger," he reassured me. "When you have exams, I don't expect to see you at all. You need to study and you would be too tense to enjoy spending time with me anyway."

"Who says I enjoy spending time with you now?"

"The painfully obvious blush on your cheeks whenever I kiss you," he grinned.

"That's from mortification actually."

Draco pulled on my hair in response, finally retrieving his pencil with a satisfied expression.

"Anything else beautiful?"

"Just a couple more things. I don't trust you."

"We established that right before you tried to rip off my clothes."

I whacked his hand with my pencil before I continued. Sometimes his immaturity surprised even me. If I didn't know better, I would swear he was a ten-year-old running around in a nineteen-year-old's body.

"I don't trust you," I repeated, "and I want to be able to before we go any farther."

He seemed to take our conversation more seriously then.

"Of course."

"So, I'm thinking to help with that, I get to ask you to do three things for me. They can be anything I want. Consider it a gesture of good will," I said.

"Okay," he replied slowly, eyeing me with more than a touch of suspicion. "Do I get anything in return?"

"You can ask me to do three things for you?"

"I'll ask for one thing. I trust you enough," he shrugged. "I don't need three."

"If you trust me, then why do you need one?"

"I said I trust you Granger. I didn't say I was stupid."

"Fine," I rolled my eyes. "My last rule is that this arrangement is easily breakable. The moment either one of us wants out, it's over with no strings attached."

"Fair enough," he crossed his arms over his chest. "Are we done now?"

In response, I pushed my journal over to him and gestured for him to read through the contract. I watched as his eyes moved rapidly over the page for a moment before he nodded in affirmation.

"Sounds good to me. Should we seal the deal with a kiss?" he winked.

I groaned at his suggestive tone but couldn't hide my amused smile. Leaning forward, I cupped his face with my hand and tried to kiss his cheek. He turned at the last second and gave me a gentle, but thorough kiss, tangling his fingers through my hair to pull me closer with every tug on my lips. When he finally pulled away, my breathing was uneven and I was speechless.

"Couldn't help it," he murmured in explanation, keeping his forehead pressed against mine.

I noticed his breathing wasn't quite steady either.

"I want to use one of my favors," I looked up at him.

He pressed a kiss to my forehead, then to my nose and a last chaste one on my lips before releasing me.

"No more PDA," he assured me. "I promise. What's the favor?"

* * *

"Granger when you said favor, this isn't exactly what I had in mind."

"Good. I live to be unpredictable."

We were currently parked in Draco's Ferrari outside of an STD testing clinic, much to his displeasure.

"No, you live to be a pain in my ass. I don't _need_ to get tested for an STD!"

"As soon as they confirm that," I said nonchalantly, "then we can leave."

"I don't see how this has anything to do with trust," he grumbled, still refusing to move.

"Because after today, I will _trust_ that you won't infect me with anything if we decide to _you know_."

"Oh," Draco scoffed. "You asked me to get tested for STDs and _now_ you're shy about the idea of us having sex?"

"Just shut up and get out of the car."

"This is very insulting."

"Why?"

"Because you don't think that I used protection when I had sex!"

"Of course I do," I said, taking his hand in mine and pulling him towards the door of the building. "But condoms aren't a hundred percent effective. This is just a healthy precaution. Plus, there's so much unnecessary stigma about it. I'm getting tested today too, but you don't think any less of me do you?"

"Why are _you_ getting tested?" Draco asked incredulously as we entered the clinic, still holding onto my hand like a scared child. "You're a virgin. Why would you have an STD?"

"You can get an STD through any kind of contact with an infected area of another person Malfoy," I informed him. "That means third base can give you an STD."

He still looked unsure of himself. I could tell that the moment anyone came towards him with any kind of pointed object, Draco would most likely make a dead sprint for the door. He was out of his comfort zone. Taking pity on him, I turned the boy towards me and stood up on my toes to give him a kiss on the cheek, which caused his eyes to brighten a little as he wrapped his arms around my waist and held me to him.

"I thought you said no PDA?"

"You looked sad."

"So, if I'm sad you'll kiss me in public?"

"Not always Malfoy," I chuckled and removed his hands to emphasize my point. "Look, if you really don't want to do this then I won't make you. I promise it's probably nothing like whatever you're thinking it is and it'll be over really quick. It would just make me feel better if we were both cleared."

"Fine," he sighed, "I'll do it for you."

"How sweet."

"Don't patronize me Granger."

* * *

An hour later, Draco and Hermione were parking the car and walking up the stairs to his apartment.

"How was I supposed to know that I just had to give a little blood and pee in a cup?" Draco asked her. "You didn't _tell_ me that!"

"Well, _sorry_, but I didn't realize peeing in a cup would make you feel better," she said, rolling her eyes as she unwrapped the hideous, fuzzy red scarf covering her neck. "And I thought you were afraid of needles. I didn't know you were stupid enough to think they would try to shove something into your penis."

"For the last time, I'm not afraid of anything. I thought my pride and joy was about to be threatened! And you're the future doctor. I don't know about any of this stuff!"

"Good to know that after almost twenty years of being alive, your greatest accomplishment is your dick. And most normal people, regardless of whether or not they want to be a doctor, know _that_ is not going to happen if they go into an STD clinic."

"I was exaggerating Granger," Draco defended himself.

"Sure you were."

At this point, the two of them reached his apartment. Draco pulled out his keys and unlocked the door to let her inside.

"Theo?" he called.

No answer. A mischievous grin spread across his face at that realization. They had the entire apartment to themselves.

She walked in and placed her scarf on one of the armchairs in the living room.

"So, what do you want to-" Hermione's words were cut off by a strangled yelp as Draco wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against his body, peppering kisses along her neck.

"Oh, dear god!" she said in irritation as she whacked his arm.

"Close beautiful, but it's actually Draco," he murmured as he nipped the shell of her ear.

She snorted but didn't pull away.

"That's unoriginal."

"Sorry, I'm a little distracted right now."

Draco lifted her up as she laughed and gently laid her down on the couch. Her legs wrapped around his waist and Draco groaned when he settled himself between them. He was entirely pressed against her and it felt like heaven. Adjusting himself so that his weight wasn't crushing Hermione, he kissed her forehead and pushed some strands of hair away from her face.

She was breathless, her hair was a mess, and her eyes were slightly closed due to lust. In Draco's expert opinion, she'd never looked better.

"I like you Granger," he said as if it was something he said every day.

Dear god, did she turn him into someone with _feelings_? Draco didn't even mean to say it out loud. In the library, he only said it to provoke her.

He liked her body sure and she was one of the only people who could engage him in a conversation without boring him to death. But there was no way in hell he actually _liked _her. As in the taking her on dates, thinking unselfishly of her before him, buying her all kinds of nauseatingly sweet gifts kind of like. Draco liked her in the way where he liked that she couldn't annoy him if he was kissing her.

He just wasn't a romantic and it would be better for everyone involved if she knew that too.

Her eyes widened in surprise. Hermione looked confused and weary, but not necessarily upset, which Draco supposed was an improvement compared to how she normally looked at him.

"You've mentioned that."

"I know."

"And I told you that I know that because of the tent in your-"

Draco pressed his lips to hers again, muffling the rest of her sentence. Part of him was thankful that she didn't read into his words. It looked like she wasn't very romantic either.

"Just. Please. Shut. Up," he murmured in between kisses. "You ruin it when you talk."

"I-"

He interrupted whatever indignant, no doubt witty, response she was about give him with another, much longer, kiss, grinning against her lips when she sighed in pleasure.

Draco liked the effect he had on her. Hermione always appeared so composed, but he had the unique ability of reducing her to a bundle of nerves and anticipation, a skill Draco used to his advantage whenever they argued and it got out of hand. Which was almost every time.

However, to be fair, Hermione was able to completely undo any of his resolve with just a glance or a smile. Fortunately, he was better at hiding her effect on him.

He pulled away to watch her react to his touch underneath him again. Hermione was just so expressive. Her eyes were feverish in their intensity and she was staring directly at his lips with dilated pupils.

"Malfoy," she tugged insistently on his collar.

Hermione had been repeating his name a few times. Of course she would get irritated when making out with him.

"Hm?" he asked, indulging her by leaning down to place open-mouthed kisses up her neck until he got to that spot behind Hermione's ear that made her arch against him desperately.

"Nothing."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and tightened her legs around him until he was as close as their clothes would allow them to be.

_Speaking of clothes…_

Making some distance between them with one last lingering kiss, Draco looked into Hermione's eyes and fingered the edge of her red sweater, which he dimly noted was just as unnaturally hideous as her scarf. He tilted his head to the side questioningly. Not bothering to say anything, she just grinned and nodded. If possible, he felt himself get even harder at that point and buried his face against her neck, kissing and biting gently at her skin. He made his caresses gentle, so that they tickled her and caused her to laugh a little underneath him. Finally giving Hermione a moment to catch her breath, Draco tugged his shirt off and reached for her again. She leaned forward and stretched her arms above her head. He kissed her before starting to pull her sweater off.

"_DRACO!"_

The world flipped upside down and Draco winced when his head connected with the hardwood floor. The next thing he knew, he was looking up at a startled, still fully clothed, Hermione on the couch and a frazzled Theo. It looked like Theo slammed open the door and shouted, causing her to fling Draco off in surprise.

He groaned in pain and closed his eyes, praying that whatever deity was guarding the obsidian gates of hell, because there was no way he was getting into heaven, would just kill him already and get it over with. Death would be better than this strange torture where he was repeatedly tempted with Hermione Jean Granger, only to have her cruelly wrenched away from him every time.

_Just put me out of my misery_.

He felt a foot nudge his side. Draco opened his eyes to see Hermione grinning widely down at him.

"Sorry," she said, not a trace of remorse apparent on her face.

"No problem _beautiful_."

He hoped his tone made it obvious that he meant bitch.

"Need help?"

"I'd rather just die here if that's alright with you."

She shrugged as if she had no real feelings concerning his mortality.

_Well damn._

Another pair of eyes joined hers above him.

"Why are you shirtless on the ground?" Theo asked.

"Because Theo_,"_ Draco started. "I've decided that this is the most comfortable spot in the entire apartment. I will now live and die right here."

Theo rolled his eyes at the other boy's dramatics before the earlier panic crept back into his eyes.

"You guys have to help me."

"Unless the actual Grim Reaper has followed you home Nott," Draco said as he got off the floor and relocated his shirt, "I don't want to hear it. Now if you'll please leave, so that I can continue seducing Granger?"

Hermione pinched his shoulder, causing him to wince in pain.

"Ignore him Theo," she said, glaring at Draco, who quite honestly didn't know what he'd said that was so wrong. "What's the matter?"

"I have a _date_ with _Loony Lovegood!_ _WHAT DO I DO?!"_

"Well first, you should probably stop calling her the nickname that we gave her when we were twelve," Draco noted dryly.

"You have a date with _Luna__?!"_ Hermione exclaimed in shock. _"_She's never dated someone before!"

_"NEITHER HAVE I!"_

"If you could stop shouting Theo," Draco said, "I would sincerely appreciate it."

Hermione glared at him with enough venom to paralyze a large animal, before pulling Theo down to sit on the opposite side of her on the couch. They energetically began to exchange ideas for where to take Luna on the aforementioned date and how to make sure Theo didn't accidentally screw up, which he was convinced would happen.

The brunette was arguably his best friend, but right now, Draco was plotting how to murder him without going to jail. When Theo asked him if he wanted to live together, he wasn't expecting this to happen.

"Yes Theo," Draco muttered to himself. "I would love to live with you. We'll have so much fun."

"What was that?"

"Nothing," he said, smiling at Hermione with feigned enthusiasm.

She grinned back at him and squeezed his hand before turning back to Theo. Draco felt his annoyance ebb slightly when she didn't let go of him and instead tangled their fingers together. He brought their hands up to his lips and kissed each of her fingers gently as Hermione continued to talk to his roommate.

_How does she care so much about other people? _he wondered.

Her kindness was contagious. Just the other day, a sleep-deprived freshman had spilled all of her coffee onto his expensive, Italian suit, which he wore for a presentation he had in his economics class. She promptly started sobbing and stammered out apology after apology. Instead of berating and sneering at her like he normally would have, Draco found himself buying her another coffee and snapped at her to stop crying. She'd looked up at him with big brown eyes, much like Hermione's, and thanked him profusely, offering to pay for his dry cleaning. His only response was that she should stop being such a clumsy idiot before he stomped away in his drenched clothes.

He wondered what possessed him to be so _nice _to another student, especially one that seemed so incompetent. Draco knew he was charming, but only when he would benefit from it. He was rarely pleasant for no reason.

When he arrived at the library a few minutes later, he immediately realized that it was Hermione's influence. She was sitting there, tapping the end of her pencil on the table and reading a book as she waited for him. It made him smile and feel all warm inside, which also caused him to feel disgusted with himself.

When he took his usual seat across from her, she'd glanced up at him before resuming her reading. After a while, she asked why he smelled like coffee and didn't change before meeting her. He wondered out loud if that was an offer to help undress him, to which she answered that she understood it was difficult for monkeys to accomplish such complex tasks by themselves but that he should try to do his best anyway.

Draco grinned at the memory. He was rubbing off on her as much as she was rubbing off on him. It filled him with satisfaction knowing that he was slowly corrupting Hogwarts' Golden Girl. She usually reserved her biting remarks for him, but sometimes they slipped out unintentionally with other people.

Once, a man approached her while they were studying and started asking her many questions about herself. Draco knew he was fishing for a date, but Hermione only seemed frustrated with the interruption. She had a project due the next day and was worried she wouldn't finish in time. Even Draco knew not to bother her right then. Eventually, she'd snapped at the stranger to get lost because he could obviously tell she was busy and she didn't have time to deal with his horniness. When she realized what she said, Hermione started babbling about how sorry she was and that she didn't mean to yell at him, while Draco just watched the whole exchange with pride and mild amusement.

Despite his influence, Hermione was still the sweet, patient girl that he'd met when they were fifteen overall, with an additional level of confidence that Draco found extremely attractive. It surprised him how strong she actually was, though he'd always known not to underestimate the petite girl. While she appeared to be gentle and kind to almost everyone, her numerous barbs warned others that she wasn't someone you wanted to mess with. Of course, Draco chose to ignore those warnings in favor of seeing her eyes spark with anger and her chest heave in frustration. To him, she looked undeniably sexy when she was mad.

Draco sighed as he returned his attention back to the other two people on the couch. Hermione was no longer holding his hand, and was instead fully engrossed with the task of helping Theo.

Picking up his book on the coffee table nearby, Draco began to read in an attempt to distract himself from fantasizing about poisoning his friend's breakfast. He'd _probably_ regret it if he did.

* * *

After almost an hour of reassuring Theo that he would not mess up and be killed by Ginny for hurting Luna, he calmed down enough to disappear into his room and get ready for bed. I shifted in my chair to face the man still sitting next to me. Draco was reading a book, looking like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Hello," I said, watching him curiously.

"Hm," he acknowledged.

While Draco appeared to be calm and relaxed, I could see the way his grip on the book was slightly too tight and how his eyebrows were a little too furled to be pleased.

His Highness appeared to be upset at something.

"We have plans tomorrow."

"Do we? I don't remember planning anything."

_He wasn't listening to our conversation at all_, I belatedly realized.

"We need to go on Theo's date with him," I informed the blonde, waiting for the inevitable fury and corresponding temper tantrum.

"I'm busy," he replied simply.

"Doing what?"

"Watching grass grow while I eat tin foil dear."

He put down the book and stalked into the kitchen. I sighed before getting up to follow him. When I walked in, I found him examining the contents of the fridge.

"Malfoy," I chided gently.

His only response was something about idiotic roommates and the logistics of poisoning someone.

"Malfoy," I repeated, going up to him and poking his side. "Are you listening to me?"

"Unfortunately yes, there are very few things capable of drowning you out."

"You seem tense," I observed.

"_Do I_ _Granger_? How kind of you to notice."

"Why?"

"Because I would like to spend some time _alone_ with you without any other living thing within a twenty-foot radius."

"Some people would consider that weird and slightly threatening."

"Yes, because I definitely want to kill you," he said sarcastically, leaning against the counter opposite of me and crossing his arms across his chest.

"Did you know you're high-maintenance?" I asked him.

"Yes," he said with an expression that clearly conveyed: _do you even have to ask._

_At least he's self-aware, I guess_.

"And spoiled?"

"I prefer to call it being assertive."

"Alright you overgrown man child," I relented, "if I make it worthwhile, then will you help Theo?"

"I'm not really a helpful type of person-"

"I'll spend the night with you."

He fell silent, probably expecting me to immediately take it back. But I didn't.

"You're serious?"

"Yes?"

"Like actually serious?" he repeated, appearing dumbfounded.

"Well I was," I said, "but now you're making me doubt whether I should be. Padma and Luna are going back to Fayetteville for the weekend and I don't really want to go home, so I'll spend the weekend with you if you want."

"That's two nights. Are you sure?"

"No sex."

"I figured, but you're willing to spend two nights with me?"

"A willingness that dwindles with each passing second," I told him, raising an eyebrow. "Will you help?"

"Of course," he said with a smile that could charm the fangs off a snake. "I would love to."

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Remember to favorite/follow and review to let me know what you think! Also check out my other story if you're interested.**


End file.
